Teenagers and food waste, I am losing my mind.

[JensonsAcolyte]

I don’t know if I’m being really fucking petty about this but I lost my shit yesterday after they went through a box of cereal in six hours.

Kids are 17 and 18. We also have a 9 year old. I buy nice treat food like a mug every week and the older kids just go through it like it’s going out of fashion. I’ve told them not to, obviously, begged and pleaded and shouted and sworn and nothing sinks in.

I’m at the point of thinking about locking the larder.

So on Sunday I bought a box of (overpriced junk) Krave because youngest DS loves it. He usually has a few pieces mixed in with his weetabix or porridge.

By yesterday morning it was gone. DS had got up at gone midnight and had half a box over two bowls, DD then had two bowls for breakfast, before I got up.

This is an ongoing battle. Also taking huge portions of food and not eating it. Dinner last night, DD took a huge pile and then picked out half of it (the aubergine she didn’t like) and left it on the side of her plate.

There’s a large Tupperware full of home made egg fried rice that one of them made on Saturday night while I was out and didn’t eat. I’ll be binning that in a minute.

They both like to cook but cook stupid things like a batch of thirty cheese straws. Or a huge macaroni cheese for one person. I’m constantly running out of milk, cereal, flour, eggs, pasta.

They are supposed to ask for food, which I hate making them do but have to, but then as soon as I’m out or in a meeting or even just in the fucking shower they are like locusts.

Any ideas? Is this par for the course with young adults? They are both skinny fuckers as well which is actually infuriating considering all the shit they eat.

This sounds really annoying. I think you're fine with the cereal, they don't need it they just want it and there's no excuse for scarfing the lot.
To read some of the responses you're getting you'd think you were giving them 100g of cereal in total for the week.

Alpen is massively sugary I think.

I was like this as a teen, only thing that worked was labelling food when my food was gone I could go spend my own money on more or eat the family meals and have fruit from the fruit bowl but if I ate anyone elses snacks there were severe consequences (no pocket money, being grounded, I'd be stopped from doing my after school activities which were a saviour for me etc.) so going down the labelling food root might work.

I remember my mum finding it exhausting, and annoying. If its any help though when I went to University I knew how to make my snacks last and not go to the shop between shopping trips. So thats something.

My 13yr old ds loves a box of craves but we have to hide the box in the sotting room as his 20yr old brother just goes through food like no tomorrow.
I also hide trays of eggs in my car now as eldest quite happily has two in the morning and three soft boiled ones at 10pm,after I've cooked a decent dinner.
I hide all my snacks in my bedside table!

I think the cereal rush is because its easy.
Much easier than toast, butter, jam etc, which involves several grueling steps, unwrapping, rewrapping butter, twisting off jam lid... putting in effort. Maybe even involving, crumbs, bread knife etc.
These poor little waifs are exhausted...

Just dont buy them any more of the expensive stuff, buy one box, put it in a transparent lockable box & leave it in full view.& let Dc3 have it when required.
The should get the message🤣

I think with rice and pasta get them to always weigh out the portion if they're making stuff. We started doing that as it we were always cooking too much and wasting.
Eg 90g per person for pasta, 60g per person for rice.

That doesn't help with the snacks but I feel your pain on that one.

Aaaargh I have this. Teenagers aged 13, 15 & 16.

I've tried snack boxes - they raided each others' & WWIII followed.

I've tried not buying treats - but I quite like the occasional treat.

I've tried sweet reason - they completely agree with me, but come 3am munchies it's like they turn into werewolves. On the whole I'd rather wake up to a cereal-less house than the state of the kitchen after someone has made pancakes or a full monty fry up in the small hours...

My solutions, FWIW:

1. stop cooking anything that they don't really like, or at least make it just part of a meal - so if I make a fish curry, which two of us love & the others don't, I'll do a chicken or vegetarian curry as well. If they don't eat dinner they are more likely to raid the kitchen later, so at least try to have them eat with you. Always have bread (they need the carbs) & salad (at least it's a start on their 5 a day) on the table - get them to sort that bit out, at the very least.

Freeze/serve up again all leftovers to minimise waste - I always ask mine if they'd like me to leave whatever it is in the fridge for snacking. I'm fine with them scoffing leftover chicken or pasta or whatever - generally the salad mysteriously disappears into late night sandwiches too these days.

2. provide an absolute fuckton of cheap pasta, noodles, burgers, cereal, fruit & tell them they are welcome to it. If it's cheap it'll irritate you less when it gets hoovered.

