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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What would you say if partner made you this offer

497 replies

Thenanny23 · 07/04/2021 22:23

Put yourself in this scenario-

Childless married couple, your OH has invited a (single sex) group of friends to stay at your house to celebrate a friends birthday.

They suggest that you might want to not be in the house over the weekend as it may change the dynamic of the gathering and may be noisy/irritating for you.

They offer to book and pay for you to stay in an Air B&B in the nearest city centre for 2 nights.

Would you be offended by the suggestion?

OP posts:
Angelil · 09/04/2021 17:34

I’d cash in and make sure I got a super nice AirBNB for a weekend to myself!

GingerGurl · 09/04/2021 17:37

They are the ones who need to get the Air B and B not you!

josbd · 09/04/2021 17:38

I would be fine. But NOT Airbnb! Hotel of a decent calibre, including me taking a friend

StripedLeopard · 09/04/2021 17:40

I’d book into a nice hotel and enjoy myself 😀

Plunger · 09/04/2021 17:41

Probably want to put porn on the TV!

Ninkanink · 09/04/2021 17:47

🙄🙄

pam290358 · 09/04/2021 17:48

Not a chance. If they’ve suggested you leave on such a weak premise as ‘changing the dynamic’ this would be ringing alarm bells all over the place for me. No way would I be ousted from my own home like this and I’d be bloody furious at him for even suggesting it.

Ninkanink · 09/04/2021 17:49

🙄🙄

Time to read the thread....

SleepingStandingUp · 09/04/2021 17:50

@Alis25

Fine - if he cleans the house thoroughly beforehand and does all the preparation AND cleans it all up before I return. But I’d want to go to a spa. My expectations of his gratitude for compliance would be very high.
So op is kicking him out for a girlie weekend And you want him to do all the housework?
SleepingStandingUp · 09/04/2021 17:51

@pam290358

Not a chance. If they’ve suggested you leave on such a weak premise as ‘changing the dynamic’ this would be ringing alarm bells all over the place for me. No way would I be ousted from my own home like this and I’d be bloody furious at him for even suggesting it.
You're right, anyone doing this is probably having a porn party with local sex workers and cocaine.

Op, are you having a porn party with male prostitute's and drugs?

Toomuchtrouble4me · 09/04/2021 17:51

Absolutely no bloody way would I allow that / if they are intending to be so debauched that I’d need to not witness it then not in my home! They could rent a place elsewhere to go and play. I’d be really pissed off at the suggestion.

Chemtrail123 · 09/04/2021 17:51

Sure he's not a swinger

SleepingStandingUp · 09/04/2021 17:52

Jeez@Toomuchtrouble4me what are you accusing @Thenanny23 of??

Scotland32 · 09/04/2021 17:53

They basically are telling her to leave. I’d think it was rude. But if the AirBnB was nice enough I’d maybe go anyway - as long as they also paid for my takeaway etc.!

Mummabug18 · 09/04/2021 17:57

It's clearly a decision to be made based on things we don't know about like is there strong trust that he wouldn't be up to something? Did he sound genuine in his reasons?

For me. I have a paranoid streak that is my problem alone as I wouldn't be with my husband if I thought he would EVER cheat. So even though it would go through my mind, I trust that it would not be the case.

That said, I wouldn't have a problem with him and his boys having strippers at a special do (stag or birthday, say).

I would love a weekend with a girl friend or 2 at a HOTEL paid for too. It certainly sounds like it would be cheaper than his lot renting somewhere for them. I don't see the difference between you going somewhere or him going in terms of what he will get up to. I know men will be boys and will definitely be more relaxed without wives around, just as women are when the men are out of the way.

It's only "dodgy af" if you don't trust him/them to start with and "offensive" if he was making any of the plans without consulting you first.

It's been a lockdown and its an excuse to let their hair down, imo, do the same while they're offering to pay for it, lol!

dworky · 09/04/2021 18:01

I would say goodbye.

SGChome20 · 09/04/2021 18:01

I’d be delighted and treat it like an adventure/holiday. Especially after all this time in lockdown!

To all the people saying ‘must be getting sex workers round, watching porn on tv’ must be crap to live life that suspicious all the time 😂

Mintjulia · 09/04/2021 18:01

I'd go if offered a night in a decent hotel or spa. But not an AirB&B. Smile

Ninkanink · 09/04/2021 18:02

I think we should all think of the children and CANCEL THE CHEQUE!!

Alwaystired90 · 09/04/2021 18:12

The answer is no. Don’t even entertain this idea.

dotdashdashdash · 09/04/2021 18:14

It's only "dodgy af" if you don't trust him/them to start with

Exactly. Do the people who don't agree with this also not 'let' their partners go on trips away without them? I don't see why someone is more likely to be cheating/ getting strippers/ up to no-good when in their own home than out.

SleepingStandingUp · 09/04/2021 18:16

@Alwaystired90

The answer is no. Don’t even entertain this idea.
Why?
SleepingStandingUp · 09/04/2021 18:18

If the only thing stoping your DP hiring prostitute's, having his mates around for a porn wank fest, taking drugs etc is your physical presence, you really need to reconsider your relationship

HeronLanyon · 09/04/2021 18:21

sleeping the baldness of that really made me laugh. Agree fully!

Moirarose2021 · 09/04/2021 18:27

Another who would want a nice hotel and not an AirB&B