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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think calling in sick for no sleep is a good enough reason?

518 replies

Rachelinaa · 11/04/2021 03:16

I work in an office that's been open through most of lockdown due to admin we do being essential.
Recently one of my workmates has been calling in sick a lot because he hasn't been sleeping well as he's got a baby at home that won't sleep. I was shocked to hear other people at work saying they thought it was a ridiculous reason not to come to work and we've all had to come to work tired. But I thought they'd be able to see the difference between being tired and not sleeping at all. His baby has colic and the mum also works.
I've called in sick before for being too tired when my baby was a newborn and didn't sleep. I wondered what everyone else's thoughts on this was? I personally don't want someone driving to work if they're too tired to focus and I can't think that the boss would want someone in more likely to make mistakes.

OP posts:
Daleksatemyshed · 11/04/2021 08:44

We recently had redundancies at my office job, everyone was scored by skills, attitute and sick leave record, each was a third of your score. We were all amazed but it seems that too many sick days makes you very vunerable now. I take a days holiday now unless I'm really ill

Barneybear11 · 11/04/2021 08:45

I sort of see your point but how many days can he reasonably take off sick for tiredness. Where do you draw the line? What if other staff start saying they’re tired for other reasons?
I wouldn’t take a day off sick for being tired, I went back to work with a 3 month old so it was a regular thing, but I don’t get sick pay.

SimonJT · 11/04/2021 08:45

@Biker47

Should be using their holiday time, not calling in sick.
So they should be able to see 28 days into the future? It would be a cool power, but sadly not ones humans have.
PattyPan · 11/04/2021 08:48

I think it’s reasonable to call in sick if you are not fit for work that day - and overtiredness can certainly make you incapable of concentration etc. I fully agree that I wouldn’t want someone driving to work who hasn’t slept either.

echt · 11/04/2021 08:51

Not RTFT but why does the original person have to name their reason for being sick?

Where I work you ring in sick and no-one's business.

AColdDuncanGoodhew · 11/04/2021 08:54

I’m NHS, 12hr shifts in ICU. I had twins who were loaded with awful colds. Both my husband and I were up with them all day, got them to sleep and I finally slept 10pm-midnight before we were back up with them again. Stupidly I went to work as I had had a run of sickness (chest infection, norovirus) and I was worried about a sickness meeting.

Was promptly sent straight back home (and subsequently was signed off sick for 8 weeks)

I wasn’t safe to drive but felt I had to go in, I’d never do it again. One of my kids sleeps wonderfully now, the other still sleeps like absolute shit but thankfully its easier to take it in turns with my husband.

OverTheRubicon · 11/04/2021 08:55

@Daleksatemyshed

We recently had redundancies at my office job, everyone was scored by skills, attitute and sick leave record, each was a third of your score. We were all amazed but it seems that too many sick days makes you very vunerable now. I take a days holiday now unless I'm really ill
Is that even legal? Seems like a straight out case of discrimination, given that many people with higher sickness absence rates will have an underlying disability. Shock

You shouldn't have to use annual leave for sickness, people fought really hard for that right.

Mayra1367 · 11/04/2021 08:55

As someone suggested sleep in shifts . He will have many more sleepless nights ahead of him with a child. Can’t keep taking time off because of disrupted sleep, otherwise no parents would ever be at work.

rc22 · 11/04/2021 08:55

I've done it once or twice in my 20 year career. I have a long commute to work on rural roads and there are no public transport options. If I'm so tired that I feel unfit to drive I ring in sick.

fightingSmiths · 11/04/2021 09:01

Is that even legal? Seems like a straight out case of discrimination, given that many people with higher sickness absence rates will have an underlying disability.

if someone is covered by the Equality Act than this is usually taken into consideration and the disablity related sickness should not count.

therocinante · 11/04/2021 09:02

@Biker47

Should be using their holiday time, not calling in sick.
Glad you're not my boss.

Also, most places you have to book holiday in advance. How are you supposed to predict when you're going to be unfit to work?

TheMoth · 11/04/2021 09:03

I'd have needed 6 years off for this! Pretty sure there were lots of days I shouldn't have been driving anywhere when the kids were very young.

Tinydinosaur · 11/04/2021 09:04

As a one off, fine, "often" absolutely not and I'd fire someone doing that. Especially as your sick days are paid.

