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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How to apologise to neighbours for noise complaint?

159 replies

historymajor · 06/04/2021 15:46

Just found out that my neighbours think we are evil loud monsters (we are) and I want to apologise.
I am torn between
YABU
knocking their front door with a box of chocolates and apologising in person
YANBU
knock door running and leaving the chocolates and a note saying sorry

what would you prefer?

OP posts:
custardbear · 06/04/2021 16:14

Was it a one off or are you always noisy?

We're very noisy but we live in a detached house and neighbours aren't very close

Is there any chance you could relocate to a detached home if you're always noisy? I'd be really fed up if I was your neighbour to be honest

EmpressWitchDoesntBurn · 06/04/2021 16:14

I think however you do it, the neighbours would appreciate the gesture & really appreciate an assurance that you’re going to mitigate the noise in future.

custardbear · 06/04/2021 16:14

Forgot to say - talk to them, it'll mean you'll be less likely to do it again as you'll be shamed!

prawntoastie · 06/04/2021 16:15

I don’t know about leaving a note because I have two miserable cows downstairs who claimed I was a noise maker and I left them a note which they then said to police I was harassing them.

So much happened since then, they still complain but nobody include the HA care.

I would knock first and see if they will talk to you if not then just try keep the noise down.

prawntoastie · 06/04/2021 16:18

My note said along the lines of

Hi, I have been notified you made a complaint about noise from my flat/house. I am very sorry and did not mean to disturb you. If I make any noise in the future which annoys you feel free to knock or leave me a note. Just want to live in peace with neighbours and you can ring my door if you need anything. Kind regards neighbour.

I got a police warning over this.

espressoontap · 06/04/2021 16:19

Why are you so loud?

wingsnthat · 06/04/2021 16:20

If it’s a formal council noise complaint, I wouldn’t discuss with the neighbour. As others have mentioned, it could be misconstrued, as from their perspective you’re on bad terms. They may think you’re trying to confront them rather than apologise.

I think you should just reply to the council and detail the changes you are implementing to reduce the noise.

PyjamaFan · 06/04/2021 16:21

Just stop being noisy and leave them alone.

wingsnthat · 06/04/2021 16:22

@prawntoastie that could be considered harassment if the neighbours have previously told you not to contact them. It would be considered a breach, regardless of the letter contents.

Okbussitout · 06/04/2021 16:23

Jesus it must have been bad to make a noise complaint. So stop making a noise and check in with them on a regular basis to see if you are making a noise.

I think an explanation would be good. But really you just need to change your behaviour as chocolate won't make much difference if you're still really loud.

AnneLovesGilbert · 06/04/2021 16:24

Stop being “evil loud monsters”. It’s not funny. Noise pollution is incredibly stressful. If you’re stopping them from sleeping they’re unlikely to be soothed by a box of bloody chocolates. Stop being inconsiderate.

GoWalkabout · 06/04/2021 16:26

I guess it depends if you can change anything. I think things are better said in person. But don't give them room to complain about everything.

ilovemydogandMrObama · 06/04/2021 16:28

You got a police warning?

As in they came to your house?

huggzy · 06/04/2021 16:29

What sort of complaint was it? Have they put a note through your door or made an official complaint to the council?

Happycat1212 · 06/04/2021 16:29

I think there’s more to that police warning than pp is letting on.

gamerchick · 06/04/2021 16:30

What kind of noise? Noisy neighbours destroy your peace of mind. Just stop the noise, that's enough.

CentBoppers · 06/04/2021 16:30

OP are you the neighbour who uses their front drive instead of the back garden until the early hours?

AngryBananaSund · 06/04/2021 16:35

Our neighbours husband power washed their drive, which had the side effect of blowing a thick layer of mud on to our drive

When the neighbours wife came home she immediately came round with two boxes of chocolates and some flowers, which went a long way to taking the sting out of the incident

Bonitalazenia · 06/04/2021 16:39

What GOODCAT said!

PegasusReturns · 06/04/2021 16:43

Knock and run definitely - waiting for an answer may be interpreted as confrontational, especially since you’re going to have to put them on the spot by referencing that you know they made a complaint.

What have you been doing though op?!

StellaDendrite · 06/04/2021 16:48

Not enough info OP

Dentistlakes · 06/04/2021 16:53

Personally I wouldn’t care for chocolates or an apology. I would just want you to stop being so noisy.

fudgefox · 06/04/2021 16:56

Stop being noisy.

skeggycaggy · 06/04/2021 16:57

It depends on the situation. Our neighbours complained about us, but we (genuinely) are just a family moving about our house in a reasonable way - it’s a poorly done Victorian conversion so yes they do hear us on the stairs & hallway, but we are reasonable to go up & down our stairs & hall... they’ve lived next door for 30 years & there’s never been a young family in this house in that time so I’m sure we are a disruptive shock, but we can’t not go & up & down our stairs... and I won’t apologise for doing so!

purplecorkheart · 06/04/2021 16:59

What kind of noise are we talking about? To be honest I would prefer reassurances that you will make changes if realistic to reduce noise. For example not playing loud music or using headphones etc.