To think thst this is too early a bedtime for a 3.7 yo?

[Bbq1]

I know somebody who is putting their 3.7 yr old to bed at 6pm. Child is waking at 5am. I'm not surprised as my own ds went to bed around 6.45 at almost 4. Aibu to think this is a very early bedtime and the likely cause of the early waking?

@thebillyotea

My early riser was my 3rd. My others were not much older so it didn’t interrupt their activities, when it did, then either their dad or I took them and the other stayed with the youngest. We both worked, he was a postie so was home by 4, I worked school hours and was usually home by 4.30
We could keep her up later, but she would still be up at 5 so it was best for everyone if she went to bed early.

My 3 1/2 yo goes to bed about 7:30 and wakes about 6:30. The only difference to bedtime I can imagine is if lo has just recently dropped a nap and is adjusting.

But dd has been going to bed after 7 since she dropped her nap, and 6:30 is quite early enough for me. Had plenty of 5 something when she was younger.

I bet the 6pm bedtime lot bath their children every night too!

My 3 year old is 8pm sometimes later.
If she goes to bed any earlier she wakes by 11pm. Then many times in the night.. For hugs or random things. Up before 7am

If we wait till 8ish. She sleeps till 7.30am /8sm
If she wakes before 7am she's just a grump all day and really hard work

Wow this is really interesting to read all your experiences. Can someone explain to me why all your children wake up at 5am? Why 5am not 4am or why not 6am? What happens at 5am? Does it get light in the room? Is there more noise? I guess I'm one of the lucky ones (touching wood right now) where I put my dc to bed between 8.30-9pm and he will wake up at 8am the next day but then he wakes up for bf every 3 hours! I can adjust his sleep and nap times and can be flexible which is useful when I used to travel to different time zones with him pre covid . It must be exhausting for you though. I'm just really really curious.

Mine wasn’t 5am when he was waking quite early. It was 4.45 for a while, 5.15 for a while, it varied.

When ds1 was 3yr7mo he went to bed at 7pm and slept til 7am.

@ladygindiva

And BTW not everyone works 9 to 5 and some of us have partners capable of putting the kids to bed. Some weird assumptions going on there. A toddler going to bed at 6 doesn't necessarily dictate or disturb things for anyone else.

True. Even when DH worked shifts years ago, the eldest always went to bed at 6pm. DS was on the go from the moment of waking at around that age. I was the one who put him to bed🤷

DH used to leave the house at 6.40pm to start his night shift locally. We never did much in those early days. Just enjoyed evenings to ourselves as a couple when DS slept.

@Mustfly

I find it completely bizarre these early bedtimes. None of my business of course but still...weird! My three year old goes up at 8 and we read to him for half an hour, he goes straight to sleep at 8.30. Wakes every day between 7.30 and 8. I think it would be awful in the summer to put him down that early and miss those lovely late summer evenings playing in the garden or walking to the park after tea! My nine year old goes to sleep at 10, up at 8, my 12 year old at 10.30, up at 6.30 each day. I like having them around in the evenings and I certainly like the civilised mornings!

Having my DC wake at 8am wouldn't work in my household as all are breakfasted before this time. I have 4 DC and breakfasts are often done and dusted by 7am as we leave just after 8am to get youngest ones into nursery. Eldest has to be out house to catch school bus at 8am!! Even when it's not a nursery/school day we are up early to start our day walking out and about with the dog. I couldn't justify lying around until 8am. Horses for courses I suppose 🤷

I think just cram as much into day light hours as we can. Had years of waking up early we don't really think much of it now. But absolutely love my evenings in peace when it's dark outside and you can't do much.

It would be too early for me. 6pm bed must be about 4.30pm dinner!

We eat 6-7pm, aim for 8pm ish bedtime. 11 month old.

In summer where we live it’s pretty hot daytime also, so 5-8pm is prime time to head outside when slightly cooler. In winter it’s freezing, but still 5-8pm is prime time for family time after work, people over, non rushed bath.

Noise isn’t allowed outside 10pm-8am where I live, noise like lawnmowers, no washing machine allowed on if house attached/ flat, no work tools. So getting up at 5am would be a super quiet 3hrs with no productivity.

I think 8-9pm is standard bedtime around here from what I can see and hear.

@blowinahoolie - but it’s not light at 5am for half the year. I remember standing at bus stop for school in freezing winters at 7.45am and the sun was just coming up.

I am a 60s child.
Traditional parents, 3 children, Dad worked long hours, stay at home Mum.
Pre school we were all put to bed after Magic Roundabout 6.00 / 6.15ish ?
I suspect this was convenience for Mum, plus Dad insisted all children were in bed before he got home after a hard days work.
I still to go to bed early.
Children are adaptable.

