Teenagers and food waste, I am losing my mind.

[JensonsAcolyte]

I don’t know if I’m being really fucking petty about this but I lost my shit yesterday after they went through a box of cereal in six hours.

Kids are 17 and 18. We also have a 9 year old. I buy nice treat food like a mug every week and the older kids just go through it like it’s going out of fashion. I’ve told them not to, obviously, begged and pleaded and shouted and sworn and nothing sinks in.

I’m at the point of thinking about locking the larder.

So on Sunday I bought a box of (overpriced junk) Krave because youngest DS loves it. He usually has a few pieces mixed in with his weetabix or porridge.

By yesterday morning it was gone. DS had got up at gone midnight and had half a box over two bowls, DD then had two bowls for breakfast, before I got up.

This is an ongoing battle. Also taking huge portions of food and not eating it. Dinner last night, DD took a huge pile and then picked out half of it (the aubergine she didn’t like) and left it on the side of her plate.

There’s a large Tupperware full of home made egg fried rice that one of them made on Saturday night while I was out and didn’t eat. I’ll be binning that in a minute.

They both like to cook but cook stupid things like a batch of thirty cheese straws. Or a huge macaroni cheese for one person. I’m constantly running out of milk, cereal, flour, eggs, pasta.

They are supposed to ask for food, which I hate making them do but have to, but then as soon as I’m out or in a meeting or even just in the fucking shower they are like locusts.

Any ideas? Is this par for the course with young adults? They are both skinny fuckers as well which is actually infuriating considering all the shit they eat.

This thread is worrying me as my three teenagers aren't like this. Two of them barely seem to eat this last fortnight.

@SunshineCake

This thread is worrying me as my three teenagers aren't like this. Two of them barely seem to eat this last fortnight.

Don't worry, my son goes through phases like this and is healthy and not at all underweight, slightly the opposite if anything. I honestly don't think some of the descriptions here are anywhere near the average or norm. Yes, most teenagers might have a bowl of cereal or a few slices of toast in the late evening but the kind of gorging described here by some posters is actually quite revolting. Someone described her 2 sons eating 26 eggs in 48 hours, are they Olympic bodybuilders in waiting?

@user1487194234

I buy enough bread,crackers,cheese,fruit,cereal to meet my teens requirements None of them are overweight Would not want to make an issue out of food,particularly at the moment when I understand eating disorders are seriously on the rise

Yes, but some of what is being described here is quite disordered eating. Not anorexia or bullimia (or at least not that we know of, though how some of these young people stay so super skinny with such vast intakes of food is a mystery). There are lots of ways to eat badly and to have a bad relationship with food

I always remember a conversation I had with a very cool NZ mum from our school about children's diets.

She said if you don't have crap in the house then they won't eat it. It took us a good few years to get to this point, but my now six foot, 17yo actually tells me off if I buy treats and crisps that our 14yo DD has asked for.

He typically eats an extra meal a day, at around 5pm, usually a ham and egg sandwich, and our DD will snack on a flatbread and hummus/cream cheese, but that's it.

@JanuaryJonez

I always remember a conversation I had with a very cool NZ mum from our school about children's diets.

She said if you don't have crap in the house then they won't eat it. It took us a good few years to get to this point, but my now six foot, 17yo actually tells me off if I buy treats and crisps that our 14yo DD has asked for.

He typically eats an extra meal a day, at around 5pm, usually a ham and egg sandwich, and our DD will snack on a flatbread and hummus/cream cheese, but that's it.

Exactly. Also, if you don't buy crap YOU don't eat it either which is even better haha

I don’t buy crap either... a quick search of my teenager’s cesspits shows that it’s coming into the house anyway. There are crisp packets, biscuit packets, sweet wrappers, you name it. I wonder if my blanket ban (not that it’s ever been stated, I just don’t buy it unless it’s a special occasion) has caused a weird eating disorder. They hide their stash in their rooms and obviously gorge. I know when DD2 comes out to dinner pale faced and won’t eat, that I will find that she has eaten whole packets of biscuits and/or sharing packets of crisps. The grapes and watermelon she has asked me to buy will literally rot in the fridge and she will ask for spot treatments and complain about being overweight (she’s really not - she’s scrawny, but she hangs around with a couple of diagnosed anorexics, so my concerns are very real.)

Why do you buy a certain cereal for the you vest “because he likes it” but not the older ones? No wonder they are resentful. You’re spoiling the you get one by letting him something of no nutritional value just because he likes the taste but berating the older ones for eating things because they are hungry.

Why not do it the other way round? Take out the youngest one’s 10 g per day that he likes to mix in with his Weetabix (so that’s, what, 4 pillows a day?) and leave the rest for the teens. Why should only the youngest son be spoiled?