3. keep a specific box/cupboard for the posh treat stuff. Tell them that it is off limits because it's for eg their younger brother's nice cereal, which you have to supervise/ration because unlike them he's not old enough to get his own treats. They can eat anything else but that cupboard is not to be touched as that would absolutely be a huge Fuck You. After a few hiccups mine do now Respect The Cupboard!

& yeah, I've tried hiding stuff. All that happened was that they found it, ate it, & pointed out that I hadn't actually told them not to eat eg the kitkats in the spare room wardrobe...

4. send them to do the shopping. Give them the list & the budget. If they bring it in under budget, they can spend the change on treats.

5. ridiculous teenage cookery experiments - I just go with it. If whatever it is isn't eaten in 24 hours, it gets portioned up & frozen for individual microwaving.

It's all absolutely bloody infuriating. I'm slowly winning the war, I think, but 16yo Ds just this minute wandered in announcing his intention of ordering a burger because There Is Literally Nothing To Eat Mum. We did a big shop 2 days ago...

How anout putting uneaten meals in tupperware and adding tht to their snackbox? Plus anything they make

We have a cupboard they are not allowed to touch. It has things like cereal you said and other more expensive treat style foods. Ds1 would devour everything on an evening if he was allowed. It got the point I ended up buying 3 boxs of 'treat' cereal and put their names on them - purely because younger DC take their time and pour moderate bowls. Dc1 rips through his box in 2 days so then he has to have boring house cereal

I can just see their faces tomorrow, when all the GOOD stuff is gone and little bro has his every morning.
I cried this morning over the state of my lounge and kitchen, after mine made pancakes late at night, they want to go shopping today, I don't.
I have decided that until or the boring food is gone, I won't be buying anymore.
We have lots in, just no grab and go stuff.
Oh and the boot has a stash in, but mine never help unload and have no idea how much nice stuff I still have,

@Ohpulltheotherone

No experience of teenagers yet but I would probably

Increase my buying of cheaper variations of things like pasta / noodles / cheese / porridge / biscuits - get the supermarket basics - so if you’d normally buy 2 packs of pasta a week buy 4 but the cheaper ones. I’d give them free reign on this but I would still kick off about food waste - if they make it they eat it. Failure to eat what they make would mean next time they wouldn’t get the biscuits or treats.

Continue to buy nice treats for yourself and DS and the slightly nicer versions of basics for family meals but I would lock these away and they would be told. These are NOT for eating without expressed permission.

Basically give them free reign on the cheaper basics and treats and hide away the youngest treats and nicer bits.
Tell them both WHY you are doing this - that it is both expensive and morally wrong to waste food.
Then tell then that if they can’t respect this approach then you won’t be buying anything more than porridge or plain pasta for them in the future!

This is what I do. Loads of cheapo noodles....no biscuits.

Can’t imagine being mad at your children for eating surely. They require a lot of food at that age and maybe just means you have to go out and stock up more.

Food is there to be eaten, I get it is annoying and costs a lot but that’s kids for you

As long as they not overweight then they must need it.

Kids eh

You are not alone!!

We have phases of DD only eating certain things, I take a few weeks to get the shopping adjusted to take account of that and get enough of the exact right thing and not run out anymore (because it is usually so specific) and she then no longer likes it and I am left with a glut of something DH and I don't eat. She will ask for something specific, growl if anyone else touches it, but will raid "our" things if she is hungry.

She now has a whole shelf in the freezer for her things only, but still spills out with extra icecream, and into the meat drawer. But if we've eaten a veg mix that has been in the regular part for weeks and not been touched, she will notice and growl at us (even if we had needed veg because she had eaten something I was going to use in the family parts of fridge/freezer).

And yes to baking enormous batches of things. I am still in trouble for not yet making orangettes at Christmas (I have the peel) - because every time I bought the chocolate (I replaced it at least 5 times before I gave up!), it got used up in chocolate chip cookies or brownies, in large batches, and none was left for me. Along with all my eggs, butter, most flour etc all disappearing too. I haven't baked in months because Friday afternoon seemed to turn into teen baking time (I'd get out butter to soften to use on Saturday morning...).

I know part is an ASD thing, part an ADHD and serious sportsperson thing, part teenage thing and part anti-lockdown boredom thing - so have tried to keep my cool and just keep cupboards stocked. But the amount of money down the drain, and additional shopping trips for the right things, and extra online orders direct from companies.....at least we can afford it, but I am starting to get beyond frustrated at this point. (And have pointed out on more recent grumbles that the lack of orangettes, that DD actually wants, are her own fault for using all my chocolate - and that choc is no longer available here....).

