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AIBU?

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Original poster

Friends Kids Ruined couch and cushions

413 replies

CatherineJHealy · 08/04/2021 12:04

My friend came over the other day with their child (as they wanted to leave their place for a while due to estate agents coming over). It was all fine, but the child dropped food all over my white rug. (I said we should eat in the kitchen/dining area - but the child shouted at his father that he wanted to eat on the couch in my living room!) Dropping the food over the white rug wasn’t really a problem as it wasn’t ‘wet’ food. The parents then gave him an Easter egg that they pulled out from their bag. The child had it in his hands and was almost sucking on it etc… basically the chocolate had melted down/all over his hands. He then wiped his hands over my couch and on my suede cushions. I’ve not been able to remove the stains. At the time I used tissues - handed them to the parents and child - and in fairness; they told their child to use the tissues whilst he was eating food - but obviously it didn’t work. Am I being precious?! The suede cushion is ruined and the chocolate is now ‘embedded’ into the couch. I’ve tried to clean twice now and the fibres of the couch are coming loose. I don’t want to keep hacking away at it. Do I say anything to the parents or just leave it? Please don’t be cruel - just genuinely annoyed - but know it’s not the end of the world. Thing is; they are good friends so I don’t want to fall out with them.

OP posts:
Cogfarm · 08/04/2021 18:24

Could the scenario have been this:

  • parents been persuaded to visit OP despite restrictions
  • parents felt uncomfortable about indoor visit but compelled to comply
  • child not used to seeing other people and refusing to comply with hosts requests and is distressed
  • child feels comfortable in lounge with parent - and parent comforts child with a bit of chocolate
  • parents feels completely awful about not noticing child’s hand as they chat to assertive OP
  • parent tries to remove mark as best they can, and leave house ASAP
  • patent vows never to visit house again
MusicWithRocksIn1t · 08/04/2021 18:25

Children make mess, you expect it.
That being said I have a 2yo and 4yo and would never give them chocolate on someone else's sofa unless they said it was ok and it was definitely wipe clean. Even then I'd be hovering with babywipes and have moved anything none winnable.well out of shot.

Speak to your friends and ask them if they saw their child wipe their hands all over the cushion and sofa and see what they say.

BrumBoo · 08/04/2021 18:28

[quote Cogfarm]@BrumBoo what’s more important - to be mindful and respectful to a child’s environment - or to be mindful and respectful to an adult’s environment?[/quote]
In an adults house that you're visiting? Is this a serious question?

KirstenBlest · 08/04/2021 18:33

There's a difference between a baby throwing up and a child eating chocolate though, isn't there.

Lollypop4 · 08/04/2021 18:37

Id be very cross, let them know and send them bill for cleaning.
But I wouldnt allow my child to eat anywhere but the dining table/ eating area at soneones house

SandAndSea · 08/04/2021 18:39

How about sending a quick text:

"I'm having trouble getting the chocolate off the sofa. Any ideas?"

DarkMatterA2Z · 08/04/2021 18:41

People that don't have children are entitled to prioritise their light coloured furnishings over other people's kids.

People with children are entitled to limit the time they spend having to police their children around light coloured furnishings by not visiting those friends or suggesting meeting outside in a neutral place.

But if people with children visit friends who have 'adult' houses, they do have to ensure no damage is done. Partly because as parents they should appreciate the destruction their little darlings can cause, whereas hapless innocents like the OP may not realise this until it is too late.

thebillyotea · 08/04/2021 18:46

The depressing thing is that I can totally picture that thread.

so do I...

serin · 08/04/2021 18:49

There is no way I'd have given mine chocolate anywhere, other than in the bath, at that age.

BronwenFrideswide · 08/04/2021 18:51

@Cogfarm

Could the scenario have been this:
  • parents been persuaded to visit OP despite restrictions
  • parents felt uncomfortable about indoor visit but compelled to comply
  • child not used to seeing other people and refusing to comply with hosts requests and is distressed
  • child feels comfortable in lounge with parent - and parent comforts child with a bit of chocolate
  • parents feels completely awful about not noticing child’s hand as they chat to assertive OP
  • parent tries to remove mark as best they can, and leave house ASAP
  • patent vows never to visit house again
I've seen some re-writing of opening posts but this takes top prize.

If you had read the post Cogfarm you will have noted that the OP was doing her friends a favour by having them in her house whilst they had a viewing at theirs.

