Daughter looks like her Dad :-(

[Dorset555]

Hi I'm really annoyed that I'm so annoyed about this but my first child (7 week old daughter) looks just like my partner. She has done since she was born and everyone says it...his family. My family ..everyone. any photo we put online is followed by a barrage of comments to him 'oh she's your double' etc.
Firstly I don't want my daughter to look like a 40 year old man. Secondly am I being unreasonable, but I feel really jealous and upset that she doesn't look like me. I feel like I have put so much time and effort into making her and now spend 90% of my time looking after her and I just don't see any of myself in her appearance and literally all of him. To make things worse my partner is not really enjoying being a new dad and I'm trying to help him adjust but I don't even feel he really likes her yet. It all seems very unfair.
I keep checking myself though as I'm so grateful she's a happy healthy baby and this is really very unimportant. But I have to say its getting me down a bit. Am I being unreasonable? Thanks for any comments/advice.

My DD, aged 8, is a clone of her father. She has many of his interests too, and they spend a lot of time together.
I get what you mean - I did the hard work and she didn't have the consideration to include me in her looks at all!
However, she is far more beautiful than he is, which is good, and while they share a love of some activities, when she is tired and comes to snuggle, it's me she wants. And it's me that gets told "I love you more than the number of all the stars in the sky - and that's a very, very lot." So that helps!!

Give it time and while you will see the resemblance, she will also just look like herself, and you won't be able to imagine her looking any different.

I think babies always look like little old men when they're born and I say this as someone who's about to push out another. Does it matter what she looks like? They change so quickly at that age. Our daughter was very like her dad when she was a baby but is practically my double these days. Main thing I'm concerned about is that the kids are happy, healthy and well rounded human beings, that's where mums have real influence. Just enjoy your baby OP, baby cuddles are the best!

When I was born someone apparently said I looked like a particular relative to which my dad is said to have replied ‘yup, bald with no teeth’. Go, dad!

Joking apart, babies seem to go through phases of ‘looking like’ various relatives - your baby won’t be any different. The main issue seems to be you not feeling your chap is on board so far.

@1WayOrAnother2 thanks for your comment really like the cloud analogy!
I Don't think I realised what a pile in this would be having never posted in AIBU before...I thank you all for your comments

My DD (now 11 weeks) looks like her dad and when she was 8 weeks was in fact the spitting image of him at the same age.

I'm ok.since he is better looking than me although I prefer my eye colour.

@Soubriquet

All babies look like their dad when they are born

I think it’s a survival thing so men of olde would say the baby was theirs because it looked like them

I’ve heard that too.

My daughter looked like her dad, right down to his bald head, small eyes and thin lips. At 15 she look likes my mum with huge grey eyes, full lips and gorgeous head of poker straight dark brown hair to her waist.

When I had my second people told me they never thought it was possible I could have a baby look more like DH than my first but there he is! You'd never know they were mine

he might have cheated on you with another women id keep my eyes out for his fly girl probably some 20 year old blonde this is more common then most gals think but i had it happen with my 2nd 5th and 11th husband and i reckon its happening with my current 20th husband

[quote Soubriquet]@SchadenfreudePersonified

Please tell me autocarrot was a mix up and not a deliberate mistake...cos that would be hilarious [/quote]
I hate to disappoint you, but it was deliberate . . .

It did happen once by accident, many moons ago, and I liked it so much I bought the company I have used it ever since.

Along with "auto-cock-up".

Babies look more like their fathers in the first year of life.
Somebody else said that that can't be right because mirrors are a recent invention! haha - I think the wider family can see resemblances.

Babies often do when they are tiny

Mine was the spit of his dad as well. Now he’s literally a mini me, right down to his asbestos gob and temper apparently.

My son looks just like his dad. I love him more because he looks like the man i love and i love my dh more because looks like my son.

At least she doesn’t look like “Churchill carved into a turnip” which is apparently how my grandfather described his first grandchild!

Could be worse... my new born son was the spitting image of my father-in-law. Hair colour, ears, eyes, cheeks everything - Freaked me right out!

My DD, aged 8, is a clone of her father. She has many of his interests too, and they spend a lot of time together.
I get what you mean - I did the hard work and she didn't have the consideration to include me in her looks at all!
However, she is far more beautiful than he is, which is good

It always amazes me that girls can look the spitting image of their dads, and yet be obviously incredibly female (and the reverse for sons and mothers).

You wouldn't think that features could translate so faithfully to the opposite sex - but they do.

@FrancesSaid

They usually look like dad initially. They then morph into a combination of both parents. I’ve read somewhere that it’s a biological thing, so that dads can tell the child is theirs. My dd was the image of her dad for the first few months. She now looks just like me, but has his face shape.

www.nytimes.com/2005/03/22/health/the-claim-babies-tend-to-look-like-their-fathers.html

Oh bless you.
Babies change all the time. My DS looked just like his dad when he was a newborn, the exact same as my partner did when he was a baby.
He now looks like me, same eyes (he has beautiful long double eye lashes) which I have long eye lashes but his are out of this world!

He does have his dads mouth but they change so much. I wouldn't get yourself too worked up about it.

Yeah, DD was and remains the spitting image of her father (at three now). Thank god I was in the birth centre that day otherwise I'd be having doubts .

This will pass OP, my DC were the double of DH til around 12 months
Now mini-me’s

My now 19 year old DS was the image of his Dad for the first few years of his life. He’s now the image of me. In fact I found a photo of me aged 18 a few weeks ago and it looked like my DS in a dress.

I got pregnant after going through all fertility treatments for 11 years and my daughter was spit image of her dad and grandma, I was gutted ...
Then aged 2 she suddenly changed and now looks like me and my family.

Don’t worry op she will be beautiful whoever she looks like.

My little boys looked just like their Dad for a while.....maybe until around 10 weeks (honestly can’t remember) they still have DH’s eyes but everything else (inc hair style and colour) is me when I was their age.

My friend’s daughter looks like her DH’s siblings, but not DH, but not DH (friend does not get on with the sisters in law) so she would probably sympathise.

As others have said it's normal - an evolutionary thing. If it's any comfort my baby looked exactly like our niece on my husband's side and nothing like my family at all. By her first birthday you couldn't tell her baby photos apart from mine apart from by the era of the clothes and she still looks a lot like me at 6 (poor thing).