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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask what things you could smugly say you had never done?.....but in other news....

186 replies

PyongyangKipperbang · 15/04/2021 20:40

So I was smug that I had never put a pizza in the oven with the polystyrene tray still attached. I mean, what kind of fuckwit does that?!

In other news...... I am having sandwiches for dinner.....

OP posts:
Rosewood017 · 15/04/2021 23:18

I didn't really try to feed my newborn a spoonful of rice crispies, meant for her big bro.

Fortunately instead of politely accepting, she looked at me like I was a complete imbecile.

Caramelsmadfuzzytail · 15/04/2021 23:18

I've never locked myself out of my flat twice and asked local shop keepers if they have a ladder.

I have never grated my thumb whilst using a mandolin.

In other news, my cat has tried pear cider.

Caramelsmadfuzzytail · 15/04/2021 23:18

*mandoline

EvilOnion · 15/04/2021 23:18

I definitely did not throw a teabag in the washing machine instead of a laundry pod because why would I?! One is a bright blue squishy square and the other is a dull brown flat circle so i'd have to pretty thick to get them mixed up...

In other news, I did the same (dark thankfully!) load of laundry twice today because it smelt a bit weird.

TotoAnnihiliation · 15/04/2021 23:21

I totally didn't try to open another car today thinking it was mine. It wasn't even the same colour or make.

AlohaMolly · 15/04/2021 23:21

I absolutely have never taken a nursery class on a trip to the farm and spent five minutes panicking because I’d managed to lose two children, tried to stay calm while frantically asking my TAs where X and Y were, only to have it pointed out that I was, in fact, holding X and Y’s hands...

StillCoughingandLaughing · 15/04/2021 23:23

I’ve never been all through the washing basket, my gym bag and my pile of clean clothes, as well as looking twice in every room (even ones I haven’t been in) desperately trying to find a blouse I KNOW I’ve worn, and which can therefore be added to my load of laundry... before catching sight of myself in the window and seeing that I’m actually still wearing it.

Sunnyday321 · 15/04/2021 23:24

I have never walked to my front door and pointed my car keys at it to unlock.

SusannahSophia · 15/04/2021 23:27

I have never driven on the school run, chatted in the playground for a while, walked home as usual to find my car missing from the drive. I certainly wouldn’t do it more than once...

amusedbush · 15/04/2021 23:31

I’ve never been so tired from jet lag that I yawned, stretched my arms out and accidentally stuck my hand in a stranger’s coat pocket.

In other news, I met a very kind and understanding woman in a shop in New York Blush

BashfulClam · 15/04/2021 23:34

@Mayorquimby2 get tempered glass protectors from abs in. Total game changer as they crack rather than your phone and you just replace it.

Original poster
PyongyangKipperbang · 15/04/2021 23:37

@Pleasegodgotosleep

I have never called the police to report my car stolen then told them the last place I saw it was when I dropped it at the garage for it's MOT.
Actually hurt my tummy laughing at that!

My mother just rang because (at 47) I didnt ring to tell her I was home safe from work. We got chatting and I mentioned "senior moments" and she told me that my father just spent an hour and a half looking for his cochlear implant batteries. She tried to tell him where they were but he said "there is no point telling me I cant hear you as the batteries are going". She was on speaker so I said "Daddy, Mummy says your batteries are in the office, top drawer" he said Thank You and went to get them.

In other news.....my mother is joining MN!

OP posts:
BashfulClam · 15/04/2021 23:37

I always wondered what sort of daft dickhead would leave their debit card in a chip and pin machine...seems when you are getting your lunch it’s easy!

I have also never posted my bank card into the letterbox thing you used to have for deposits at the bank along with the envelope...then reported it lost/stolen. I have also never got a replacement card without realising I’d get a new pin if reported lost and got it swallowed at a petrol station atm!

PomBearWithoutHerOFRS · 15/04/2021 23:47

I have never, three times never, taken any of my children to school on an inset day and tried to style it out by pretending we were "just passing" when spotted by staff. .. And my little darlings have never given me away while doing it...

Letsplough · 15/04/2021 23:47

I have never panicked in the shopping centre looking for DS, asking my DD where is he only for her to tell me ' in your arms mum'. Nope, not meSmile

Wineat5isfine · 16/04/2021 00:02

I have never ever cooked a turkey with the giblets still inside in a plastic bag.

I have never (through sheer tiredness), attempted to open my front door with my car keys, getting frustrated that the clicker wouldn’t work.

I have also never pulled up to work in my car, having forgotten that my (at the time) 1 year old was in the back of my car...and should have been dropped off at nursery.

Nope. Never.

EscapeDragon · 16/04/2021 00:07

I have never decided to wear flip-flops on a train journey.

Nor have I ever boarded a train, stubbed my toe as I got on and shot the flip-flop straight off my foot and underneath the train.

Original poster
PyongyangKipperbang · 16/04/2021 00:08

I have never been so tired I almost dropped off on the bus and then got jerked awake to panic that someone had stolen my baby, or I had left him somwhere. He was 10 weeks old and sleep was for pussies.

He was being looked after by my mother when I went for my appointment.

This was 30 plus years ago and I still get that dream sometimes.

OP posts:
EmeraldShamrock · 16/04/2021 00:21

It's nice to hear you all have brain crashes too.

CoRhona · 16/04/2021 00:24

@EscapeDragon

I have never decided to wear flip-flops on a train journey.

Nor have I ever boarded a train, stubbed my toe as I got on and shot the flip-flop straight off my foot and underneath the train.

GrinGrin
Bythehairywartsonmywitchychin · 16/04/2021 00:36

Never ever have I twice locked my car keys in my boot and had to call the AA to open it...

I also have never stopped behind a parked car thinking it was waiting in traffic.....

Learningtofeminist · 16/04/2021 00:50

I have never been on the phone to a friend while getting ready to go out, and run through my ‘have I got what I need’ checklist thusly:

“Okay, got purse, keys, sunglasses... phone. Where the hell is my phone??”

🥴

Learningtofeminist · 16/04/2021 01:05

Having RTFT (sorry) I am very happy to learn other people have never done that with their phones!

I have definitely never shaken up a Calpol bottle after taking the lid off.

In other news, I once had to go to work with Calpol all over my coat, and in my hair.

MrsAvocet · 16/04/2021 01:10

I've never brushed my teeth with hydrocortisone cream or rubbed toothpaste into my eczema. You'd have to be absolutely bloody stupid to make that mistake once, never mind several times...

CockneyCutie · 16/04/2021 01:23

I’ve never been 20 mins late for work, looking for my shoes (that definitely absolutely were not on my feet all the time...)