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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What would you say if partner made you this offer

497 replies

Thenanny23 · 07/04/2021 22:23

Put yourself in this scenario-

Childless married couple, your OH has invited a (single sex) group of friends to stay at your house to celebrate a friends birthday.

They suggest that you might want to not be in the house over the weekend as it may change the dynamic of the gathering and may be noisy/irritating for you.

They offer to book and pay for you to stay in an Air B&B in the nearest city centre for 2 nights.

Would you be offended by the suggestion?

OP posts:
CirqueDeMorgue · 08/04/2021 08:32

Enjoy your sex party/sex workers/strippers OP. 😂

Parkerwhereareyou · 08/04/2021 08:32

I’d leave the buggers to it!!! 😀

Covert19 · 08/04/2021 08:35

Depends on the overall relationship - if you feel that your partner spending time with a same-sex group undermines your relationship, then you probably need to have a good think about why that is.

Depends on how you were asked - respectfully asked if you would mind making space for the gathering is OK; being made to feel you're in the way and not welcome in your own home is not.

EffOffCovid · 08/04/2021 08:37

I'd be very cautious as it sounds like there OW on the scene. The whole thing sounds odd. Why are you having to be turfed out?

ZeroFuchsGiven · 08/04/2021 08:41

@safariboot

A man has far less reason to worry about his wife having her female friends round, than if the sexes are reversed, I think.
What? Confused
ReadyPlayerGo · 08/04/2021 08:42

I’d be thinking of which luxury hotel to book (bugger the self-catered Airbnb suggestion!)

Chewbecca · 08/04/2021 08:44

Fine by me.

I’m trying to work out how to get DH out of the house, possibly to the
ILs so that I can have 5 GFs round for a night & to stay. We might squeal and dance to the small hours, he wouldn’t get much sleep here.

ZeroFuchsGiven · 08/04/2021 08:44

@EffOffCovid

I'd be very cautious as it sounds like there OW on the scene. The whole thing sounds odd. Why are you having to be turfed out?
Even without the ops update these replies are astonishing!
SchrodingersImmigrant · 08/04/2021 08:45

@EffOffCovid

I'd be very cautious as it sounds like there OW on the scene. The whole thing sounds odd. Why are you having to be turfed out?
😂😂😂

I would be cautious before posting on threads without reading them

Mrgrinch · 08/04/2021 08:46

No way would I allow this. It's my home not a fucking nightclub. Be prepared for your usually lovely friends to treat your house like shit, because they will.

Tooshytoshine · 08/04/2021 08:46

I would go on a mini break with a friend and take a contribution for the hotels. It sound brilliant.

My partner would hate being ousted from the house though as they are less social and would feel hurt. They would just sit in a b&b, eating a tesco meal deal and licking their wounds. They would make it as depressing as possible for themselves then be a nightmare afterwards.

But after nearly twenty years together they would (rightly) see our friends as joint friends. And the dynamic is that I would organise something and they would come, they would be hurt to be excluded.

waterlego · 08/04/2021 08:48

I'd be very cautious as it sounds like there OW on the scene.

There are OW on the scene: the OP’s mates!

ZeroFuchsGiven · 08/04/2021 08:48

@Mrgrinch

No way would I allow this. It's my home not a fucking nightclub. Be prepared for your usually lovely friends to treat your house like shit, because they will.
Why on earth would FRIENDS treat her house like shit? I just don't understand half of the replies on here at all.
BillMasen · 08/04/2021 08:51

@Wellpark

Not an effin chance!!! Sounds like they are planning to have sex workers round. Sorry but it's dodgy af!!!
Ffs. That’s a leap based on absolutely nothing. Ridiculous post
waterlego · 08/04/2021 08:51

Be prepared for your usually lovely friends to treat your house like shit, because they will.

What evidence is there for this? I’ve had friends round for a women only night, OH has had friends round for a men’s night. We’ve also had mutual friends/couples round. A number of these occasions have involved people getting pissed. No-one has trashed the place.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 08/04/2021 08:52

Well it's clear @Thenanny23 is just getting her friends there to use gigolos at best, her secret lover at wprse. Unfortunately, you shouldn't have posted on MN because the smart cookies here saw right through you and you not so well hidden lust for male sex workers😁

Enjoy your sexy party 😂

waterlego · 08/04/2021 08:52

Ditto @ZeroFuchsGiven!

throwa · 08/04/2021 08:53

I'd be on the air bnb site like a shot, picking one in a city I'd always wanted to go to, with e.g. a hot tub, in a lovely area of the country, discussing with my friends if anyone wanted to come with.... and thanking partner for consideration at letting me know it was going to be a drunken piss-up of a weekend (which he knows isn't my cup of tea) and for thinking of something which would work for me too!

But we don't see the need to live in each other's pockets, my OH will quite often go off for a weekend cycle camping with his (male) group of friends (you couldn't pay me enough to sleep in a ditch in the rain.... sorry....) and the female other halves frequently swap older children round as babysitters and have a gathering of their own involving a lot of prosecco and giggling!

Ivy48 · 08/04/2021 08:57

I’d be telling him to bugger off to the air bnb my house isn’t party central and I won’t be forced out of my time at home to benefit a friends and celebration that’s not even or you or your partner

Sciurus83 · 08/04/2021 08:58

Some of the replies on here are mad! OW, sex workers, I shall not leave my home...contacting the dead (that one creased me up Grin)

My DH has decamped when I had girls round for the weekend, he wouldn't really enjoy a hotel by himself I don't think but he went to stay with his best mate for the weekend and we all had a lovely time. Other way round I would be delighted to stay in a hotel, sounds glorious, would insist on a spa though. Boys weekend would doubtless consist of staying up till the small hours drinking obscure beer, BBQing more meat than they should be able to eat but do and talking about woodworking. Boring AF, spa for me!

Beautiful3 · 08/04/2021 08:58

Wow I'd think that very rude and wouldnt be happy nor leave. Why dont they do it at birthday boys place? Where do they want you to go? I wouldnt have anywhere to go.to.

ZeroFuchsGiven · 08/04/2021 08:59

Ffs Cancel the cheque!!

SchrodingersImmigrant · 08/04/2021 09:00

@ZeroFuchsGiven

Ffs Cancel the cheque!!
Unless it's a cheque for gigolos. They deserve to make a living
Branleuse · 08/04/2021 09:03

If they cleaned everything up after them then id do it

PussGirl · 08/04/2021 09:05

"to celebrate a friend's birthday" - why can't they have it at the friend's house?