Teenagers and food waste, I am losing my mind.

[JensonsAcolyte]

I don’t know if I’m being really fucking petty about this but I lost my shit yesterday after they went through a box of cereal in six hours.

Kids are 17 and 18. We also have a 9 year old. I buy nice treat food like a mug every week and the older kids just go through it like it’s going out of fashion. I’ve told them not to, obviously, begged and pleaded and shouted and sworn and nothing sinks in.

I’m at the point of thinking about locking the larder.

So on Sunday I bought a box of (overpriced junk) Krave because youngest DS loves it. He usually has a few pieces mixed in with his weetabix or porridge.

By yesterday morning it was gone. DS had got up at gone midnight and had half a box over two bowls, DD then had two bowls for breakfast, before I got up.

This is an ongoing battle. Also taking huge portions of food and not eating it. Dinner last night, DD took a huge pile and then picked out half of it (the aubergine she didn’t like) and left it on the side of her plate.

There’s a large Tupperware full of home made egg fried rice that one of them made on Saturday night while I was out and didn’t eat. I’ll be binning that in a minute.

They both like to cook but cook stupid things like a batch of thirty cheese straws. Or a huge macaroni cheese for one person. I’m constantly running out of milk, cereal, flour, eggs, pasta.

They are supposed to ask for food, which I hate making them do but have to, but then as soon as I’m out or in a meeting or even just in the fucking shower they are like locusts.

Any ideas? Is this par for the course with young adults? They are both skinny fuckers as well which is actually infuriating considering all the shit they eat.

Could you gather a collection of 5 ingredient, or 3 ingredient, quick to prepare meals? Maybe that would help them manage better choices?

Right, I have made snack boxes. They now have 100g of sugary cereal and 7 Penguins for the week.

I’ve actually got the big sacks of pasta and rice this week and 15 eggs so they can go wild with that if they like. I’ve told them both if they are truly hungry they can have bread and butter (hell, they can even have jam or peanut butter if they like, just not half a family sized jar of Nutella).

I cook large quantities of nutritious dinner every day which often goes uneaten by them as they ‘don’t like it’ or they’ve stuffed themselves on shit all day.

I’ve given the egg fried rice to the dogs.

I’ve just looked at the Tesco receipt from Sunday and I spent more on snack and treat foods than I did on six bottles of wine which smacks down their (rude) argument about me wasting money on that.

Could you not freeze the stuff they make and don't eat. I would have frozen the egg fried rice for a meal later in the week or used it in the dinner last night. Macaroni cheese is freezable too. I would buy an amount you are comfortable with them eating and then hide any thing else away. I have similar aged kids 19,16 and 11 and they also have to ask before taking stuff but I make sure I hide away anything that is for specific meals or my treats etc so if they do help themselves all is not lost!

Good idea re freezing stuff but the trouble is they always say they’re going to eat it and then it moulders.

I’ve read a million of these posts OP and it’s always the exact same...

OP: Teenager/ers eat anything nice I buy immediately. Leaving empty boxes, wasting food and generally consuming everything in their path like selfish thoughtless food tornados.

MN: well then stop buying anything nice. Exist solely on beige crap boring staples and things they don’t like.

OP: But they eat EVERYTHING, they will eat an entire loaf of bread in a day! Plus I want some treats.

You obviously have 2 choices here OP, lock it away or teach them to be considerate/controlled! Personally I would go for locking as having 2 bowls of your kid brothers special cereal and finishing the box before he wakes up sounds so awfully selfish I think they’re beyond hope.

Free access to bread, basic boring cereal and lots of fruit (just gonna have to buy loads) but EVERYTHING even remotely ‘nice’ gets locked away.

The only thing I will say is ‘wasting food’ doesn’t really apply to the aubergine thing, you clearly made a family meal which contained an ingredient your DD really doesn’t like. She was never going to eat it but was still hungry and entitled to a meal as much as the rest of you. She probably took a bigger portion because she knew she’d have to pick it out. Maybe don’t load up family meals with things you know they won’t eat if it bothers you that much. Your other points are all valid though.

Oh good grief DD has just had the entire 100g cereal.

It’s 11am!

This may be a long battle.

Re the freezing, can't you just freeze it anyway and when they ask where it is explain how the defrost button on the microwave works?

