Teenagers and food waste, I am losing my mind.

[JensonsAcolyte]

I don’t know if I’m being really fucking petty about this but I lost my shit yesterday after they went through a box of cereal in six hours.

Kids are 17 and 18. We also have a 9 year old. I buy nice treat food like a mug every week and the older kids just go through it like it’s going out of fashion. I’ve told them not to, obviously, begged and pleaded and shouted and sworn and nothing sinks in.

I’m at the point of thinking about locking the larder.

So on Sunday I bought a box of (overpriced junk) Krave because youngest DS loves it. He usually has a few pieces mixed in with his weetabix or porridge.

By yesterday morning it was gone. DS had got up at gone midnight and had half a box over two bowls, DD then had two bowls for breakfast, before I got up.

This is an ongoing battle. Also taking huge portions of food and not eating it. Dinner last night, DD took a huge pile and then picked out half of it (the aubergine she didn’t like) and left it on the side of her plate.

There’s a large Tupperware full of home made egg fried rice that one of them made on Saturday night while I was out and didn’t eat. I’ll be binning that in a minute.

They both like to cook but cook stupid things like a batch of thirty cheese straws. Or a huge macaroni cheese for one person. I’m constantly running out of milk, cereal, flour, eggs, pasta.

They are supposed to ask for food, which I hate making them do but have to, but then as soon as I’m out or in a meeting or even just in the fucking shower they are like locusts.

Any ideas? Is this par for the course with young adults? They are both skinny fuckers as well which is actually infuriating considering all the shit they eat.

I’m living with 4 teenagers. God help me . This is what I do.

I gave to charity shop the big deep cereal bowls and bought the smaller rice type bowls.

I get a click and collect once a week. Half of the snacks/cereals I lock in the garage and put out when the other bits have gone.

If no one speaks up and says there is no bread, milk left. I don’t replace it. If they take the last bit I make them go to the shop and replace it.

If they want food after 8 and had dinner etc I tell them to walk up to co-op and buy their own where 99% of the time they have put their reduced stuff out.

Since Covid my food bill has gone up by about £40 a week and it just isn’t sustainable.

My children are younger than your but they both have a snack box each. My sons is often empty because he's eaten all of his treats. Then he's forced to move on sandwiches or fruit!

Oh good grief DD has just had the entire 100g cereal.It’s 11am!
I just weighed out 100g of corn flakes and I know some people exist on tiny bowls of cereal but I'd totally have eaten that as a teenager!! OP I wonder do you make such a deal of things being snacks/treats/unhealthy (just going on your op) and limit them so much, that it sends your kids running for them? If I got egcoco pops which we only get about five times a year tops, everyone would run for them in the same way when we get cupcakes or something like that, I'm chomping at the bit to get to mine. Do you know what I mean? And at that age they need so much food!

They can have as much cereal as they like, I have a larder full of weetabix, muesli, porridge, cornflakes etc.

"Ah yes, I really fancy a nice healthy bowl of weetabix rather than these lovely chocolate filled cereal pillows", said NO teenager ever.

For the skinny teenagers, buy many boxes of cheap (own brand or Lidl/Aldi) sugary cereal. It's about £1 a box. Yes, sugar isn't good for them, but the teenage hunger is something else. They are skinny, and their bodies are literally screaming out for high calorie food. They'll grow out of it, and back to normal food soon enough.

I understood your point, OP.

The chocolate Krave cereal is a treat food, your youngest eats about 10g at a time in his other cereal/porridge.

Your other two children happily eat 250g+ of this Krave cereal as a portion, leaving NO Krave cereal for your youngest to have in tiny quantities IN ADDITION to his other cereal/porridge.

Your other two children have ACCESS to ALL other standard cereals and porridge, the same as your youngest does.

The older two have taken the Krave cereal (which is, to all intents and purposes, used like 'dressing') and eaten ALL of it, leaving none for your youngest son.

You're not depriving your older two children of any foods, they have access to it all, but they have no brakes when it comes to eating 'treat food' which there is limited supply of.

It's greed that is the issue; it tastes nice so they want all of it, leaving none for their younger brother.

Hard boiled eggs. I boil a dozen at a time and they sit in the fridge for snacking and will oft have one with breakfast.

