Providing transport for teenager to work/study

[JensonsAcolyte]

DH and I are not in agreement.

I won’t say which is which.

Dd has the offer of an apprenticeship placement in a rural area, 25mins drive from home, zero public transport. She is just 17 so not driving yet but it’s part of the plan.

One of us thinks we should take her and pick her up, this would be one journey per parent due to work hours. Fifty minute round trip. DD is happy to pay for taxis if we are unavailable for any reason that day.

The other one of us thinks this is a batshit crazy commitment and too much time out of an already busy day, and that DD needs to find another placement.

Would you do it?

YANBU : take her

YABU : reject the placement offer.

Do it. Learn to drive ASAP. My dd managed it in 10 months. Go for it. Hell no to anything on 2 wheels.

My daughter is doing a year’s training placement. I am working from home. At the beginning of the year, she was taking public transport and learning to drive. As the pandemic hit, driving lessons have been off/on and public transport has become more dangerous.

I have driven her there and back every day she needs me (she works from home one day a week). The round trip takes about the same as yours - 45-50 minutes, morning and evening.

God, the poor kid will be earning buttons . She'll never finance driving lessons on a apprenticeship wage.

I wouldn't assume that, my nephew was earning more than me in his apprenticeship and I have a house, car and 2 dc to keep. He funded lessons, buying a new car, constant new clothes and trainers and still has significant savings. Now he's 18 he's been promoted too and earns nearly 3 times my wage.

I don't know why people are saying the OP lives rurally when she specifically says she doesn't.

What are her hours? How flexible are your and DH working hours? My sister expects me to pick her up from work, usually my working hours allow. Sometimes I have a late meeting drop in that I can't decline. I can't commit to every day because of this. Same situation that her placement is rural with limited public transport.

I'd take her. Absolutely. My parents choose to live rurally, and I missed out on a lot as a result.
Why should she miss this opportunity?
I'd also be paying for driving lessons and her first car.

Just as an update, she’s accepted the placement and starts next week.

We will obviously be taking her and picking her up.

Celebrating with her this evening with a Chinese takeaway

Lovely news

Great news, I was in the "take her" camp.

Hopefully once driving lessons restart next week it will be the end of the disruption. It is going to take a while to get lessons and tests as there is a massive backlog but even if it takes a year to get through it all, she can take herself eventually.

@FrangipaniBlue

Take her.

I don't see it as any different to doing school runs or after school clubs/activities, she's only 17!

But I also second that there's a good chance someone else there may agree to give her lifts on the provision she reciprocates when she passes her test, encouraging car share is always good!

I'd give a lift. I wouldn't take a lift. I'd hate potentially being stuck.

One hundred per cent take her. I have a child same age and wouldn't hesitate

Well done your DD! The half an hour in the car bringing my DD home from hers is about the only time I get to hang out with her so there are some bonuses (plus just leaving the house...!)

Ah, a lovely bit of good news. Such welcome relief. I hope she flourishes (and learns to drive PDQ)!

Good on you and her.

once she starts, there might be the opportunity of a lift share? As long as it's an apprenticeship that leads to something she wants to do, I'd take her.
Well, probably even if it's not leading to a viable career, probably worth taking her so that she gets some proper work experience on her CV - and practically! Will some days be at college that's better located?