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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think calling in sick for no sleep is a good enough reason?

518 replies

Rachelinaa · 11/04/2021 03:16

I work in an office that's been open through most of lockdown due to admin we do being essential.
Recently one of my workmates has been calling in sick a lot because he hasn't been sleeping well as he's got a baby at home that won't sleep. I was shocked to hear other people at work saying they thought it was a ridiculous reason not to come to work and we've all had to come to work tired. But I thought they'd be able to see the difference between being tired and not sleeping at all. His baby has colic and the mum also works.
I've called in sick before for being too tired when my baby was a newborn and didn't sleep. I wondered what everyone else's thoughts on this was? I personally don't want someone driving to work if they're too tired to focus and I can't think that the boss would want someone in more likely to make mistakes.

OP posts:
Trixie78 · 12/04/2021 22:27

He's not sick though is he, he's tired. This should be recorded as unpaid leave rather than sick leave, which is for when you're, you know, sick!

Howshouldibehave · 12/04/2021 22:28

Tell that to people with conditions like ME and some asthmatics who are tired because their breathing is poor for months at a time, mine is terrible during hay fever season and I get exhausted, anti histamines make it even worse, heart conditions make made my late mother very tired and she couldn't drive as a result.

But that is exactly what the pp was saying. Heart conditions and asthma etc are illnesses which can cause tiredness.

MajesticWhine · 12/04/2021 22:30

Someone who reports to me called in sick when they hadn't slept. I was not impressed at all. But I did see that "insomnia" was one of the reasons for sickness in the list, so I allowed it.

WouldBeGood · 12/04/2021 22:35

I only get paid if I work, despite my sleep difficulties. That focuses my mind on going to work.

Cameleongirl · 12/04/2021 22:35

@Trixie78. He’s choosing not to take the parental leave that he’s entitled to and that’s what’s bugging me.

I’m currently living in the US and the idea of shared parental leave is only just becoming normal here- it rather annoys me to hear that people aren’t using it in the UK. People campaigned for these rights so use them!

wildchild554 · 12/04/2021 22:50

@Cameleongirl your right it is, my signed has been getting sick note for it for months and doctor wouldnt give it to him if it wasnt needed

wildchild554 · 12/04/2021 22:50

@friend

wildchild554 · 12/04/2021 22:54

another point here is he's called in sick and we know why but no infromation on if its paid leave or what it is actually being recorded as. We only have half a story.

Snaketime · 12/04/2021 23:08

I havent RTFT but I voted YABU. I work in a shop, doing lots of heavy lifting etc, I have been doing insane hours during lockdown due to us being essential and I have had to go into work with only a couple of hours sleep or no sleep at all so have several of my colleagues and then still pick up the slack for staff who have called in sick for this very reason.

cherish123 · 13/04/2021 00:07

What if everyone called in sick when they had a bad night's sleep? People would be off all the time. My DH has interrupted sleep most nights for no particular reason - just a light sleeper - he nevercalls in sick. This snowflake needs to grow up. He's not 12 years old!

cherish123 · 13/04/2021 00:10

@linsey2581 I would say the same if it was a woman. You can't play hookie from work because you haven't slept.

Mum2b43 · 13/04/2021 00:54

Well I am lying here with insomnia and have to be up for work in 5 hours working in a nursery for a 9 hour shift. Wish I could call in sick because it’s going to take a lot of coffee to to Mary Effin Poppins. I want to cry.

Egghead68 · 13/04/2021 00:58

I’m menopausal and have terrible insomnia. I can’t imagine going off sick because I haven’t slept.

timeisnotaline · 13/04/2021 01:16

@Darbs76

No, as a manager I wouldn’t be impressed if someone called in sick as their baby hadn’t slept. I returned to work when my ds2 was 1 and he still woke 2-3 times a night. It was exhausting but I tried not to let that impact my job.
Woke 2-3 times a night is NOTHING like the sleep deprivation others are discussing here. When I think of how tired I was (on mat leave, no way could I have gone to work and been effective) I see red seeing people compare it to being woken 2-3 times a night and dismissing it because they’ve never experienced it. Absolute judgey fucker.
timeisnotaline · 13/04/2021 01:19

@WouldBeGood

Exactly as I said. Illnesses can cause tiredness. You’ve just described that.

Tiredness is not an illness.

Tiredness can cause illness. Tiredness can cause complete mental breakdown. (People who say tiredness is not an illness probably don’t believe in mental health issues so not sure there’s any point despite the carefully studied and documented effects.) tiredness is as bad as being drunk for driving and operating things.
PurpleOkapi · 13/04/2021 01:44

People keep conflating two different issues.