This is our "go to" snack, too. Tasty, nutritious and protein rich.

Yum!

OP you are deliberately ignoring some key questions, asked by several posters now:

1. Are you teenagers overweight (and overeating) or are they genuinely hungry?
2. How is eating food wasting it?

My mum used to go absolutely mental about food. One week all the bananas would get eaten within three days, so she would kick off, screaming and shouting etc. and make a right scene about it to everybody (my dad, me, siblings). Then the next week we'd be really cautious about the bananas but unbeknowst to us she had bought extras, so then most of them went off because everyone was too afraid of her wild moods to have one.

My sister was also in recovery (or trying) from anorexia at the time and would experience extreme hunger at times -- my mum would have a shit fit if she ate leftovers or other stuff she wasn't "allowed" (mum was already outraged about the amount of food she had to buy for DSis's weight restoration meal plan).
My sister, now in her thirties, is still anorexic.

I don’t think teens should have to ask for food though. I did, and any time I went into the kitchen my DM used to come running in after me to see what I was doing. She was, and still is, obsessed with food. I think it contributed to my unhealthy eating habits. My DS can help himself to food and thankfully seems good at self-regulating as he is a healthy weight and has also become v good at making himself sensible snacks.

The problem with this though, is that not all teens are the same. My 13 yr old will eat everything in sight if he is allowed. He doesn't like sport of any kind and his only interest is gaming so if I let him eat whatever he liked, he would be over weight (he already is a bit but I manage to keep it under control with not letting him eat whet he wants when he wants).
My 15 yr old pretty much eats when hungry and doesn't eat everything just because it's there. Perfectly normal weight. I can't have one rule for one and another for the other so it's a blanket "ask before you take food" rule. There is a balance, as I don't want to be like my mum was with food and be very controlling or cause guilt for eating but I can't let my 13 yr old just eat what and when he likes and watch him get obese.

When DH gets home from shipping were bag up the less healthy snacks and hide them. If they are determined they will hunt it down but most of the time, if it is not obvious they will eat something else. DH will produce certain amounts each day. As for cereal, yes they eat a lot but if Leave has been finished, they will have Weetabix or Shreddies until next shop. All are skinny and oldest 2 are 6'3 and 6'5"(still growing) so seem to be hungry much of the time.
If one of them makes 30 cheese straws, freeze 20 of them. They will defrost in no time and then there is something in the freezer to snack on if everything else gone.

@suspiria777

OP you are deliberately ignoring some key questions, asked by several posters now:

1. Are you teenagers overweight (and overeating) or are they genuinely hungry?
2. How is eating food wasting it?

My mum used to go absolutely mental about food. One week all the bananas would get eaten within three days, so she would kick off, screaming and shouting etc. and make a right scene about it to everybody (my dad, me, siblings). Then the next week we'd be really cautious about the bananas but unbeknowst to us she had bought extras, so then most of them went off because everyone was too afraid of her wild moods to have one.

My sister was also in recovery (or trying) from anorexia at the time and would experience extreme hunger at times -- my mum would have a shit fit if she ate leftovers or other stuff she wasn't "allowed" (mum was already outraged about the amount of food she had to buy for DSis's weight restoration meal plan).
My sister, now in her thirties, is still anorexic.

1. I said in my OP that they are both skinny.

2. Two separate issues. Eating all the treats AND making/leaving huge quantities of food.

Snack/treat boxes only work if you don’t get annoyed at them eating the biggest treats first.

It doesn’t matter that your DD ate it straight away in one go. She knows how much she had, and for how long, she made a choice and now she will have to deal with they when there’s no chocolate pillows.

That said I think starting the boxes on a punishment footing wasn’t a great idea. I get why you did, but they’ll just view it as you huffing about the cereal rather than something you’ve brought in for good.

Buy them their own box of cereal every week/fortnight/whatever. Same with other treats. Fill the box and then let them police themselves (although make sure there are clear sanctions for touching someone else’s box).

It took my lot a month of huffing and puffing to realise I was serious. They all have a far better relationship with food than I do now.

mrsm43s, I see what you mean but they're eating the 'healthy' cereals anyway.

