Teenagers and food waste, I am losing my mind.

[JensonsAcolyte]

I don’t know if I’m being really fucking petty about this but I lost my shit yesterday after they went through a box of cereal in six hours.

Kids are 17 and 18. We also have a 9 year old. I buy nice treat food like a mug every week and the older kids just go through it like it’s going out of fashion. I’ve told them not to, obviously, begged and pleaded and shouted and sworn and nothing sinks in.

I’m at the point of thinking about locking the larder.

So on Sunday I bought a box of (overpriced junk) Krave because youngest DS loves it. He usually has a few pieces mixed in with his weetabix or porridge.

By yesterday morning it was gone. DS had got up at gone midnight and had half a box over two bowls, DD then had two bowls for breakfast, before I got up.

This is an ongoing battle. Also taking huge portions of food and not eating it. Dinner last night, DD took a huge pile and then picked out half of it (the aubergine she didn’t like) and left it on the side of her plate.

There’s a large Tupperware full of home made egg fried rice that one of them made on Saturday night while I was out and didn’t eat. I’ll be binning that in a minute.

They both like to cook but cook stupid things like a batch of thirty cheese straws. Or a huge macaroni cheese for one person. I’m constantly running out of milk, cereal, flour, eggs, pasta.

They are supposed to ask for food, which I hate making them do but have to, but then as soon as I’m out or in a meeting or even just in the fucking shower they are like locusts.

Any ideas? Is this par for the course with young adults? They are both skinny fuckers as well which is actually infuriating considering all the shit they eat.

Alpen is the no added sugar one BTW. It’s plenty sweet enough, in fact the other one is far too sweet, even for DS who will eat sweet things until he bursts.

I have three late teens at home and yes they are like gannets. Sugar and carbs seem to be particular favourites. They are all (unfairly) rake thin.

TBH I take a fairly laissez faire approach and I buy cheap filling foods in bulk and let them go at them freely. I buy a small amount of treat stuff and when it has been eaten it is gone until the next food shop. I do specify that eg a packet of biscuits must be split 3 ways which they generally respect.

They tend to go and buy any further treats themselves from their own money.

After that they can fill up on home made bread, of which we always have lots, or whatever they can be bothered to cook, usually eggs, rice or pasta. If it is something appealing to everyone, like brownies, then it must be shared 3 ways. They are pretty good about this TBH.

Be a bastard and go and buy smaller bowls. My DC does this with cereal so I bough a set of IKEA dip bowls for cereal and got rid of the rest (into the cupboard for when DC moves out)

The rage. The whining. The complaints it wasn’t enough.

But it worked. I showed the correct portion size fit in a dip bowl and that toast can be had on the side of cereals with some fruit.

I'd give them a shared treat box. So they can see the effect greediness has and argue between themselves over it.
I'd also have a locked cupboard for treats for the rest of the family.

But as far as how much they eat in general, they're slim, so they clearly need to eat that food.

And as far as food waste, when they make things then not bother with it. Why are you making them more food when they have food ready made? They get egg fried rice for dinner and you serve yourself. They'll get sick of eating it and make less next time.

Do you have any serving size cups? It's really hard to know how much rice is the right amount of rice tbh.

@EveningOverRooftops

Be a bastard and go and buy smaller bowls. My DC does this with cereal so I bough a set of IKEA dip bowls for cereal and got rid of the rest (into the cupboard for when DC moves out)

The rage. The whining. The complaints it wasn’t enough.

But it worked. I showed the correct portion size fit in a dip bowl and that toast can be had on the side of cereals with some fruit.

Ooh.

We have deep cereal bowls which is probably the problem. They fill them to the brim.

I like the idea of giving them portion sized bowls. It’s petty and evil but will work.