Does being sleep-deprived sometimes make it unwise to go to work? Yes, particularly if one is a surgeon or truck driver or something. This is true regardless of why one is sleep-deprived.

Does being incapacitated to the point where it's unwise to go to work automatically make a person deserving of sick leave or excused absences? No, not when the condition is self-inflicted or lifestyle-related rather than caused by an illness or injury. This would include things like being hung over or having stayed up all night to play video games. It also includes having a newborn and being unwilling to make appropriate care arrangements.

knitonedropone · 13/04/2021 05:40

@Howshouldibehave

Tell that to people with conditions like ME and some asthmatics who are tired because their breathing is poor for months at a time, mine is terrible during hay fever season and I get exhausted, anti histamines make it even worse, heart conditions make made my late mother very tired and she couldn't drive as a result.

But that is exactly what the pp was saying. Heart conditions and asthma etc are illnesses which can cause tiredness.

Tiredness therefore being a symptom of their illness. It's beyond tiredness, it can be bone crushing exhaustion. You have to have experienced it to understand.
SpnBaby1967 · 13/04/2021 06:00

I'd guess if you're not used to lack of sleep, the sudden loss of it having a baby causes can make you feel quite unwell but it's something he needs to get used to not take time off sick for.

I know DH once took a day off when our reflux son had us up all night. But at that time he was a response driver in the Police so a really bad idea to do it on zero sleep. But that was an unusually bad night.

Myself, I'm an insomniac. If I bag 6 hours that's like the best thing in the world, usually I get anywhere from zero to 4 hours. I havent taken a day off yet. My boss did say if i dont manage to fall asleep till 5am i can just start work later rather than be at the desk by 9am but i have kids to get up for school anyway so wouldnt have made any difference.

I think your colleague needs to suck it up. He could have many months, or even years, of no sleep ahead.

ufucoffee · 13/04/2021 07:10

I think being tired isn't a reason not to work. I went for years with very, very little sleep but staying off work wouldn't even have entered my mind. He can still do his job when exhausted, being off work isn't going to help. He needs to get used to it.

ThornAmongstRoses · 13/04/2021 07:30

I’ve rang in sick before due to extreme tiredness if I’ve had no sleep.

I was never stupid enough though to say it was because I was tired Grin

‘Headaches’ are your friend Grin

UniversitySerf · 13/04/2021 09:53

I agree with PurpleOkapi

Someone who is in a state from extreme tiredness and could crash their car, walk in to incoming traffic etc is in no fit state to go about daily tasks safely.

But should it be classed as sick leave? No it shouldn’t. If that person had a medical condition that caused extreme tiredness then that is sick leave because it is caused by an illness.
Basically it boils down to should he be paid? he should be able take unpaid leave.

Trixie78 · 13/04/2021 10:44

[quote Cameleongirl]@Trixie78. He’s choosing not to take the parental leave that he’s entitled to and that’s what’s bugging me.

I’m currently living in the US and the idea of shared parental leave is only just becoming normal here- it rather annoys me to hear that people aren’t using it in the UK. People campaigned for these rights so use them![/quote]
Tbf although the right is there it's not easy to exercise it, the rules are really complicated and most HR teams don't really understand the process let alone the employees. On paper it's a great policy in practice it's not worth the (considerable amount) of paper it's written on.

GeronimoHate · 13/04/2021 11:09

@PurpleOkapi

People keep conflating two different issues.

Does being sleep-deprived sometimes make it unwise to go to work? Yes, particularly if one is a surgeon or truck driver or something. This is true regardless of why one is sleep-deprived.

Does being incapacitated to the point where it's unwise to go to work automatically make a person deserving of sick leave or excused absences? No, not when the condition is self-inflicted or lifestyle-related rather than caused by an illness or injury. This would include things like being hung over or having stayed up all night to play video games. It also includes having a newborn and being unwilling to make appropriate care arrangements.

This!
Mumkins42 · 13/04/2021 12:06

Severe lack of sleep for whatever reason is awful. It affects some more than others for many reasons. I can totally see why the colleague is struggling with work. I can also completely see why colleagues would feel it was a cop out too. No easy answers on this one. It's tough going these days for parents both working and getting hardly any sleep. It's also tough say if someone had severe insomnia or a chronic illness and had to work on minimal sleep

firebrimstone · 13/04/2021 12:22

No way. Tiredness is not a sickness.
Maybe if he'd been up all night being unwell and needed time to catch up but not because of a baby. Massively taking the piss.