It’s my birthday and DH ruined it

[JM55]

I’m sitting here in a flood of tears. Hungry (because he specifically told me not to cook and proceeded to be really shitty with me). He didn’t order food.
He never makes me feel special and today is another day. I am beginning to dread special days, My whole family is abroad, I deeply miss them today and I don’t know what to do.

Happy birthday, sorry to hear its been rubbish. U deserve so much more. Treat urself atleast. Ur worth so much more so give urself that worth even if he wont.

You wont feel loved by someone who simply doesn't love or even respect you, op.

Leave him before he ruins next year too.!

Dear JM55, My Ex loved to spoil anyone else's special day. Glad he's an ex. He can be the centre of attention in his own friendless world now.
Have some tea and toast, get some sleep, and decide what you want your life to be with a fresh mind in the morning

Happy birthday!
Get yourself a takeaway tomorrow and leave him hungry.
If, when, he complains then it's only what he did on you tonight.
And then yeah make plans.

@JM55
It sounds as if you are married to a arsehole.

Do you have children?
Could you just up sticks and leave?

You've only got one life, and you are wasting it. Leave this fucking twat.

Why are you with him?

@DeRigueurMortis

It's no way to live.

Ring a solicitor tomorrow. Find out your rights and leave him.

Go be with your family if that's possible.

Don't wait to have a crap birthday next year - look forward to celebrating it without him and with people who care for you

This

Happy birthday OP

Picture your next birthday. Free of this twat. Living wherever you want to live. Surrounded by friends and family, good food and drink. A little flirtation with a lovely guy who's about to become something more.

Playing devil’s advocate, is your OH fully aware of how you feel?

I’m just asking because I’m married to the most loving, caring and warm-hearted man, but he’s never done anything special for my birthday. Or any other occasion. But things like that aren’t important to me, birthdays are just like any other days for us.

We’re both on the same pane.

So if your OH ignores you, maybe he’s not fully aware how hurt you are.

Obviously, if he knows - twat, move on, life’s too short.

Hug 🤗

Happy Birthday OP.I'm so sorry your feeling like this.😔

Sounds like there is a back story to this...?

Happy birthday 🥳 - some people are not good with birthdays. Just remember to never celebrate with him again. Do it with friends family or organise something your self

OP I grew up with my Dad behaving very badly every one of my mum’s birthdays. He was a narcissist and hated it being her day. She should have left him and had a better life. Please go, you deserve so much more than this

Happy birthday 🥳

Give yourself the best present ever and leave this man, he’s a drain on your mental health

You know that having a man arguing and swearing at you is not in any way acceptable, don’t you?

He feels he's under no obligation to be nice to you because he's sure you'll stay. I bet this isn't the first time he's hurt or disappointed you. Your DH has no motivation to change since he knows that all you'll do is cry. He's sure you won't leave. I hope you someday you'll realize there's a better life to be lived away from this man.

Happy Birthday, lovely 🍒🍓❤️ I’m sorry your husband is being awful. You should probably take a break from him & see whether you’d probably be happier without him & then you can meet someone who DOES make you feel loved & special. I was married at 17 and my husband didn’t make me feel loved, now I’m with someone who does and it’s much better.

So he made a point of telling you not to cook, then didn't make or order food?
What kind of bloody psycho does that? No wonder you're upset!

How could he even begin to explain that?

I'm hypersensitive when it comes to birthdays...because my parents basically gave up on them after I was 9 and my mother called me a bitch (and meant it) on my 11th birthday (to this day, 42 years later, I have no idea why/what I'd done to deserve it).

My 30th was great. My 40th was dreadful, my now exH couldn't even be arsed to take the evening off (even though he easily could have). My 50th....well it's nearly 3 years later and I'm still fucking angry about it. My now partner managed to completely fuck it up. It was his 50th last year and I did sod all for it - didn't even get him a card. Zero guilt. You reap what you sow.

This year, like last year, I'll be doing what I want, probably on my own. It's the only way I can guarantee I will enjoy the day.

Happy birthday op, please make it your last one with this wanker your worth so much more and life it too short

@JM55

You say "he couldn't hold it together even one day". Does that mean that him being a shit or treating you like shit is a common occurrence?

You don't have to put up with it you know. There ARE ways out of a bad marriage for just about everyone. You just have to find the one that works for you.

If he walked out the door today would life become better/easier/fairer?

If yes, hold the door open & push!

[quote AcrossthePond55]**@JM55

You say "he couldn't hold it together even one day". Does that mean that him being a shit or treating you like shit is a common occurrence?

You don't have to put up with it you know. There ARE ways out of a bad marriage for just about everyone. You just have to find the one that works for you.[/quote]
I just clocked that too.

@JM55
YANBU to want a nice evening on your birthday. YABU to expect that from someone who is a selfish nasty shit.

As others have said, you could give yourself the best birthday present ever in the form of a Decree Absolute.