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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What would you say if partner made you this offer

497 replies

Thenanny23 · 07/04/2021 22:23

Put yourself in this scenario-

Childless married couple, your OH has invited a (single sex) group of friends to stay at your house to celebrate a friends birthday.

They suggest that you might want to not be in the house over the weekend as it may change the dynamic of the gathering and may be noisy/irritating for you.

They offer to book and pay for you to stay in an Air B&B in the nearest city centre for 2 nights.

Would you be offended by the suggestion?

OP posts:
Carryonlikeaporkchop · 08/04/2021 10:26

This thread is a perfect example of why it it wise to ignore most of the advice given on any thread.

If you can't even be bothered to read the OPs updates at the very least, then you can shove your "advice" up your arse Grin

Northernlass99 · 08/04/2021 10:30

No problem with this. We have done it many times. If you are having the girls around why would you want DH skulking around. He would always volunteer to go to a friends in this situation anyway.

toocold54 · 08/04/2021 10:39

I’d be delighted to go and stay in a fancy hotel!
It would have to be worded carefully though so I don’t feel pushed out or not wanted.

ZeroFuchsGiven · 08/04/2021 10:49

@Carryonlikeaporkchop

This thread is a perfect example of why it it wise to ignore most of the advice given on any thread.

If you can't even be bothered to read the OPs updates at the very least, then you can shove your "advice" up your arse Grin

This is so true Grin
PerspicaciousGreen · 08/04/2021 10:54

Totally OK: "I'd really love to host a party here for Friend, but I think it would be better if it was a girls night in rather than a mixed thing. Is that OK with you? You're welcome to stay but if you don't want to, I'm happy to sort an AirBNB for you. It might get a bit rowdy!"

Totally not OK: "Hey babe, the girls are coming round on X night so I've booked you an AirBNB as we don't want you around."

Jessica60 · 08/04/2021 10:58

I would love it.

BillMasen · 08/04/2021 11:03

@LagunaBubbles

I'd be very cautious as it sounds like there OW on the scene. The whole thing sounds odd. Why are you having to be turfed out?

Haha loving all the stereotypical replies automatically assuming the OP is talking about her partner, when its her that wants to turf him out!

It’s a perfect example of how MN can be sometimes.

The posters never come back and justify what they said now they know the sexes involved are different

BillMasen · 08/04/2021 11:04

@EffOffCovid

I'd be very cautious as it sounds like there OW on the scene. The whole thing sounds odd. Why are you having to be turfed out?
Do you now think there’s an OM on the scene? If not, why not?
LegendDairy · 08/04/2021 11:16

Excellent. I'd be packing my bag for a lovely relaxing weekend.

notalwaysalondoner · 08/04/2021 11:23

I would be fine with this, and think my DH would be too - it would need to be agreed in advance though, rather than assumed it would be OK after everyone was invited. Also think it would need to include someone else staying with you in the AirBnB - a weekend alone could be boring for many people. Alternatively, an AirBnB somewhere lovely you've always wanted to go, with a 'treat' such as a spa day or nice meal out or something. But DH and I are quite independent and recognise maintaining separate friendships is important, not every relationship works like this.

Carryonlikeaporkchop · 08/04/2021 11:39

Alternatively, an AirBnB somewhere lovely you've always wanted to go, with a 'treat' such as a spa day or nice meal out or something.

Do you think that this is what the OPs DH would like?
He's the one who will be staying away.

GettingItOutThere · 08/04/2021 12:23

erm no.

like absolutely not

EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 08/04/2021 12:30

Looks like a fairly even split, OP.

Please update us all with his reaction when you ask him!!

Although if he says yes, undoubtedly some posters will go "AHA! He's jumped at the chance so he can do hookers and drugs all night in a hotel!"

EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 08/04/2021 12:34

@BillMasen

The posters never come back and justify what they said now they know the sexes involved are different

TBF, AIBU is generally a sort of drive-by posting place.

You know, rock up on a thread, read the OP and nothing else, bitch-plop something judgy or goady, then tyre-screech into the distance and never look back.

MaryMcCarthy · 08/04/2021 12:43

The OP has demonstrated what a nest of hissing sexist hypocrites you are in here.

I pity anyone who comes in here looking for genuine advice. So much 'wisdom' is dispensed through a prism of bitterness towards men. It's sad.

melmos · 08/04/2021 12:44

It's the hotel that I find weird as its sounds really sad and lonely! Totally get the idea of saying did they want to stay at a friends or at a family as it's nice to catch up with friends as an individual rather than part of a couple. Particularly as we havent seem them for so long! But yeah the idea sending your oh to sit in a hotel room alone is odd. Also I realise this isnt always an option but is there a spare room they could set themself up and watch the tv you while having a take away you dont like? My dp buys a crate of beer, fried food and plays fifa in his if I'm having a girly night (and often when I am not!)

MNWorldisCrazy · 08/04/2021 12:50

@SchrodingersImmigrant

Not offended. I can't see how it is offensive. I would suggest they get airbnb more likely rather than making me go. Unless it's a hotel. With room service and whirpool bath.
Most AirBnB hosts won't allow same sex groups
Aprilx · 08/04/2021 12:58

@Carryonlikeaporkchop

This thread is a perfect example of why it it wise to ignore most of the advice given on any thread.

If you can't even be bothered to read the OPs updates at the very least, then you can shove your "advice" up your arse Grin

The Op hasn’t made “updates” they have made singular update and I didn’t see that it made any difference to the original question.
Fatladyslim · 08/04/2021 13:00

I would kick dp out for the weekend if I was having a group of friends over without their partners and I would happily go to a hotel for 2 nights (would probably make a weekend of it with other friends) if dp wanted his mates over without their partners. I reallt would prefer that over listening to the ins and outs of them playing bloody warhammer whilst drinking meade and irritating me asking me to join in.

CirqueDeMorgue · 08/04/2021 13:05

@Fatladyslim your dp and his friends sound cool. Grin

GabsAlot · 08/04/2021 13:19

I dunno id like to be asked before you arranged it all-its his house aswell

couldnt you have a party at the air bnb instead?

ImTheWolfToday · 08/04/2021 13:23

Sounds great, where do I sign up?!

Carryonlikeaporkchop · 08/04/2021 13:31

The Op hasn’t made “updates” they have made singular update and I didn’t see that it made any difference to the original question.

So the fact that it is the OP who is having her mates round makes no difference to the posters who have said it is definitely because they want them out of the way to invite sex workers round and trash the house?

OK then.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 08/04/2021 13:34

Most AirBnB hosts won't allow same sex groups

Kind of get why...

SchrodingersImmigrant · 08/04/2021 13:37

@Carryonlikeaporkchop

The Op hasn’t made “updates” they have made singular update and I didn’t see that it made any difference to the original question.

So the fact that it is the OP who is having her mates round makes no difference to the posters who have said it is definitely because they want them out of the way to invite sex workers round and trash the house?

OK then.

No. Because it's actually all DP's plan so he/she haslve to go to the hotel. They planted the udea of girl's weekend into OP's head because they wnat to go and have a weekend with sex workers and mistress/es somewhere in a hotel. 😁 They want OP out of their way (or rather be out of OP's way?) So they can freely sex. Mystery solved.