Blimey, if we didn't have to leave the house before 8am, my kids wouldn't be up until 7:30!

Ha, my 5 year old goes to bed at 6pm and is asleep by 6:30, as does my 2.5 year old. They sleep for 12 hours (and my youngest still has an hour and a half nap at lunchtime too!). They used to wake a bit earlier and changing bedtimes to later did nothing to stop this, it just made them tired and grumpy and the last hour of the day was utterly hellish. So I put bedtime back to 6/6:30.

Newsflash, all children are different!

I expect mine will get later as they get older, which is fine too. If the 5 year old wasn't at school I think she would be later already but she started Reception in September and she is absolutely wiped out by it. She is totally ready for bed by 6 (she has ASD so perhaps she finds school more exhausting than a NT child). I am lucky she sleeps so well.

@Powersout

I bet the 6pm bedtime lot bath their children every night too!

Definitely not.

Newsflash, all children are different!

Absolutely.

So different that DC1 goes to bed earlier than DC2 because DC1 STILL wakes at 6am where as DC2 will sleep until she wants, usually around 7.

Newsflash, all children are different!

They are, but they all live in the same society with the same rules about noise, with the same daylight, with the same opening hours and so on.

If your toddler wakes up at 5, and nothing opens until 10am (or 9am rarely), that's an awful amount of hours to fill in and keeping them quiet indoors.

Meanwhile that's a lot of hours wasted in the afternoon and evening when you have to rush home early, have diner in the middle of the afternoon and put them in their bedroom so early.

Again, if parents are happier that way, it's entirely up to them, no one cares, it just sounds like making your life so much harder!

And unlike MN where parents are home by 4 or 5, and the entire family can have tea at 5, most people are working and the kids at school, clubs or nursery at this time!

@Bbq1 thats what this site seems to be about now , people jump in
My suggestion would be to try a later bedtime for maybe a week see if it helps.
But my son at that age and younger went to 7am ( luckily) he used to do 7 to 7 but if went to bed at 11 it would still be 7
But no harm on trying later bedtime, maybe moving back 10/15 mins at first so gradual

My 3 year old sleeps 7-6 now but from the ages of 1-3.5 he would wake up around 5am every day, regardless of if he went to be at 6 or 9pm. If he went later he would just be miserable all day. His big sister was the same.

My ex next door neighbour used to do this with her two children who were about three and five at the time.

They used to wake around 5am every single day and fuck they were noisy.

They literally dictated our waking up time every day for around three years.

It wasn't for me to pass opinion on and we just had to put up with it.

Thankfully they moved .

Most people aren’t choosing to have a child waking at 5am, much as the “I put mine to bed at 8.30pm and they wake up at 8am” folk would like to think. My nearly 3yo has never fallen asleep before 7.30pm, usually 8pm, but it didn’t stop a long phase of 4.45-5.30am wake ups. Thankfully it is later now as he has got older.

@thebillyotea

Newsflash, all children are different!

They are, but they all live in the same society with the same rules about noise, with the same daylight, with the same opening hours and so on.

If your toddler wakes up at 5, and nothing opens until 10am (or 9am rarely), that's an awful amount of hours to fill in and keeping them quiet indoors.

Meanwhile that's a lot of hours wasted in the afternoon and evening when you have to rush home early, have diner in the middle of the afternoon and put them in their bedroom so early.

Again, if parents are happier that way, it's entirely up to them, no one cares, it just sounds like making your life so much harder!

And unlike MN where parents are home by 4 or 5, and the entire family can have tea at 5, most people are working and the kids at school, clubs or nursery at this time!

I don't know why you seem to think all parents have a choice? A lot of people on this thread have said they've tried the later bedtimes but it doesn't make a difference to what time their children wake up. I can't fathom why people think I want to be up at 5am every day. As if I'm apparently happier that way? Or it's my "bizarre snobbery" to use your words? And to another poster no a 6pm bedtime doesn't equate to a bath every night .

I think if you live with neighbours attached it’s pretty unacceptable to start the day regularly at 5am with noise that small children make.
Fair enough if they wake at 5am and won’t sleep, but it’s not like you should then all get up at 5am and start making the most your day of making noise.
If my baby wakes at 5am, he gets a very boring 2hrs of us trying to get him back to sleep, or reading in bed with him. Def doesn’t get breakfast started and washing on, hoover out, him running about, showers etc.

I know a friend whose children used to wake early, and she would have made batches of homemade play dough or muffins with them at 5/6am... they would all be out of ideas and knackered by 3pm

Caspianberg I think that’s pretty unusual. Most people take your approach I am sure