to ask what things you could smugly say you had never done?.....but in other news....

[PyongyangKipperbang]

So I was smug that I had never put a pizza in the oven with the polystyrene tray still attached. I mean, what kind of fuckwit does that?!

In other news...... I am having sandwiches for dinner.....

[Rexasaurus]

I have never cooked rice perfectly & then accidentally dumped it all in the sink.
In other news we had microwaveable packet rice in...

[TheVampiresWife]

I've never fallen off my slipper on my way to the toilet, broke my foot in three places and required surgery to put it all back together.

In other news, I've got a lovely scar on my right foot.

[PyongyangKipperbang]

Well I am so glad that we have never done these stupid things, what a bunch of arseholes we would be if we had!

In other news..... :o

[CoRhona]

I have never ignored the oil sign lit up on my car for months. This is a car that would have gone for many, many more miles.

In other news, I now have another car which didn't break down and have to be scrapped

[AwkwardSquad]

I have never absent-mindedly dropped an effervescent vitamin tablet in my tea.

In other news, fizzy tea isn’t as bad as you’d think...

[PhilCornwall1]

I have never used my keyless ignition car, then come back home, jumped out with fob in my pocket and my wife then driven away to an office 40 miles away from home, with no way of starting it if she stalled it or parked up somewhere.

In other news, she drove back home carefully after a phone call to pick up the spare fob, you know, just in case she lost the one she didn't have in the car already.

[ilovesooty]

I've never walked into a glass door of an ice cream parlour and had to walk around on holiday abroad with two black eyes and a fat lip. Oh no.

[NFLwidow]

I was smug when I had a bright idea to put the not as advertised silent crickets we had bought for DD’s bearded dragon in the oven so I couldn’t hear them.
Not so smug the next day when the husband put the oven on and I’d forgot to tell him..

[Doingtheboxerbeat]

I have never cracked the screen on my phone or had a Facebook account.

[BrilloSolar]

I've never found DH's phone on the bed when he's gone to work, and then immediately TEXT him to tell him he's left his phone at home!

[Noodledoodledoo]

I have never upended my handbag on the passenger seat as I couldn't find the car keys - whilst driving with said keys in the ignition.........

[EmeraldShamrock]

I have never used the torch on my phone to look for my phone.

[Cocopogo]

Since menopause I have done so many of these! ...misses point of thread...

[Frickssake]

I have NEVER panicked thinking someone has stolen my car

And I have definitely never ever realised I actually parked it in a different street........

Also I have NEVER tried to open a car identical to mine then looked at the registration and realized it wasn't actually mine......

And I can catagorically say I have NEVER gone up to someone, slapped their ass, then realised they are someone else and not actually my husband. Not me.

[Pleasegodgotosleep]

I have never called the police to report my car stolen then told them the last place I saw it was when I dropped it at the garage for it's MOT.

[RumJerrySailorRum]

I have never had a panic attack after realising my car had been stolen from the staff car park and tearfully rung my husband asking what the hell to do.

In other news, I was driving my husbands car that day!!

[DiptyqueandDiamonds]

I have never melted new carpet by trying to melt out red candle wax I had dropped on it...

[DiptyqueandDiamonds]

...with an iron and grease proof paper

[honeylulu]

I was smug when I nipped out of the house to throw the stinky nappy bag in the bin and remembered to take my keys because the door often slams shut.

Certainly I would not have done something as stupid as thrown the keys in the bin and then realise I was standing there still holding the nappy bag (and the door had slammed) and had to crawl through a bin full of stinking rubbish and nappies to find keys.

And I definitely didn't do exactly the same thing two weeks later.

In other news I happened to fancy an extra shower both those days.

[bookandabrew]

Texted someone to let them know they'd left their phone at my house

[ALongHardWinter]

I dare not say what I have never done, because I know it will be tempting fate.

[Thelnebriati]

I have never tried to put on second pair of glasses while wearing first pair of glasses because that would mean I'm an absent minded twat.

[spaceghetto]

I have never put 7 scoops of formula in our washing machine.

[Mayorquimby2]

Had a solid 23 year streak of not breaking a phone screen, tbf this isn't as impressive in the first 13 years or so, then I had a kid.

2.5 years in and if my phone lasts 3 months without getting a crack that's an achievement.

[Hardbackwriter]

Yesterday I said smugly to DH that I was coping so much better with the tiredness this time around and that I still felt focused. Today I tried to put my newborn's sock on my nearly 3 year old's foot and just couldn't work out why it wouldn't work.