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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My DH has bought me a gift...

319 replies

Sunshinesandice · 15/04/2021 12:58

My husband was acting a little strange around me yesterday - shrugged it off and let it go..

This morning he presented me with a gift , a pair of thigh high bondage lace up platform pole dancing boots. He gets off on the way they look and wants me to wear them in the bedroom.

I am bit speechless if I’m honest. I’m not sure how to even react.. it’s so not me at all , if anything I’m cringing so badly. But he is my husband and I understand he’s trying to make more of an effort with us in that department...

How do I let him down nicely ..

OP posts:
SunshineCake · 15/04/2021 21:50

This is all very err..

Neonprint · 15/04/2021 21:52

It's not really a gift for you is it?

GreyhoundG1rl · 15/04/2021 21:53

This whole thread appears to be a gift for op...

DinoHat · 15/04/2021 21:55

Still here in your boots. Wtf is he doing in the shower?

Asposhasitgets · 15/04/2021 21:56

Photo or it didn’t happen...

osbertthesyrianhamster · 15/04/2021 22:16

@Sunshinesandice

I’m waiting for him to come down , so he can see me in them, tell him how much I dislike them and he can send them back. They’re vile
So just tell him, FFS! You tried it, it's not for you. Just go no further. He was 'too embarrassed' to tell you but not to research the things online and throw £140 on them, you tried them on, you don't like them. So bloody well tell him that.
osbertthesyrianhamster · 15/04/2021 22:17

Let him see you, 'This doesn't work for me.' Gees, all this carry on, I've had less with flings/one-nighters. 'Hey can you do X for me, I like it?' 'Sure' or 'No'. 'Okay'. Sorted.

GreyhoundG1rl · 15/04/2021 22:57

Anybody else getting abusive pm's from the op? Hmm

Original poster
Sunshinesandice · 15/04/2021 22:57

@GreyhoundG1rl

Anybody else getting abusive pm's from the op? Hmm
Are you actually ok? I really don’t think you are ?
OP posts:
GreyhoundG1rl · 15/04/2021 22:58

I can screenshot it if you like?

GreyhoundG1rl · 15/04/2021 22:58

Or report to MNHQ?

Original poster
Sunshinesandice · 15/04/2021 23:00

I told you that you were vile . How is that abusive ? Go ahead screen shot :)

OP posts:
Original poster
Sunshinesandice · 15/04/2021 23:04

@GreyhoundG1rl

Or report to MNHQ?
Gone quiet have we ? Hmm
OP posts:
GiveMeTulipsfromAmsterdam · 16/04/2021 08:59

Does he usually buy present for you that are really for him?

What a dick.

RampantIvy · 16/04/2021 10:02

Please can you let us know the outcome @Sunshinesandice?

Viviennemary · 16/04/2021 10:09

I can't see how hobbling around in a pair of ill fitting boots can improve somebody's sex life. Still I suppose it takes all sorts.

toocold54 · 16/04/2021 10:42

I’m waiting for him to come down , so he can see me in them, tell him how much I dislike them and he can send them back. They’re vile

Why would you do that whilst wearing them hmm
Now I realise OP is a fetish troll.

I don’t get some of these replies.
Why would OP showing her partner the boots and saying she doesn’t like them make her a troll?!
It’s showing him that she has tried them but still doesn’t like them do he needs to return them.
I dread to think what some relationships are like on here where this is seen as abnormal.

Original poster
Sunshinesandice · 16/04/2021 11:46

For those that strangely jumped to the conclusion I am a troll - trust me I’m not .

Outcome - we had a very heated discussion , I tried them on as I said I would , but that’s all that happened . I had told him to send them back, it wasn’t my thing, I felt totally uncomfortable and unhappy . But i tried and that was it.

OP posts:
ThumbWitchesAbroad · 16/04/2021 12:00

So is he sulking now? Or has he accepted that this is not something you are going to be coopted into?

I think you still need to have a further discussion about how this is going to affect your lives going forward!

Original poster
Sunshinesandice · 16/04/2021 12:06

I completely agree , because I didn’t like his reaction when I told him how it really wasn’t for me . He kept saying but you look so amazing, and it would only be occasionally.. at that point I got angry as I knew it was for his benefit only

OP posts:
osbertthesyrianhamster · 16/04/2021 12:31

@Sunshinesandice

I completely agree , because I didn’t like his reaction when I told him how it really wasn’t for me . He kept saying but you look so amazing, and it would only be occasionally.. at that point I got angry as I knew it was for his benefit only
And £140 for them! FFS. Yeah, you did more than I would have. I wouldn't have tried the damn things on because I don't like that type of stuff and all the rest. Nor would I have expected my husband to accommodate me in such a way without talking to him about it first.

NO. Stand your ground. You said no and he doesn't want to take that for an answer.

And thinks it's fine to spunk 140 quid up a wall on his fantasies rather than speaking to you about it first like a mature adult, 'too embarrassed', my arse.

I'd think long and hard about marrying a sulker who doesn't communicate well and won't take 'no' for an answer.

HeyDemonsItsYaGirl · 16/04/2021 12:40

@Sunshinesandice

I completely agree , because I didn’t like his reaction when I told him how it really wasn’t for me . He kept saying but you look so amazing, and it would only be occasionally.. at that point I got angry as I knew it was for his benefit only
It's going to get worse. Good luck.
ThumbWitchesAbroad · 16/04/2021 12:43

Urgh, I'm sorry to hear that - I think maybe his porn habit is starting to have an impact on your real lives, and maybe that needs to be revisited, as well as discussing whether you want to actually be married to him if this is going to be an ongoing issue!

DinoHat · 16/04/2021 13:08

@toocold54

I’m waiting for him to come down , so he can see me in them, tell him how much I dislike them and he can send them back. They’re vile

Why would you do that whilst wearing them hmm
Now I realise OP is a fetish troll.

I don’t get some of these replies.
Why would OP showing her partner the boots and saying she doesn’t like them make her a troll?!
It’s showing him that she has tried them but still doesn’t like them do he needs to return them.
I dread to think what some relationships are like on here where this is seen as abnormal.

Because OP was reportedly wearing the boots and waiting to present herself to her OH WHILST providing MN with a live feed and continuing to post at regular intervals. OH supposedly in the shower when queried what he was doing whilst she was “hobbling around” in latex and posting on MN.

Posted at 21.20, 21.22, 21.46... all whilst in the boots. In the real world, you’re more likely to summarise after the event. At that point it became pretty clear it was all made up.

toocold54 · 16/04/2021 17:15

Because OP was reportedly wearing the boots and waiting to present herself to her OH WHILST providing MN with a live feed and continuing to post at regular intervals. OH supposedly in the shower when queried what he was doing whilst she was “hobbling around” in latex and posting on MN.

Posted at 21.20, 21.22, 21.46... all whilst in the boots. In the real world, you’re more likely to summarise after the event. At that point it became pretty clear it was all made up.

I see your point I just think if it was a troll it would be something a bit more exciting/outrageous than her partner buying her a pair of shoes lol.