Matters not one jot if the child doesn't want to comply with the host's requests, it's not the choice of the child and the child's parents should be adult and parent enough to ensure the child complied with the wishes of their host.

I hope the parent and their child don't visit the OP again seeing as the parents are completely incapable of parenting their child and are equally as responsible for the damage caused due to their actions and inactions.

As for your other fanciful points, you really need to take a reality check. Just because you are a guest in someone's house does not give you carte blanche to disregard reasonable requests and cause damage.

BronwenFrideswide · 08/04/2021 18:58

@Cogfarm

The children are currently chucking cushions around in the lounge and screaming with laughter. To me - this is FAR more important than exquisite cushions?? You only get to be a child once - the opportunity to become civilised and adultish comes later.
Do what you like in your own house and with your own stuff but have the respect and common decency not to feel entitled to do it other people's houses.
midsomermurderess · 08/04/2021 19:02

I think life word be easier if we were more like the Dutch (see an earlier post), less of our British shilly-shallying and passive aggression. It would cut the traffic here by about a quarter though, none of those 'what does it mean' and what to say to my appalling neighbour posts.

JessicaaRabbit · 08/04/2021 19:03

I was once carrying a roast dinner through my friends house towards the table, slipped and slapped the plate and roast dinner up against the wall. I had the roast dinner positioned firmly on the wall. Gravy had already been applied which then slowly started to leak away from the sides of the plate and down the wall.

I didn't know what else to do bar hold the roast dinner up against the wall and stare at everyone.

I paid for them to have the wall redecorated and they saw the funny side thank god.

My 4yo on the other hand is very considerate of other peoples furnishings.

Greenmarmalade · 08/04/2021 19:04
  • How about sending a quick text:

"I'm having trouble getting the chocolate off the sofa. Any ideas?"*

No!! So passive aggressive

Greenmarmalade · 08/04/2021 19:06

It’s not easy for parents with young children who have had a year of not visiting. Cut her some slack, it was accidental and it’s definitely possible to sort it out.

Naunet · 08/04/2021 19:08

It’s not easy for parents with young children who have had a year of not visiting. Cut her some slack, it was accidental and it’s definitely possible to sort it out

It’s not easy to consider other people and not give your child a chocolate egg whilst sat on someone else’s sofa?!! And do you think it’s been a breeze for people who don’t have children? Or do they not matter? Unbelievable.

Cogfarm · 08/04/2021 19:24

Children smearing chocolate is a beautiful thing. The complete sensory overload of a dose of choc completely outweighs your sofa. Every time.

starfishmummy · 08/04/2021 19:28

Wow. Professional clean and send them the bill!

Parents should have never overriden your eat in the dining area nor given him the chocolate. Very lazy parenting on their part.

(And yes I am a parent!)

KirstenBlest · 08/04/2021 19:29

@Cogfarm, do one.

Cogfarm · 08/04/2021 19:30

@KirstenBlest do two

BronwenFrideswide · 08/04/2021 19:30

@Cogfarm

Children smearing chocolate is a beautiful thing. The complete sensory overload of a dose of choc completely outweighs your sofa. Every time.
Could you be any more pathetic?
abstractprojection · 08/04/2021 19:35

I’m very curious as to what the parents reaction was, it’s seem like they just got up and left leaving chocolate smeared all over your sofa and cushions. Did they not offer to clean it and then see that it can’t. Or did they offer and you said not to worry about it

Also it’s not an accident. Dropping the initial dry food on the rug was, then giving the kid a chocolate egg wasn’t

HalzTangz · 08/04/2021 19:36

Try vanish carpet cleaner foam version. Spray on, leave dry, hoover off. I find this gets rid of any stains on my stuff (carpets and furniture)

Pixxie7 · 08/04/2021 19:39

I would be mortified if my kids ruined someone’s property. A reasonable person would at the very least offer to have it professionally cleaned. I am not sure what you can do now though.

billy1966 · 08/04/2021 19:40

My reality is truly so different from so many.

1..parents I have known over the past 25 years wouldn't mostly do this.

2.. For the couple that might have been a bit lax, despite registering my lovely, clearly lovely home, I never hesitated to say "table or out in the garden". End of and always worked.

There is NO way in hell any visiting child would be allowed to do something that my children didn't do.

This is MY children's home.
No bloody visitor is more important.

I just cant imagine saying not saying No.

But I really feel for the OP.

Flowers