Do your parents / PIL give you money?

[Merryoldgoat]

I’m not sure what I’m asking really but here goes.

My DH and I are comfortably off, good professional jobs and a nice lifestyle. We’re not loaded but we live in SW London and have been largely unaffected by the pandemic.

I don’t have parents anymore and my upbringing was dysfunctional so I’m not sure how normal parents behave.

DH’s parents keep giving us money - fairly large sums. We never ask for it and don’t ‘need’ it but it’s usually for something as a gift. Eg. We needed a new front door. We were saving for it but they said they’d like to buy it. Then they thought the porch needed doing (it did) so offered to pay for that too.

Now MIL wants to talk to me and I know she’s going to offer to pay for a new patio as I was talking to her about getting it priced up and saving for it.

PIL are very nice, kind and VERY easygoing people. They don’t try to control us or anything. I think they just want to spread their good fortune a bit but it feels odd somehow?

I’m 43 - surely parents stop this stuff if you’re old and solvent as we are?

So YABU - parents like to do this if they can - just enjoy it.

YANBU - it’s unusual and no parents I know fund their solvent adults home improvements so you should stop taking the money

My DPs very kindly give us money and they can’t really afford it!! We ask them not to but they buy a lot for our DS (not expensive things but outfits, toy cards etc) and they have leant us some money for a house deposit, as have ILs (both loans though, not gifts as neither set are that well off and we wouldn’t want to be given such big sums).

My DPs paid for my DSis garden to be done and for her new patio doors, and my DF often decorates for her.

My ILs give less monetarily but are generous with presents and would help us out if we needed it. My DGM was the same with my DPs as they were hard up and she was quite comfortable.

There’s no normal or right and wrong, it’s different in every family. There’s no shame in not doing this if you can’t afford it.

*toy cars that should read