If this were my issue (and I hope to god it never is), I'd buy a box of Krave for each child - let them eat it as they see fit on the understanding that once it's gone, it's gone. That way nobody feels deprived.

It's a wider issue though in that these older children don't understand the concept of 'fair shares'. That would be the issue for me and I suspect, for the OP also.

I keep 'treats' in my car boot & the car key on my person. It's the only way with a house full of teens or Mr Nobody eats the lot.

Teens do have voracious appetites.

And it is good that they cook things.

Would it work to talk to them constructively about planning? Along the lines of when they cook something plan when it will be eaten and cook an amount accordingly.

Involve them in planning the shopping: what do they want to cook so what milk etc will you need to buy?

Most teens are very environmentally aware: I wouldn’t Chuck the rice, I would make them do it, and see it in the bin. But not in a shouty way, in a factual way: “it isn’t safe to keep rice for ages and reheat it, please throw away what you left in the fridge’.

Be very clear about ‘treat’ food not being for midnight munchies, and make sure they have Weetabix / Aldi /Lidl lower sugar basic cereal as fuel.

It’s all very exasperating but they are learning.

Ergh poor you. I went through this with three teens so I made them all pack lunches and a breakfast and left them outside their rooms and locked the kitchen door. I also locked other rooms in my house too as they would trash them. Thank god it didn't last long.

suspiria777, the OP's very first post said that her children were skinny, no need to be accusatory either.

@LyingWitchInTheWardrobe

Thank you for your posts! You get it.

All very familiar - I have 2 teens and a younger one as well.

Also a DDBF that enjoys the culinary offerings that DD provides

I have taken to hiding half the ‘snack’ shopping or it would get eaten within a couple of days

I also have to specify what are ingredients for main meals, or that gets swallowed up in a DD elaborate culinary elevensies type situation. Eg an avocado and chicken salad halloumi panini type thing, using the chicken that was meant for tonight’s curry.

You get the drift 😬

I would definitely hide/lock away the nice things for your youngest.
Its really not fair the older two get to scoff all the nice things.
I would buy aldi/supermarket brand of all the snacks and chocolate. Even just for a while so they get the message.

@Whatisthisfuckery

I feel your frustration OP. I have a 13 year old DS who will ransack the cupboards after I’ve been shopping. He will eat an entire packet of kit last in less than 24 hours for example.

I have begged, reasoned, ranted, shouted, tried just not buying things which punishes me as well, and nothing works. As soon as anything nice comes in the house he’ll sweep in and hoover it up.

Nowadays I buy one stash for him and a separate stash for me. I tell him which is his and he can get on with it as he chooses, and if it all gets eaten within three seconds of entering the house then tough, that’ it until next shopping day, which tends to be a couple of weeks away. It tends to work quite well for a while, he’ll destroy his stash and leave mine alone, but if I leave it too long, and mine does tend to last me a long time, he’ll raid it eventually.

If you ever find a way of teenager proofing the treat food OP then please let me in on the secret, because I have tried literally everything, and the best I can manage is a temporary cessation of hostilities.

Mine just never did that.

If they wanted something, they asked.

I would just lock the larder. Put a lock on it if they can't control themselves.

@Whatisthisfuckery

I don’t buy sugary cereal nowadays, it actually makes you hungrier. For breakfast in my house I have a big bag of Alpen, which DS can attack to his heart’s content, and he does like it. Plus there’s bread for toast, plus I buy crumpets regularly and we have eggs and bacon for weekends. Sugary cereal is a waste of money though as it just causes an immediate sugar crash and results in more eating.

Isn't Alpen full of sugar?

@JensonsAcolyte

Ooh I like the idea of snack boxes.

Then they can go wild (to a point) but not impact on anyone else. Plus I love a good box.

I don't know if this helps but I buy treats from Approved Foods. They sell biscuits, popcorn, treats etc that may be past their best-by dates so is discounted.

And before anyone shrieks, the food is perfectly good! It's all packaged stuff (nothing fresh or frozen or refrigerated).

(Mods, please note: I don't have anything to do with the company so I am not spamming or promoting them.)

Sorry - it's Approved Food, not Foods. (Just checked the web site.)