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It’s my birthday and DH ruined it

149 replies

JM55 · 14/04/2021 21:21

I’m sitting here in a flood of tears. Hungry (because he specifically told me not to cook and proceeded to be really shitty with me). He didn’t order food.
He never makes me feel special and today is another day. I am beginning to dread special days, My whole family is abroad, I deeply miss them today and I don’t know what to do.

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?


You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.

Dropdeadfred2 · 14/04/2021 21:23

Happy Birthday . Sorry you are sad. Can you go for a drive and call a friend for a chat??


ICantBeDoingWithThis · 14/04/2021 21:24

Happy Birthday 🥳 🎂 I’m sorry to hear DH has ruined it OP.

One question, what is the point of him?


JM55 · 14/04/2021 21:25

I feel embarrassed about discussing this with friends (they get spoilt on their birthdays) never felt this lonely.

OP posts:

DeRigueurMortis · 14/04/2021 21:26

It's no way to live.

Ring a solicitor tomorrow. Find out your rights and leave him.

Go be with your family if that's possible.

Don't wait to have a crap birthday next year - look forward to celebrating it without him and with people who care for you Thanks


TiggeryBear · 14/04/2021 21:26

Happy Birthday 🎂
I'm so sorry that you've had a lousy day.


sadpapercourtesan · 14/04/2021 21:26

Maybe you should decide that this is the last birthday he's going to ruin. Unless he has some pretty stonking redeeming features?

Happy birthday Flowers Cake Wine


MajorMujer · 14/04/2021 21:26

You poor love, I watched my best friend have any special occasion ruined by her wanker of a husband, it was heartbreaking.
She left in the end.


Ninkanink · 14/04/2021 21:27


🌷Happy Birthday!🌷

I’m sorry your day has been so shit.

It doesn’t sound like this is a good relationship where you feel loved, cared for and valued. Are you sure you want to stay with him?


pickingdaisies · 14/04/2021 21:27

Don't feel embarrassed, feel angry. Think of a friend, and tell them. But first, is it too late to order yourself a takeaway?


MarkRuffaloCrumble · 14/04/2021 21:28

Go out and pick up some takeaway for yourself, even if just a McDs or some chips. He’s a shit for making you wait for food that never came, even more so on your birthday.

You deserve better. Give yourself the birthday gift of freedom from a selfish man Flowers


LizzieSiddal · 14/04/2021 21:30

Is it just special days he's “really shitty with me”or is he like that on other days too?


dotty12345 · 14/04/2021 21:31

Happy birthday lovely, I understand had many birthdays ruined by twat of an ex. Make this your last one. 🎂💐🍾🎉🎈


Nats1984 · 14/04/2021 21:32

Happy birthday. He sounds crap. Mine used to be too, he does better now because I tell him, I’m ordering a new dress or some shoes for myself and then I order a huge takeaway from my favourite place and just get him to pay . If he’s wilfully spoiling it, that’s different and you need to think carefully about whether he’s good enough for you. In the meantime I’d have a long bubble bath and order something nice to eat for when you get out and sit and pig out infront of something good on the telly. Sending health and happiness for the coming year ( as I wish all my friends on their birthdays ) 🎉


MichelleScarn · 14/04/2021 21:32

Happy Birthday @JM55 order yourself a takeaway as pp have said, stuff him!

It’s my birthday and DH ruined it

DeRigueurMortis · 14/04/2021 21:33


Is it just special days he's “really shitty with me”or is he like that on other days too?

Does it matter?

Someone who genuinely cares for you is t someone who's nice most of the time but purposely ruins a special day.

IME people who do this simply can't stand anyone else being the centre of attention.

So whilst they are "worse" on special occasions that don't centre them, they "encourage" groom their partner to keep them in the spotlight the rest of the time to keep the peace.

UnsolicitedDickPic · 14/04/2021 21:33

I'm so sorry OP. Happy birthday from this internet stranger. You deserve lovely things.


MajesticWhine · 14/04/2021 21:34

Have a nice drink of your favourite tipple. Get yourself a bunch of flowers tomorrow. And time to review this relationship, he sounds like a miserable fucker.


AriseMyPretties · 14/04/2021 21:34

Is this a pattern?

As in,
He tells you what to do/not do
You do as he says
He gets nasty because you did as he said and instead of the opposite.

If yes, he's a gaslighting emotional abuser.

Leave him, it will only get worse.


speakout · 14/04/2021 21:35

What happened OP- how did this situation happen?


stackemhigh · 14/04/2021 21:45

Leave him. You’re missing out on good things the use of him.


EasterEggBelly · 14/04/2021 21:55



Aprilshowersandhail · 14/04/2021 21:58

My dh ruined my 40th birthday.. He was an exh before my 41st.


tara66 · 14/04/2021 22:04

Happy Birthday! But how old are you? Some say birthdays are really mostly for children. A lot of people get neglected on their birthday but how did he mess up? Is this the first time (and will it but the last)?!


Vallmo47 · 14/04/2021 22:05

Happy birthday OP. Treat yourself as soon as you can to a very special day and pretend that’s your birthday. Don’t spend another minute thinking about him and his behaviour. FlowersCake


thefourgp · 14/04/2021 22:09

Why do you stay with him? You sound sad and you need to find your anger. Anger will help you take action and change the situation you’re in. How dare he treat you like this.

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