@Justilou1

I don’t buy crap either... a quick search of my teenager’s cesspits shows that it’s coming into the house anyway. There are crisp packets, biscuit packets, sweet wrappers, you name it. I wonder if my blanket ban (not that it’s ever been stated, I just don’t buy it unless it’s a special occasion) has caused a weird eating disorder. They hide their stash in their rooms and obviously gorge. I know when DD2 comes out to dinner pale faced and won’t eat, that I will find that she has eaten whole packets of biscuits and/or sharing packets of crisps. The grapes and watermelon she has asked me to buy will literally rot in the fridge and she will ask for spot treatments and complain about being overweight (she’s really not - she’s scrawny, but she hangs around with a couple of diagnosed anorexics, so my concerns are very real.)

Haha sounds just like my girl

My 9 year old has had to have his own draw for food in his bedroom. His brothers will eat krave in two sittings! He also has his own chocolate supply (he likes to make it last) and will put a couple of drinks in there as well.

Have you got a lidl near you, they do krave copies for a fraction of the price.

@speakout

*Operasinger Who’s house is it? Rules need to be made by you, with serious repercussions for breaking them. Don’t even hesitate in locking food away, if that’s what’s needed.*

Sounds a barrel of laughs in your house.

My teens would never have behaved like @JensonsAcolyte. One go with the cattle prod and the fell into line.

Yours sincerely

Aunt Lydia x

Nurture respect and "rules" fall into place.

I don't punish. I don't care for all the drama.

Call a family meeting. Give them notice to allow them to stew a bit and wonder what’s going on. Act serious and be very calm. Prepare what you want to say, even write it down.
They need to know how utterly thoughtless, selfish and childish they’re being.

Don’t raise your voice. Don’t get angry. Let them know it is too serious for that.
However, ask for their opinions and feelings and listen.
Reach an agreement which can be maintained and which you all agree on. Make practical arrangements such as keeping one shelf in the cupboard for their pasta, cereal and labelling their butter/cheese in the fridge; and when it’s gone, it’s gone.
Follow this up with weekly meetings to see how things are going.
I understand why some posters suggest locking up food etc and tbh my initial reaction was anger on your behalf and I’d want to completely lose my rag with them! Teenagers are incredibly hard work. Good luck.

Don't those of you who allow food in bedrooms worry about rats/mice in there with all that dropped food crumbs/half-eaten packets?

I had never heard of Krave until now. It's confectionery not food!

There are zero rules around food in our house, we all eat what ever we like when ever we like although we don't have anything like krave

This is our house, treats and snacks literally last hours. The last Krave box I bought made it to 2 hours....I am.forever buying food

Also why are you treating the youngest with Krave but the older 2 aren't allowed it?

The problem is junk food and anything containing sugar (includes most packaged cereal). These foods are addictive and designed to be, so they fool your satiety senses and you keep eating. Do a food store overhaul and just keep whole foods that you have to cook from scratch—no ultra processed food. Plenty of fruit and veg, whole meal bread, grains, pulses, full fat dairy, fresh meat if you eat it. That way you have to cook a proper meal if you want to eat and the food will be filling and nutritious. Your kids may be skinny at the moment but binging on junk food will eventually catch up with them and lead to health problems and overweight.

SheeshazAZ09 that's pretty much what we started doing almost a decade ago on the advice of a friend, when our DCs we're pretty-teen.

It took a while but I think it really worked. Our DS17 is now really into health and fitness and I assumed it was a generational thing, but he said recently that it was down to us!

DD14 not so much, but she realises that sweets and sugary cereals are rare treats.

@JanuaryJonez Good to hear the confirmation that this has worked for others too. I was never a junk food freak but definitely had a sugar addiction. I had to go cold turkey as I can't allow myself any sugar at all, and it's amazing how all my bad eating habits sorted themselves out--binging on sweet stuff at 4 pm, eating too much at a meal, eating between meals etc. They all just... went away.

Op said her youngest gets a few krave sprinkled onto porridge, a bit different than eating half a box.

I weighed my porridge bowl this morning. 100g oats, 200g milk and a small amount of something sweet (five raspberries for example). So I don't reckon that it is an excessive amount in itself.

I understand that you are trying to ration the treat cereal to 100g/week. But it is entirely your daughter's choice to have this ration in one go and subsist on plain cereal for the rest of the week, that's her choice. Just as long as you've securely padlocked the rest.

To avoid accusations of unfair treatment, it's probably best to include your nine year old in the scheme too.

Trouble is teenagers are bottomless pits. Food would be the absolute last thing I would cut back on. E haven't had a foreign holiday for years but there is always food here. Assuming you are already shopping at Aldi/Lidl/Home Bargains?
And are claiming whatever support is available?
I think the next step would be to send them out to the supermarkets late evening yo see if there are any reductions and to check websites like "Too good togo" and "Olio".

Thank you @theleafandnotthetree.

I agree with the snack boxes, I would also add a box they can buy from, not at shop prices, maybe 50p per item.

As they both like cooking they can cook for the family one day a week each.