My brother was same, got loads of cheap noodles too, cheaper cereals, biscuits and he was happy

OP I think in some ways it is just part of them being teens.

At at age I was just glad they weren't smoking/shoplifting/pregnant.

Everything else is just a bonus.

I too think the idea of a snackbox is ludicrous.

THey may like to cook one night a week- for the whole family- any meal, within a given budget.

Also loads of stuff they can fill up on, but no fancy brands, Lidl bagels, peanut butter, coissants, bananas, apples, eggs, some cooked meat ( turkey is cheap and healthy) tomatoes.
I would never buy branded cereal, basics stuff is a fraction of the price and often less sugar.

One last thing- it will pass.
In a few short years they will be gone.

Smile and wave.

Are they overweight? It sounds like they have a very unhealthy amount of snack and high calorie foods. Buy healthy food- bet they'll soon stop raiding the cupboards then!

*Can’t imagine being mad at your children for eating surely. They require a lot of food at that age and maybe just means you have to go out and stock up more.

Food is there to be eaten, I get it is annoying and costs a lot but that’s kids for you

As long as they not overweight then they must need it.*

I agree. Teens need a lot of calories- parents job to provide it.

If they are eating it, they are not wasting it, OP. Teenagers do get hungry, especially if they're still growing, and can eat enormous amounts of food.

The problem I think you have is not so much how much they are eating, but what they are eating. There need to be some things that they just are allowed to eat, as much as they like. Toast and jam, apples, instant noodles, that sort of thing. What they can't be allowed to do is just roam the kitchen like locusts. It's not fair on the rest of the household.

Can you give them a cupboard (each or between them) that is theirs? Anything you put in there is fair game for them. If it runs out before you go shopping again, it's up to them to restock it.

I know it is inconvenient, but I wouldn't buy treats in your main shop. I would use that for staples, meals etc.

Then I'd have a set amount for treats which I'd tell them was the weekly allowance for treats. I'd only buy treats weekly because then they can;t get their hands on a whole months worth of treats. I'd remove my own and the younger child's share of the treats and put them somewhere safe, and tell the older ones that once they'd eaten their allowance there would be no more treats until next week.
If they can;t control themselves then you can;t have a months worth of treats in the house,

I sympathise because I used to be married to someone who was totally selfish about food. He used to eat all the treats - like a whole pack of penguin biscuits, drink a whole carton of orange juice, a whole box of cereal etc over the course of a few hours. His reasoning was 'I like those things, so I'm going to have them'. So I'd have nothing left to put in the children's lunch boxes. He once secretly ate his way through a box of special treats I'd been saving for Christmas - boxes of chocolates, nice crackers etc.

I think if people are this selfish and greedy you have to take firm action - if they behave like children with no impulse control, they get treated like children. Snack boxes are a good idea as long as they can;t raid the younger child's box. If they want toeat all their snacks on day one - that's fine as long as you firmly stick to not getting anything else for the rest of that week.

It's good for them to learn to be considerate of others and of your budget and the fact that your work feeds them. Otherwise they'll grow into selfish adults like my XH. (Sadly you can't divorce your kids - but you probably have a better chance of retraining them !)

"But I'd add this - that if they make enough egg fried rice (or anything else) to feed a regiment then they eat that for breakfast etc (is nice heated up wit a bit of soy sauce) until it is gone."

Isn't it dangerous to keep re-heating rice?

Punishment for eating the Kraves 🤦🏻‍♀️😩

punishing your children for eating food, your joking right ?

@Wowyouareboring

Punishment for eating the Kraves 🤦🏻‍♀️😩

punishing your children for eating food, your joking right ?

Even reading the OP's posts, just hers, would have helped you understand what the thread was about.

Isn't it dangerous to keep re-heating rice?

Yes, but you don't need to keep reheating it. Just reheat the bit you want to eat each day. The rest stays in the fridge.

Wrong to scoff things that are clearly meant for someone else & infuriating to fill up on junk & then not eat the actual meal.

I have always allowed DS to help himself to the cheap fillers but he knows not to stuff himself just before a meal. He also knows to ask if he has his eye on something like a plate of leftovers I might have plans for, or something that is clearly an ingredient, like raw meat.

It doesn’t sound to me about eating craves but more about not respecting that other people in the household might want some and not to eat the entire box in 2 days.