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To not change my name

104 replies

FourDecades · 08/04/2021 08:01

XH and l have been divorced nearly 3 years. Him and OW are now getting married.

I kept my married name as l wanted to be the same as my DC and l really couldn't be doing with the hassle of changing everything.

However a friend has questioned my decision and is now making me have doubts that l should stay as Mrs XX.

I am not bothered at all about him re-marrying but it does feel a bit....odd... that the OW will now also be Mrs XX.

I don't want to revert back to my maiden name as l don't like it and it feels a lifetime ago that l was that name. I can't double barrel as my married surname is already a DB.

I was feeling fine until my friend told me l was "wrong" to keep it. Now l feel really unsettled about it all.

My DC are boy's and so unlikely to change their own surname as they age.

Just wondering if anyone else was in this situation and how they felt about their XH new wife having the same name as them and if it caused any issues.

I'm trying to figure out why I'm now feeling so unsettled about it... and equally what makes me so reluctant to change my surname.

OP posts:
FourDecades · 09/04/2021 00:58

My DC are teenagers. The eldest has ASD and doesn't take change well.

It's now official as her name has been changed on FB.... does feel odd seeing it in B&W.... just wish my friend hadn't put the niggles in my head!

However, fact remains that l will be keeping my name as it is. I own it, l most definitely am over my XH and my wedding ring came off the day he left.

In another month's time I'm sure this won't even be niggling me anymore.

Fantastic bunch of vipers Easter Smile

OP posts:
WisnaeMe · 09/04/2021 01:06

Your friend sounds like a cheeky cow, do what suits you and your kids OP 🌸

RickiTarr · 09/04/2021 15:39

Glad you decided to ignore her OP. Smile

WitchesBritchesPumpkinPants · 09/04/2021 15:47


I'm glad you've decided to keep it. Having children with the same surname would mean I wouldn't change it, unless they were happy to (& he agreed to it) but with a child with SEN who would struggle with it, then I'd keep it. If she didn't like it, he could change his to hers. Not My Problem. These things happen when you're the OW 🤷🏻‍♀️

She's game too. Third time lucky? Creating a vacancy! etc etc.

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