When I was 19 I remember my younger brother (18)and his girlfriend(17) literally eating everything in the house I would come home from work/college and there would be hardly anything left. They would go through bags and bags of crisp in one go etc.
I never had to mention it to them or my mum as After a couple of weeks my mum caught on and started hiding food just for me under the stairs in boxes so they couldn’t find it! We still laugh about it now our little secret stash

It’s definitely a teenage thing

I don’t think teens should have to ask for food though. I did, and any time I went into the kitchen my DM used to come running in after me to see what I was doing. She was, and still is, obsessed with food. I think it contributed to my unhealthy eating habits. My DS can help himself to food and thankfully seems good at self-regulating as he is a healthy weight and has also become v good at making himself sensible snacks.

I don’t understand why you are bothered that she ate the cereal straight away? Teen brains get a much bigger kick from sugar, from fat than ours do. Their pleasure receptors give them more feedback so it’s actually harder for them than us - and I would still have eaten it too!

Go to Aldi buy a few boxes and give them theirs -
Get them to chose and ship with you. Hey then to spend your budget. Wasting food is a pain but I can’t see anything up with the other eating.

Mine plays a competitive sport and has an extra two meals a day plus enormous amounts of basics. He starts the day with a mixing bowl of porridge and has already had a cooked lunch and a snack. Its not mid day! Its relentless but normal for growing kids.

I still remember getting pissed off at the judgement of my teen eating - thin not fat but told I was greedy in a way that suggested moral weakness and a dislike for me. You know what I am greedy, love food and eating and that’s a great thing about me. I cook and share and make a great lunch date. Your skinny cooking teens sound great to me - they aren’t over eating. Don’t make them the problem

Oh dear surely you can't give teenagers snack boxes .

What you're describing like pasta etc I wouldn't mind being used.

Selfish to eat all the cereal, yes.

I cook large quantities of nutritious dinner every day which often goes uneaten by them as they ‘don’t like it’ or they’ve stuffed themselves on shit all day.

Now THAT would really pee me off!

So they aren't hungry (or they would eat their meals as well as all the cr*p) - they are fussy and demanding and just want what they fancy - not "proper" food.

No way, Jose!

Maybe I just need to unclench.

It’s just really frustrating to do a £200 shop on Sunday and have no treats left by Tuesday.

Oh well, at least they leave my wine alone.

I used to do a shop while teenagers were at college, or more likely in bed, and lock everything non perishable in the boot of the car. Bring stuff in gradually. It is not just your own teenagers - it. is the friends and hangers on that used to annoy me. Presumably their homes did not have any spare food.

I’d buy them a box of Krave each. The novelty will wear off

I feel your pain OP

Just buy what you can afford, and portion off part for younger DS

My 2 are 16 and 18 and always so hungry. They will eat a bag of Doritos each in 10 mins. Then it’s no more crisps until the next shop, so they (reluctantly) eat the fruit, nuts, cream crackers, cereal

Basically I buy what I buy and when it’s gone it’s gone

It’s fat days and lean days

Treat box for each child, for the week, once the treats are gone they're not replenished until the next Monday. They could be allowed to cook healthy but cheaper food like jacket potatoes and beans on toast most accessible for when they want bigger portions. I'd even consider stickering any freezer items that you don't want them eating, and if it's eaten taking it out of their future pocket money, just natural consequences that shouldn't make a difference to your younger child. I'd even consider making things like cheese inconvenient for them by only buying cheese from a counter when needed, or buying solely non grated cheese.

Petty? Evil? Yes BUT you are also going to be instilling in the proper portion control. A vital life skill.

They’ll get just as much enjoyment from the cereal in a smaller portion and the bonus of toast and fruit or in my DCs case. Hard boiled eggs. I boil a dozen at a time and they sit in the fridge for snacking and will oft have one with breakfast.

Might they have been a bit pissed off that their little brother was bought a special box of chocolate cereal and they weren't? Being told they can have loads of the more boring cereal is hardly a compensation. Yes I know it's more complex than that but teens can be so sensitive to any perceived unfairness.

