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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How to apologise to neighbours for noise complaint?

159 replies

historymajor · 06/04/2021 15:46

Just found out that my neighbours think we are evil loud monsters (we are) and I want to apologise.
I am torn between
YABU
knocking their front door with a box of chocolates and apologising in person
YANBU
knock door running and leaving the chocolates and a note saying sorry

what would you prefer?

OP posts:
historymajor · 06/04/2021 15:47

Oh and if you vote note what do I write?
I am so ashamed and embarrassed 😳
I really don't know what to do

OP posts:
LubaLuca · 06/04/2021 15:48

An apology in person would mean a lot. I wouldn't bother with the chocolate though, just a promise to keep it down in future would make me happy.

Thirstquenching · 06/04/2021 15:50

An apology in person that it won't happen again. Nothing worse than getting off on the wrong foot with your neighbours. Dumping chocolates and running would just make it more awkward

Happycat1212 · 06/04/2021 15:51

How about just stop being so loud?

Teesel · 06/04/2021 15:51

I'd prefer wine to chocolates. And get the maker of the noise to come with you and apologise in person.

LondonStone · 06/04/2021 15:52

In person would be nice OP. Maybe try to find out what times of day/what kind of noise is the real problem and you’ll (hopefully) be able to mitigate for it somehow!

ViciousJackdaw · 06/04/2021 15:52

Go round and apologise. It gives you the chance to ask about the noise they hear so you know what to do to minimise it.

AstraZenecaisprettyforagirl · 06/04/2021 15:53

I'm v. covid-averse (and an antisocial sod), so I'd really appreciate a note assuring me of future quiet, with or without the chocs, without having to talk to you! (But I think most people will prefer an in-person apology.)

CombatBarbie · 06/04/2021 15:53

Depends on how the noise has occurred, newborn baby screaming through the night or loud parties in the garden?

SmidgenofaPigeon · 06/04/2021 15:53

Well I’d prefer you not to be so noisy! What was it that lead to their complaint?

GOODCAT · 06/04/2021 15:59

You are very good apologising for the noise. My noisy neighbours would never do that!

Chocolates and run would be my preference. Just say very sorry for the noise you had no idea you were causing a problem and will keep it down in future. Cheery wave next time you see them.

Zarinea · 06/04/2021 15:59

I'd prefer a note as if find a chat like that awkward.

But less noise would be best of all! If you apologised and carried on being loud I'd be furious and upset.

EveWasReframed · 06/04/2021 16:00

What happened, OP?

Are you ok? You sound sad.

FuckyouCovid21 · 06/04/2021 16:01

What exactly are you doing that annoys your neighbours so much, is it general noise and they are being arses or are you actually being overly loud?

CatsHairEverywhere2 · 06/04/2021 16:04

Well, what do you mean by noisy? Have you been continuously disrupting sleep, subjecting them to excessive noise during the day and night, ignoring repeated requests to keep the volume down? A box of chocolates won’t cut it.

If you mean the kids are bloody noisy, you mostly tune it out so didn’t realise (same with all parents), they’ve politely chapped your door and told you it’s an issue and you’re addressing it immediately, box of chocolates and a quick “sorry bout that, we’ll keep on top of it” should be good

TheRealForReal · 06/04/2021 16:05

Actions speak louder than words so make sure you actually keep the noise down after apologising

audweb · 06/04/2021 16:06

I have noisy neighbours that I have complained about it. I would want you to just not do it. Don’t even come down and apologise. Just be quieter.

Mind you, mine has been swearing and shouting loudly at all times of the day, so frankly I wouldn’t even answer the door to them. Your situation might be different.

LST · 06/04/2021 16:06

How were you being noisy?

VettiyaIruken · 06/04/2021 16:06

How did you find out?

I'd just pop a card through the door apologising (without justifying ) and saying you will make every effort in future to keep reasonable noise levels and to please come knock or text on xxxx if they feel you are being unreasonably loud again.

Obviously there's normal noise levels which is just tough luck but it sounds like you accept you are way over reasonable levels.

WitchyBolloxNStuff · 06/04/2021 16:07

Depends if it was a one off or if you have continuously done it. If a one off then a note through their door to apologise is fine. If not then maybe dropping round for a proper chat would be better to ensure all is OK going forward.

It also depends if they are just being miserable sods and you aren't really noisy, just normal

mooonstone · 06/04/2021 16:08

I mean, the best apology is changed behaviour

What noise were you making? Is it something that will stop now, or will it continue?

Because dropping off wine and chocolates is pointless if you’re still going to be noisy

If it’s something out of your control, discuss it with them

Motnight · 06/04/2021 16:08

Depends on why and how you have been so noisy.
Did it reach the stage where the council has been involved?

CovidCorvid · 06/04/2021 16:11

I’d just want you to stop being loud.

BathshebaKnickerStickers · 06/04/2021 16:12

You sound very flippant about them making a noise complaint about you and your family. Presumably things had become intolerable for them over a period of time.

Whilst an apology would be nice, being quiet would be far better.

vodkaredbullgirl · 06/04/2021 16:14

Depends on what noise they are complaining about?

My neighbours think we are noise and we think they are. Loud music that you can hear through the walls, kids banging about.

They don't like my dogs barking, not that they do much. I can hear theirs when they go out.