Lettuceforlunch · 11/04/2021 09:04

My boss did this, but mainly because she was lazy. Always tended to be a Thursday night when she didn’t sleep well, or when the big bosses were away. A younger colleague joined the team and she caught on to this. Sometimes they’d both ring in ‘tired’. It was a joke! The more conscientious members of the team (including those with small children, neither of the two mentioned had children) managed to make it into work fine, tired after broken nights and so on with little ones. It was extremely galling!

aliensprig · 11/04/2021 09:04

@Embracingthechaos

The UK is ridiculous about sickness in the work place. It's like it's a competition to see who can run themselves the most ragged, and the winner is admired as being so dedicated. It's unhealthy and sad.

He is an adult and he decides for himself whether or not he is fit for work that day. It's pathetic to sit around gossiping about the validity of his reason. If he is off sick enough that the company policy dictates some kind of intervention then that is between him and his line manager.

I'm in Australia and over here when you call in sick you don't give the details of your illness. Your manager is not allowed to ask. Most companies offer a certain amount of sick days that you are expected to use. It's a brilliant system.

This with bells on.

We're all a bunch of exhausted martyrs.

RedcurrantPuff · 11/04/2021 09:05

He is YABU and a lazy skiver. Being tired is not the same as being sick.

Proudboomer · 11/04/2021 09:06

My work just went through redundancy procedure and one of the things looked at was sick leave record and lateness record.
Each sickness record counted as one point and the incident of sickness could be one single day or months off to accrue that point.
Lateness had to be a recorded incident of lateness not just a general “ Joe on days is always late”
A lot of people started to worry when their number of odd days started to add up. That Monday they took off because they had a busy weekend, the Friday because the week had been busy and they were tired and the odd days just because.

SpikeTheDragon · 11/04/2021 09:07

Last year my OH maxed out his sick leave, his compassionate leave and most of his annual leave due to lack of sleep; partly due to his insomnia, partly due to our kids, at three and five years old, still getting up numerous times a night and me being unable to settle them both at the same time. I was so paranoid he'd get in trouble at work but he never did. To be honest he wasn't fit to drive let alone do his job.

When I went back to work after maternity leave I was in the opposite camp and forced myself into work after months and months of broken nights. It was incredibly stupid. I was no use to man nor beast. Then one day while driving home I hallucinated a car coming out of a junction, did an emergency stop and nearly caused a car crash. I resigned the next day. I mean there were other reasons such as missing my son and struggling to juggle work and childcare. But the near crash was the final straw. Sometimes people underestimate the effects of lack of sleep.

Icancelledthecheque · 11/04/2021 09:10

YABU. He’s not sick, he’s tired!

I have had insomnia for years and I’ve never had a day off because I was tired. I’ve been exhausted and had some difficult work days but I wasn’t sick so didn’t need a day off.

I’ve seen plenty of exhausted parents who manage to struggle through. One of my colleagues had his newborn awake with him until 1am so his wife could rest and he slept the 1-6 “shift” every day and still managed to work every day.

He’s being precious.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 11/04/2021 09:11

An ill child yes but just normal lack of sleep no. The parent on maternity leave (and it can be shared now) should be doing the night feeds and the person working can sleep elsewhere in the house if need be.

RedcurrantPuff · 11/04/2021 09:11

I bet if he didn’t get paid he’d not be “too sick” to come to work. It’s piss takers like him that lead to good companies changing their sick pay policies as they are fed up with shirkers.

8dpwoah · 11/04/2021 09:12

I suppose the test is will he still be doing it when his absence management procedure kicks in- if so, it's likely to be significant. If he suddenly gets it together when sickness is likely to have a negative impact on him, there's your answer.

Curious about the mum phoning in sick as well if baby is going enough to be truly colicky. Also curious about you calling in sick with a newborn yourself, are you not in UK? Unusual for mums to be back at work with newborns here.

One2Four · 11/04/2021 09:14

I think I was fortunate that the worst stage had passed before I returned to work and it was only short periods of children's illness that causes problems when we were both working and we slept in shifts.

However, people's work will be affected by ongoing lack of sleep for many reasons - childcare, caring responsibilities, chronic illness, menopause and so much more. The reality is that over time chronic sleep deprivation will affect a person's ability to work safety &/or effectively, and individual circumstances vary, so it's in an organisation's interest to be proactive in support - both the sickness absence and flexible working policies should kick in to explore solutions?

ImAlrightThanx · 11/04/2021 09:14

I have gone to work on no sleep having been up 24+ hours. However, I know that I can manage- having had severe insomnia most of my life, I am used to it.
Everybody should be able to judge their own ability to work. Coworker is old enough to know if they will be able to work safely and function.

Mummadeze · 11/04/2021 09:15

It sounds flakey to me. Sorry.