Don't buy junk? Or if you do buy a small amount eg enough ice cream for the family for Saturday night, buy it on Saturday eat it on Saturday

@InsanelyPregnantAndSore, thank you.

I have to say that it was news to me she doesn’t like aubergine as she happily tucked into the veg moussaka last week...

I really do try to cater for all their various food whims.

@JensonsAcolyte

As much as I would love to make them do that, neither has any money at the moment. DD is about to start work (apprenticeship) and DS is in college and has rinsed all his picket money this month. Which is another bone of contention and a whole other thread.

You can still make them accompany you.

It will be a long battle but a hungry one without many treats for them if they eat everything day one. Just make sure anything that isn't theirs is kept away from their greedy mitts.

100g of cereal and 7 penguins is absolutely nothing for a hungry teenager.

Agree with others - milk, bread and pasta etc are not expensive. Just buy more and as long as they eat a vaguely balanced diet and are not putting on weight it doesn't really matter?

Do you online shop? Maybe give them a budget each for snack food per week?

The cereal thing is awful, but I also am not really comfortable with the concept of one person having "their" yoghurt, biscuits etc. Surely unless one person is on a restricted diet iets all to be shared?

Serve their portions yourself if they take too much and then give them more as they finish it if needed.

I’d have served that rice to them for part of their next meal. Freezing it is also a good option.

Now the cereal has gone your DD can buy herself more. If she steals from the others there really should be consequences.

Finally maybe use a measuring jug or similar to show them what a portion looks like? Half a mug of rice is a biggish portion, ditto porridge. X amount of pasta is enough for one person.

Good luck!

I sympathise op, as I have similar issues here.

I only have experience of teen girls, and they seem to go through a fussy stage and I deliberately don't focus too much on that, because I don't want it to become a bone of contention or a fixation. So I ignore it and let them get on with it. (My theory is that it could be a protective thing, like it is with toddlers, when they are biologically programmed to conquer new pastures - in normal times that is!).

About eating all the snack food though, are your 17 and 18 year ols still supposed to ask you for food? Are still very much in charge of the kitchen and fridge? If so, how about making each of them cook for the family once a week and then it becomes more of a collective responsibility more than an individual pursuit?

Tbh though, I think all of this is pretty standard teen behaviour. As I said, we have exactly the same issues in our house. [Mine are stick thin too!]. I've started adding in a fourth meal of the day at about 10 pm at night (such a joy under lockdown) such as pancakes or frittata stuffed with veg, or egg fried rice, because they all seem to be starving again then, and I'd rather them eat proper food than lots of sugary stuff, although they eat that too. I also try and have lots of easily accessible plates of food in fridge like chilli and things like mash and slices of gammon and salad so they can make a decent snack when I'm out. If you do it artfully, so that it is accessible with the least effort possible you can kind of entice them to the right shelf and get them to eat what you want them to ifyswim rather than that evening's dinner ingredients

Having said all of that though, it's all become a huge PITA under lockdown. I never thought I would be spending so much time cooking for my DC at this late stage of parenthood and I'm thoroughly sick of it! But it seems to be something they seem to need right now so right after exams I am determined that they take on more of the shopping, cooking and clearing up.

Sorry to bore the pants off everyone with this rambling post but teens and food are a major preoccupation of mine ATM as cooking for them is all I seem to do!

@Wobblybobblyboo

100g of cereal and 7 penguins is absolutely nothing for a hungry teenager.

Agree with others - milk, bread and pasta etc are not expensive. Just buy more and as long as they eat a vaguely balanced diet and are not putting on weight it doesn't really matter?

Do you online shop? Maybe give them a budget each for snack food per week?

The cereal thing is awful, but I also am not really comfortable with the concept of one person having "their" yoghurt, biscuits etc. Surely unless one person is on a restricted diet iets all to be shared?

I know it’s nothing but it’s a punishment for the week for eating all the Krave.

And I agree, I hate the concept of separate food but I need to drill it into them that we are a family of five and they can’t just eat all the food.

