To think thst this is too early a bedtime for a 3.7 yo?

[Bbq1]

I know somebody who is putting their 3.7 yr old to bed at 6pm. Child is waking at 5am. I'm not surprised as my own ds went to bed around 6.45 at almost 4. Aibu to think this is a very early bedtime and the likely cause of the early waking?

@fedup51

I put my 4 year old to bed between 5-6pm and he gets up between 7-8am - no waking in the night

Harsh. That’s way too early. But it’s none of my damn business. Like it’s none of the OP’s 😂

My 3 and 5yr old go to bed at 7 and wake anywhere between 6 and 8am. No daytime naps. (3yr old generally sleeps longer than 5yr old). The sleep council suggests 11-13hours sleep for those ages.

I would suggest a slightly later bedtime and see if it helps but 6pm - 5am is in the right amount.

@UnbeatenMum it works well for us. Both my boys have the system rigged up in their bedrooms - my husband did it using plastic star shaped containers, LED lights that are timer controlled and set them up through Alexa (which they both have in their bedrooms) so they are timed to glow yellow at 7am and glow blue from 6pm-7am.

@thebillyotea

You only have kids who need to go to bed at 6, and wake up at 5, when they are your first or your only.

Can you imagine a family where the older kids are banned from any after school club or afternoon activity because the toddler needs to be in bed at 6?

Funnily enough, when you work or have kids, the youngest adapt very well.

It's a choice. Makes no sense to me, but if people are happy to be up at 5am, who cares.

With respect, that's bullshit. My one and only early riser was my 3rd dc and a twin.

@Bbq1

Oh well, never mind. It's many years since my ds was 3 so, in an attempt to help someone close and their lo who I care about a great deal, I thought I would see what an average bedtime is for a 3 year is. However, I have repeatedly been nastily told it's none of my business when I just wanted to have an idea of an average time to offer them some advice and support. Oh well. Thanks for the posters who genuinely offered helpful advice.

I wasn't rude to you and had no hang ups about explaining my own situation as I have walked this path many times 😂 hopefully you can report back to the person that they aren't alone in putting their LO down at 6pm at aged 3. More common than you realise 🙂

God, my dd is programmed to wake up at 5.30/5.45am whether she went to Bed at the time SHE ASKED (4.50 on a nursery day has been known), her normal bed time 6/6.30 or later.

I feel awful putting her to bed so early but it's what she needs and she never, never argues. She frequently dictates her bed time and will ask to go to bed (if it's before 6. 30) last week she asked to go at 5.30, I popped downstairs as had forgotten something and came back up to find her out for the count. This isn't uncommon.

Don't judge others on something so daft as bed time - we all know when our child Is tired and has had enough. Sadly the bedtime doesn't reflect the wake up time in my house!

@Bbq1

And yeah, 3.7 meant 3 years and 7 months. I see it gave some people lots of laughs for some bizarre reason...whatever you find hilarious...

I knew what you meant 👍

She'll also still nap for 2-3 hours sometimes then go to bed at 6.30-7!

Shes three and a half and I got incredibly lucky on the sleep front

Mine always woke at 5 regardless of the time they went to bed, so we settled for early bed and more evening for us!

I think that's quite early. When my son was 3 bedtime was 7pm and he generally woke around 7am. No naps during the day.

Blimey.

If OP ever comes back to this thread I am happy to offer my own experience for what it’s worth.

I am literally just sitting down having wrestled my 3 yr 10 mo to bed. Her time in bed makes little difference to how long she sleeps in the morning so I try not to worry about it too much. If she consistently got up at 5am I would 100% make her bedtime later as I would hate that! Neither of my children have settled to bed earlier than 7:30. They are definite night owls. The benefit being that now the eldest at 8 is a lover of looooong lies.

If your friend is struggling and morning wakings is an issue then of course it is worth considering.

I used to shout ‘bedtime’ at 6pm when I heard the neighbours theme tune, my Mother always likes to tell me this. I slept 6-6 until I was about 5, not scarred by it at all.

My DC went to bed at 7 at that age but I think anything between 6 and 8 is reasonable for a 3 year old personally.

My 4 yr old goes between 6 and 7 and wakes at 6. 6pm is not too early if they are tired.

I was never able to get mine to bed at that time, not at any stage of their lives!

Hi OP, I was in a similar situation with my son, he is 4 next month. We spent the last 6m putting him to bed at 6:30 and having him wake at 5/5:30am. We now put him to bed at 7:30 and he sleeps until 6:30am. So it worked for us. It took us ages to try it because often the advice is that early wakings are due to over tiredness. In fact we tried putting him to bed earlier for a while! But then when the clocks changed we changed our clocks but left his timings alone, and 7:30-6:30am wake up is where we're at now. I know that's a bit different as we haven't kept him up really. But my point is 11hrs sleep is just what he does and is fine and normal. Hope that helps!

ladygindiva

With respect, that's bullshit. My one and only early riser was my 3rd dc and a twin.

how is that bullshit? Did you seriously stop your other kids from having any activity late afternoon and left the youngest dictate the routine of the entire household?

Did you refuse a job because you had to come home early to put one to bed at 6pm?

because that was my point, most people simply don't do that! Kids have to adapt.

Er no, you confidently stated that only first or only children were the early rising type. That's what was bullshit.

And BTW not everyone works 9 to 5 and some of us have partners capable of putting the kids to bed. Some weird assumptions going on there. A toddler going to bed at 6 doesn't necessarily dictate or disturb things for anyone else.

@ladygindiva

And BTW not everyone works 9 to 5 and some of us have partners capable of putting the kids to bed. Some weird assumptions going on there. A toddler going to bed at 6 doesn't necessarily dictate or disturb things for anyone else.

This.

Goodness the earliest mine went to bed was 645pm below 2 years old and steadily moved out. The 6 year old now goes to bed at 830pm and gets up 630/7am.

@thebillyotea

You only have kids who need to go to bed at 6, and wake up at 5, when they are your first or your only.

Can you imagine a family where the older kids are banned from any after school club or afternoon activity because the toddler needs to be in bed at 6?

Funnily enough, when you work or have kids, the youngest adapt very well.

It's a choice. Makes no sense to me, but if people are happy to be up at 5am, who cares.

There's your message requoted, the bullshit was in the first sentence, read it back.

Thanks @blowinahoolie and @Passmethecrisps
I wasn't judging, just trying to be kind to my relative, for reasons I can't go into here but so many posters were quick to claim I was being judgemental and interfering. In my family offering advice to issues is seen as supportive not 'none of your business'. More fool me for posting it in Aibu instead of parenting!

I find it completely bizarre these early bedtimes. None of my business of course but still...weird! My three year old goes up at 8 and we read to him for half an hour, he goes straight to sleep at 8.30. Wakes every day between 7.30 and 8. I think it would be awful in the summer to put him down that early and miss those lovely late summer evenings playing in the garden or walking to the park after tea! My nine year old goes to sleep at 10, up at 8, my 12 year old at 10.30, up at 6.30 each day. I like having them around in the evenings and I certainly like the civilised mornings!

I suppose the difference is

“Is 6pm too early for a 3 ish year old”

Versus

“Do people feel keeping a 3ish year old up later helps with early wakings”

Your question was entirely clear but AIBU is not always a reasonable place.

I never needed to use one but I have heard many good things about Gro Clocks for helping transition children to different schedules.

I don’t think it’s too early at all. If DC wakes up that early anyway 5am then at least they can hope she gets 11 hours.

Pointless putting her to bed at 8 then her being grouchy and tired all day....