When do we get to meet the new boyfriend?

[Alijane46]

Not really an AIBU but more a general question, when is it reasonable to meet your daughters new man?

DD is nearly 21 and I’m so happy that after a really shit 18 months (for many different reason ) she has happily fallen for a guy she works with and they have been dating for just over a month.

The relationship has taken off really quickly, she seems so happy with him and it sounds as though he is with her. She stays over at his each weekend (I know it’s against covid before anyone says anything, both work in hospital, both had covid and both double vaccinated) and it looks as though they have gotten serious very quickly even though they were just going to take things real slow.

This isn’t her first serious relationship but it’s definitely the one she seems happiest with and I can see her falling head over heels in love with him. This appears to be very different to her previous relationships.

He is 7 years older than her which isn’t a problem for her or me, he sounds lovely and they seem very well suited.

When can I expect to meet him? What’s the normal timescale for meet the parents? I’ve said we’d like to meet him soon as they seem to be getting along so well. I think she’s keen for us to meet him but is really scared of jinxing something that is going really well.

I’d just like to meet the man who appears to have stollen my daughters heart!

My friend suggested when they’ve been dating four or five months 🤷🏻‍♀️But that seems like too long to wait!

My daughter and I have a very close relationship and I’m just keen to see if new man measures up!

Any views or timescale of when you introduced your parents to your new significant other?

3-6 months I’d say! There are no real rules though.

I got together with my DH when he was 22, I was 25. He’d already met my family as we were friends, I met his after about three weeks as it was his birthday. I felt like that was ages 🙈 but I’m a bit of a keen bean. Realistically, over three months shows a bit of staying power, and after 6 I’d start saying ‘why haven’t I met them yet?’

I thought the term ‘fuckboy’ was just a guy who messed you around? Don’t understand the pearl clutching on here

I'm never going to introduce a partner to my mum again.

Never met the previous couple of fuckboys she dated, never felt any need or interest in meeting them!

This is so desperately wanting to sound cool it’s cringeworthy.

stillcoughing

So I first asked why do people say nearly 21 when they’re actually 20, why not say genuine age of 20 - genuine question ... as I said, my dd is 18 next month - I describe her as 17 not nearly 18 ... because her age is actually 17. There’s was a whole other thread about this not long back.

I second mentioned it in response to a comment of a long post about her being 21 - she’s not, she’s 20.

I lastly mentioned it when a poster thought she was 18 - she’d misread the post. I told her she’s 20 not 18.

I wonder why you’re so bothered by me to be honest. My query is about a genuine point.

I don’t see how I’m any more ‘bothered’ than you, but hey ho.

That’s good then, now we can get back to the thread about a 20 year old ....

Who’s just as much an adult as a 21 year-old

"My daughter and I have a very close relationship and I’m just keen to see if new man measures up!"

I am curious to know what you mean by "measures up"?

That he "measures up" to her description of him or that he "measures up" to your criteria for a suitable boyfriend?

And what is the relevance of "My daughter and I have a very close relationship..." in the context of your meeting him?

Does your daughter know that you discuss her relationships on public forums? Unless you changed some of the circumstances, there is enough detail in the 2018 thread, I would have thought, for her (or a friend of hers) to identify her if they were to stumble across the 2018 thread.

Would you have been comfortable with your mother discussing your relationships on a forum when you were 18 and 20?

Who’s just as much an adult as a 21 year-old .... absolutely. That was never my issue. I honestly don’t get why people round up ages instead of just saying the actual age. That’s all.

I feel in this case the age has been rounded up to lessen an already large age gap - that’s just my opinion, I could be totally wrong.

I hope the young lady is happy, healthy and safe - she sounds a bit vulnerable to me. Again, just my interpretation of the thread.

They will be too busy shagging each other senseless to be bothered over meeting the parents. Give it time! Geezo, it's only been a month.

@imalmostthere

After reading this and your previous thread all concerning your DDs relationships - you absolutely need to back off. Far off. You cannot continue to get this involved with her love life, it's really overbearing.

My aunt is like this with both my cousins when they were dating (both girls) Totally overbearing. She takes over.