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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Don’t want to go to a family meet up

134 replies

Sadnangry · 08/04/2021 19:57

So situation- my cousin’s wife has just died he is distraught as they have been together since both 14, in late 50s now. He has asked to meet up to do a bit of a family remembrance, me, my husband, my sister, her husband and my brother and wife. He will also be bringing his two grown up children, neither live with him. I don’t feel I can say no without causing a huge family rift but feel sick at the thought of it. Everyone bar me will have been vaccinated but I’m so stressed about it - what would you do, would you go?

OP posts:
MysteriousAffairAtStyles · 08/04/2021 19:58

I would not hesitate to go.

minmooch · 08/04/2021 20:01

I would go in a heartbeat to support a family member at such a terrible time. Keep your distance if you are worried, no hugging.

katy1213 · 08/04/2021 20:01

It would be kind to go - and there is every chance you will survive!

Flowerlane · 08/04/2021 20:11

I wouldn’t hesitate in going, the chance of you catching anything is very very low, and if you did the survival rate is very very high! Grin

Flowers sorry for your loss

ivfbeenbusy · 08/04/2021 20:17

Unless you are clinically extremely vulnerable you've really got little excuse not to go. Even people who were advised to shield have had their restrictions lifted. 🤷‍♀️

Pottedpalm · 08/04/2021 20:21

I would go

Womencanlift · 08/04/2021 20:22

As long as you social distance what is the concern? It is not a standard get together it is about supporting a family member in their grief. I wouldn’t hesitate to go

Oblomov21 · 08/04/2021 20:22

Eh? On what grounds would you NOT go? Hmm

Aquamarine1029 · 08/04/2021 20:23

Wear a mask if it makes you feel better. I think you're being very silly.

ItsAllBlahBlahBlah · 08/04/2021 20:24

I don't see that you have a choice really, as others have said the restrictions have lifted. You don't have to hug anyone. But your presence or lack of will be noted

TheMayQueen · 08/04/2021 20:35

If everyone else has been vaccinated you're pretty well protected.

writingsonthewall · 08/04/2021 20:38

I literally despair

GoToSleepBabyPlease · 08/04/2021 20:40

What is worrying you about this, OP?

MargosKaftan · 08/04/2021 20:47

If everyone else in the group have been vaccinated, then the fear isn't of catching covid. Is it because it's over 6 people and against the rules?

In this situation id put whats best for my family first. Its about as low risk as you can get and he obviously needs family.

Thebig3 · 08/04/2021 20:48

I think its so sad that people have been made to feel that situations like this are "dangerous" and they shouldn't go and support a family member that is grieving. As you haven't been vaccinated yet I would hazard a guess that you are under 50 and have no underlying health conditions and you haven't been shielding?? You are therefore at such a low risk of becoming ill if you did catch covid. Please remember that the vast majority of people will be absolutely fine if they do get it.

I wouldnt even think about it I would be there I'm a heartbeat.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 08/04/2021 20:52

What are you so worried about?

Supporting him? Saying the wrong thing?

If you're worried about COVID, wear masks and keep 2m apart.... don't use it as an excuse not to support the poor bloke.

Herewegoagain84 · 08/04/2021 20:53

I completely agree with everyone on the thread re there is very little reason for you not to be there. But I have to add that it is not correct to say that because people have been vaccinated the OP is not at risk. Vaccinated people can still spread covid, even if they themselves are protected.

GrumpyHoonMain · 08/04/2021 20:55

Wear a Mask and keep your distance. Job done.

Original poster
Sadnangry · 08/04/2021 20:59

Just to confirm they want to meet indoors in my house, it’s illegal but on top of that I’m worried about catching COVID. I’m 49 with some underlying conditions but none that fit the criteria for a vaccine.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sadnangry · 08/04/2021 21:00

That it’s illegal and I could end up with a fine or even worse in hospital

OP posts:
DontBeRidiculous · 08/04/2021 21:00

I don't doubt you'd be fine, but I also feel strongly that there shouldn't be an insistence that you attend, if you're uncomfortable with it. I gather you must be close to this cousin? Maybe the closest thing he has to siblings? That does make things difficult.

FatAnneTheDealer · 08/04/2021 21:01

Although it is theoretically possible for vaccinated people to spread the virus, all recent research suggests that the probability of this is very low. Vaccines significantly reduce both infection and transmission as well as serious disease.

The people who keep saying that the vaccine only protects the vaccinated person don’t understand how vaccines work.

Remmy123 · 08/04/2021 21:02

It's not illegal and anyway it's an exceptional circumstance - not everyone dies with covid despite for the media tell you !!

DontBeRidiculous · 08/04/2021 21:04

It doesn't sound like a particularly large gathering... Is there any reason why they're expecting you to host? I'd have a hard time with that. Why can't it can't be outdoors?

Mum2jenny · 08/04/2021 21:04

Meet in the garden. If there’s only 6 ppl, it’s currently permitted.

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