I remember being ravenous in my teens, I could eat whole mountains and still be hungry. However it isn't practical to prep food stocks for something and find it gone when you need it.
So I think there should be food in the house for them to hoover up but there should also be consequences for touching stuff they shouldn't. Going to the shops to replace is still a consequence even if it's your money they use cos it's a half they have to see to it instead of you. Losing your rag in whatever way is irrelevant possibly interesting fireworks if you don't back it up with anything. Get some teeth.

@Haberdasheryhen thank you for your post, and all the other parents of teens who get it.

It helps to know they’re reasonably normal!

You're shocked your teen ate 100g of cereal? Really?

As for the rice, why did you chuck it away? It should keep a few days in the fridge.
Or freeze, yes. They or you can take it out and heat it up when they feel hungry.

And I wouldn't give my child food with 50% of an ingredient they didn't like and expect them to eat it all.

They need to be more careful with food, for sure, and respect that other people also have the right to eat things they like, and to have it at home, but you also need to change your attitude.

Triffid1

I have begged, reasoned, ranted, shouted, tried just not buying things which punishes me as well, and nothing works. As soon as anything nice comes in the house he’ll sweep in and hoover it up.

Surely you need actual consequences - whatever is appropriate in your house? Allowance slashed? removal of game time? No dessert with rest of family?

I am the rest of the family.

I have tried it all, literally everything. I don’t need to list what or justify myself, I just have, and I have been largely successful at stopping him scoffing my things. What he does with his own is up to him, as long as he leaves mine alone. It might not work for you but it’s the best way I’ve found, and I really can’t be arsed to ruin my life and his mithering about Kitkats.

100g of cereal is a tiny amount!!!! That's around 2 portions and yes I'd expect an older teen to consume 2 portions in one go.

Are they overweight or healthy weight OP?

No excuses for the selfishness but does sound pretty stingy of you! I assume this isnt a budgeting problem?

@Lweji

You're shocked your teen ate 100g of cereal? Really?

As for the rice, why did you chuck it away? It should keep a few days in the fridge.
Or freeze, yes. They or you can take it out and heat it up when they feel hungry.

And I wouldn't give my child food with 50% of an ingredient they didn't like and expect them to eat it all.

They need to be more careful with food, for sure, and respect that other people also have the right to eat things they like, and to have it at home, but you also need to change your attitude.

The 100g that I had just clearly told her was her sugary cereal for the week? Yeah, pretty shocked that she went for the whole thing on day one.

Rice had been mouldering in the fridge since Saturday.

She ate aubergine in the last meal I cooked with it.

@OddsNSodsBitsNBobs

100g of cereal is a tiny amount!!!! That's around 2 portions and yes I'd expect an older teen to consume 2 portions in one go.

Are they overweight or healthy weight OP?

No excuses for the selfishness but does sound pretty stingy of you! I assume this isnt a budgeting problem?

They had already eaten a 500g box of sugary shit between two of them, in one sitting each.

The 100g was the ration I had given them each for the rest of this week.

I had this with three teenagers who were constantly hungry. They had a box each of their treats (crisps, chocolate favourite cereal) and when it was gone it was gone. They could swap with a sibling but not take anything without permission.

Hungry = cheap pizzas, bread, jacket potatoes, beans, cheese, fruit.

Bread and butter with every meal.

If they cook it they eat it and clean up afterwards.

I used to meal plan so they knew what ingredients were needed.

Shopping list so that they wrote down what had been used or it didn't get replaced.

Hope this helps.

I used to eat 10 roast potatoes as a teen
In a photo with my first car I was a bean pole!

Couldn't countenance that now.

Is there a slight chance, OP, that you are not adjusting to the amount that your DC need to eat?

A lot of diet advice is suitable for "middle aged" parents like us, but totally unsuitable to growing kids.

Mind you, DD is 14, and (unlike me) totally unfussed by chocolate. She doesn't get that from me.

I guess I could have been like your DC - I remember being told off bollocked for eating all the cooking chocolate once.

It sounds normal for my teen. He goes through the foods he likes in a few days, then will eat less the following days.

It depends on how the aubergine was presented. It is different if it makes up half the plate, in large chunks, or a smaller percentage and in smaller pieces. Speaking as someone who doesn't like aubergine, but it could be something else.
I would have talked to her when I noticed she was putting it to the side and find a solution to use it, maybe in a soup, for example.