Stop buying sweet things and snacks just have proper meals done, if you have any snacks for the small one hide it

I can't understand why your teens need so many snacks. If they are eating a decent amount at mealtimes, they shouldn't be hungry. If they are hungry for snacks, then maybe the main meals are not adequate.
At 17 and 18 they are practically adults - the 18 year old is an adult, so the idea of giving them 'snack boxes' seems just weird to me.
100g of cereal and 7 penguins for a whole week? How is that going to last?

@JensonsAcolyte

Are people really missing the point about the fucking 100g thing?

I made them each a box with the remaining sugary cereal from Sunday’s shop, I measured it out to be petty. DD came downstairs and I explained the concept, that this is what they have for the week but there’s plenty of other cereal, bread etc. and her first reaction was to eat the entire portion.

Then she'll not have any all week and she'll learn. Did you expect her to have 17g a day?

Teenagers eat when bored (a lot) and tend to be lazy so devour food in packets. I'm quite impressed that yours actually cook.

I deal with it by buying basics only and hiding packets of things. I'm beyond caring what anyone thinks, if I leave it out it disappears immediately.

Works for me, they buy their own junk food. And I've given up caring about them pecking at cooking. Surely it'll pass.

As for the meals, I never know how much my DS will eat. Sometimes it will be a huge portion of meat, other times, a huge portion of chips, if he puts them in the oven. Sometimes he's full from the crap I have just bought and will eat less.
So, we get left overs, and sometimes, our meals will be leftovers to clear the fridge. Or I'll make something he doesn't like and he eats the leftovers and I'll eat my food.

He will eat the nice ice cream pot in a couple of goes, but will be nice enough to leave me the second one, if I happen to buy two.

Your main issue with them is the selfishness, but when you have a few siblings, I notice that there is more competition and kids can actually be more selfish.

I think it's pretty selfish to eat a whole box of cereal meant for their younger sibling. I would have sent mine out to buy more as the long walk to the nearest supermarket was a good deterrent, they didn't have to pay.
When mine were hungry teens I used to have a cupboard with bread, pasta, noodles, tins of beans, spaghetti, ravioli and supermarket weetabix and conflakes. There would be eggs, cheese, ham, jam, lots of milk always available and they could have as much as they wanted of these but they needed to write on the list when something was low. Occasionally I'd buy a few packets of plain biscuits or bags of crisps but once they had gone there was no more

I didn't buy many treats but they were given their share and weren't allowed to eat more than their share or else I'd make them fetch and pay for a replacement.
It seemed to keep them fed and me happy anyway.

I’m not trying to be rude but either my writing in incomprehensible or people just can’t read.

It isn’t you. It’s them. A lot of people either struggle with reading comprehension or just cannot comprehend your solution.

Personally, I would do much the same as you have - split the treats and snacks between you as you see fit (Krave for one child, the equivalent favourite for another child) and say this is it until the end of the week. And if they eat, then they eat it. They are old enough to understand. They might have a few days without treats if they eat everything at the beginning of the week. And whilst I understand that, as teenagers, they might say that they are starving and being treat-less will kill them, they will somehow survive to eat their treats the following week.

Both DH and I like chocolate and it drives me nuts if we don’t share it equally (by equally, I mean that he eats more than me, not the other way around which is totally acceptable). To get around this, when I buy chocolate, he gets one bar and I get one bar. We don’t share. Well, I don’t. And I buy fruit and nut for him so there is no way I want to share that.

@FeelinHappy

Might they have been a bit pissed off that their little brother was bought a special box of chocolate cereal and they weren't? Being told they can have loads of the more boring cereal is hardly a compensation. Yes I know it's more complex than that but teens can be so sensitive to any perceived unfairness.

Yep that’s why I wouldn’t ever say they couldn’t have any of it, I have much younger siblings and it was very much them and us at home.

But the whole box was a bit much. And it’s not the first time it’s happened.

Maybe I will just buy and label them a box each next week.