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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be annoyed by message about washing my car

430 replies

21summers · 13/04/2021 13:42

Neighbour has sent me a (second) message asking us when we’re going to wash our car. We ignored the first message.

It’s not muddy or dirty. The alloys are still silver. It’s just dusty because car washes have been closed for months. They’re good neighbours otherwise. AIBU to be irritated and to think I can decide when I want to wash my own car that’s doing nothing to them except sitting outside on the public road (and it’s not parked in front of their house, it’s parked in front of ours).

OP posts:
Plumbuddle · 14/04/2021 18:01

@crosstalk

I have pet spiders in mine - and webs outside between wing mirrors and car. There's a whole ecosystem that would be destroyed if I cleaned it. And round here it's so agricultural that the world would flood if farmers cleaned mud off their Hiluxes. The only things I clean are the number plates since it's illegal otherwise.
Do the windows though! As a young woman I once got stopped by police on Parliament square and made to handwash my windscreen whilst a bunch of laughing male drivers passed by... but I could see when washing it that the dust had caused a real hazard...
godmum56 · 14/04/2021 18:03

@Hophopandaway

I can see your point and i would say you are not being unreasonable however this just highlights the general lack of care of modern Britain. people have just lost standards, I accept of you are disabled washing the car may be beyond someone however in the 80's I remember everyone washing their car each weekend in my estate and in the 60's when having a car was much rarer the pride in ownership caused them to be washed weekly. And actually get a cheeky smile from "I wish my wife was as dirty as this" scrawled in the mud on the back as a subtle reminder the car probably needs a clean. Really a filthy car is like having a filthy garden, or not showering or brushing ones hair. Also cars that are barely cleaned are often those maintained worse as people pay less attention to them. So no it was a bit much recieving a message however having a dirty car is like wearing unpolished shoes just not great standards and for a lot of people they will judge people for it.
seriously? I mean seriously? I mean this has to be a joke right?
Plumbuddle · 14/04/2021 18:06

Thanks all posters, this has such been a wonderful read and made my day! OP, seriously don't answer these neighbours further and be careful about even taking in post for each other or any other favours. From the other posters it seems this is a common syndrome but I've never come across it before and it just smacks to me of the type of neighbour who then tries to control other stuff and uses one issue to then stepping stone onto another. A friend of mine had a neighbour who so badly pestered the street with fussing and control freakery that she actually had an ASBO put on her for it.

fourandnomore · 14/04/2021 18:09

After those notes I can guarantee I would never wash my car again. What an absolute cheek.

CambsAlways · 14/04/2021 18:17

Oh god this has to be a joke! Seriously! If not I’d write a message in the dust, I can’t think of a good enough answer though!

Idontcareboutthestateofmyhair · 14/04/2021 18:17

Tell them to mind their own bloody business! Some people! I used to live in a very private estate and our neighbour drove us mad with stuff like this! He was always complaining to factors about every tiny infringement (rules were very over the top). One day he came to my door and offered to paint my side of fence. Told him politely where to go! Ironically, we usually painted our fence before he did every summer but just hadn't got round to it, at no point did I ever think he should be doing his! Wankers

aimsi · 14/04/2021 18:20

I’d pop out periodically over the weeks with a bucket, sponge, make a big deal of it, so they can see then over act a shake of the head, gather everything back up and go back inside...

Rockdown2020 · 14/04/2021 18:26

My neighbour said the same to me once and I told he was welcome to do it for me. He’s not said it again. Very weird behaviour!

cjpark · 14/04/2021 18:29

You dont live in my street do you? My nutty neighbours have his and hers matching 'silent witness stylee' boiler suits which they adorn every Saturday at 9am to do a full outside and inside valet of their 3 cars.

countrygirl99 · 14/04/2021 18:30

I'll lend you mine to park up outside. I regularly drive up muddy tracks and cart horse gear in it. Not only is it filthy but it smells distinctly agricultural. But I can sleep easy knowing no one will steal it and if they break in they will back probably run away.

PersonaNonGarter · 14/04/2021 18:30

They are retired, aren’t they?

No one with actual demands on their life behaves like this.

cherish123 · 14/04/2021 18:30

How rude! Ignore it.

SEMPA1234567 · 14/04/2021 18:31

Wow! That is unbelievably cheeky! That would put me of washing it ever again! I think I’d have to have a drive around in some mud just to see what the next note would say! 🤣🤣

ACB10 · 14/04/2021 18:31

😂😂 why are you engaging with people who quite obviously have mental health issues🤷🏻‍♀️

MrsBadcrumble123 · 14/04/2021 18:33

I’d really like to know who thinks YABU because they need to get a life

MrsSugar · 14/04/2021 18:36

What a cheek !

I’d message Back just saying go and take a running fuck to yourself and totally blank any further contact! My cars dirty but it’s mine and il decide if and when I washed it

Shell4429 · 14/04/2021 18:39

@MidnightHangingTree

My car gets washed by the garage when it goes for its MOT, I don't bother in between... your neighbours would love me Grin
Same! Once when it’s MOTd and again when it’s serviced. My son never washes his car, he says what’s the point it will only get dirty again.
Confusedandshaken · 14/04/2021 18:39

We just sold our car after 13 years. The only time it was ever washed was when the garage did it as part of its 2 yearly full service. I wonder if neighbours talked about it!!

Myfriendsays · 14/04/2021 18:40

I would just send a message saying Why are you asking??

Alwaystired90 · 14/04/2021 18:43

Where do you live - Windsor castle? or another royal estate? 😂

They need to pull their head out of their backsides. I don’t have time for people who are embarrassed by a bit of dust. Oh how very dare you taint our pristine neighbourhood. Time for them to concentrate on their own lives - it’s none of their business what you do!

Tallybo · 14/04/2021 18:45

My neighbour kept mentioning that one of my bushes needed pruning, I said if it bothers you that much feel free to do it, they did haha. I do try and keep the garden tidy- the lawn is mown, toys tidied up etc and it's not a shared garden so not really any of their business but still.

HowManyToes · 14/04/2021 18:46

My car is nearly 3 years old and it’s never been washed! The last one was washed once - I was over at my PILS for a cuppa on my day off, MIL and I were happily chatting away when we realised FIL had disappeared. He was out the front washing my car as it was annoying him so much 🤣

Original poster
21summers · 14/04/2021 18:53

@MrsBadcrumble123

I’d really like to know who thinks YABU because they need to get a life
I think my neighbour found the thread 😏*@MrsBadcrumble123*

Hit the nail on the head @PersonaNonGarter

OP posts:
Caoilinsmum1 · 14/04/2021 18:54

I would rub loads of dirt all over it and leave it just to annoy them further! They sound like fruit loops! 😬

Skyelils · 14/04/2021 18:55

Tell them to mind there bloody business cheeky sods