Providing transport for teenager to work/study

[JensonsAcolyte]

DH and I are not in agreement.

I won’t say which is which.

Dd has the offer of an apprenticeship placement in a rural area, 25mins drive from home, zero public transport. She is just 17 so not driving yet but it’s part of the plan.

One of us thinks we should take her and pick her up, this would be one journey per parent due to work hours. Fifty minute round trip. DD is happy to pay for taxis if we are unavailable for any reason that day.

The other one of us thinks this is a batshit crazy commitment and too much time out of an already busy day, and that DD needs to find another placement.

Would you do it?

YANBU : take her

YABU : reject the placement offer.

We are the ones who are rural. We drove her to get her to work her work in a care home and gaining qualifications to that end on top of studying for uni.

It paid off for her. Due to having her license, experience and qualifications, she will begin a uni place in August but also a quite nice set up in an affluent part of a city, as part-time carer flexible around her studies for an elderly lady and with full use of a car, her own with entry apartment above a garage to begin next month.

It was well worth our driving her whilst simultaneously offering driving lessons and practise. She gained very valuable skills that now allow her to make a good living and then some.

I'd drive her

It's not her fault her parents have chosen to raise her in an area with no public transport.

God help her if she becomes a nervous/reluctant driver. She'll have to move out.

@LaurieFairyCake

I wouldn't add a 50 minute commitment a day to my life EVERY day for 15 months - that's way too much on top of a full time job (plus my own commuting)

It's 50 minute EACH - 25 minutes each way, twice?

Wouldn't you? I would.

Take her, it’s difficult to get apprenticeships

@LaurieFairyCake

I wouldn't add a 50 minute commitment a day to my life EVERY day for 15 months - that's way too much on top of a full time job (plus my own commuting)

It's 50 minute EACH - 25 minutes each way, twice?

If they're so rural that there's no public transport available, op was presumably doing some sort of ferrying to school? Maybe not quite 25 minutes, but it may only be as little as 10 minutes extra 🤷🏻‍♀️ I'd certainly do it. Most people would.

I’d take / pick her up. Opportunities are limited these days and I do all I could to give my son or daughter a leg up

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz

She has no other transportation options

She could consider transport when applying for apprenticeships. I consider transport when I look for a job. It's part and parcel of the process.

You consider transport when you have a choice of jobs. When there's only one offer, you take what you get.

Of course I would take her! No, it's not ideal, but when you physically can do it, you can give an hour of your day to your kid.

I see it as part of parenting and helping her get on in the world. Congrats to her on getting one!

@LaurieFairyCake

I wouldn't add a 50 minute commitment a day to my life EVERY day for 15 months - that's way too much on top of a full time job (plus my own commuting)

It's 50 minute EACH - 25 minutes each way, twice?

hahaha

Most of us have added a hell of a lot more than 50 minutes a day during school closure.

You chose to have kids, you follow through . If you begrudge an hour a day that you CAN give, why the hell did you have kids in the first place.

@JensonsAcolyte

Adults do have the time, DH starts and leaves work early and I start and leave late.

Waiting on her provisional license to arrive and then will start lessons ASAP. Money in place for car/insurance and lessons.

Once she has her provisional licence and a couple of lessons under her belt some of the driving could be done by her as driving practice. I would take her, unless it's really easy to get an apprenticeship and another one will drop in her lap soon.

Take her. Obviously.
Placement places are hard to come by.

he values his spare time
Bloody hell.

GreyhoundG1rl If they're so rural that there's no public transport available, op was presumably doing some sort of ferrying to school? Maybe not quite 25 minutes, but it may only be as little as 10 minutes extra 🤷🏻‍♀️
I'd certainly do it. Most people would.“

Yes, I would too. Used to do an 80 minute round trip to school, twice each day. As a PP said, this is short-term inconvenience for long-term gain.

Yes I'd take her - opportunities like that don't come around all that often.

I would take her 100% it's only 15 months as well

Apprenticeship is still in education as far as I am concerned so definitely facilitate getting your DD there and back.

Prioritise driving lessons as soon as you can as there is such a long wait for theory/test at the moment.

Take her.

Take her ! Apprenticeships are hard to come by !

I would take her, she might get lucky and find there is someone there that can give her a lift occasionally.

I would take her. Perhaps on the understanding that she does a few extra chores e.g. Cooks and washes up two nights a week, to make up a bit for the time spent.
Be prepared that it might take a good year to learn to drive though.. only start with this if you actually happy to do it for 15 months!

An idea: she cycles on Monday morning. You/DH pick her up on Monday afternoon. You/DH drive her on Tuesday morning. She cycles home on Tuesday afternoon.

That way your busy spare time loving husband doesn't have to commit every day, and does 2 or 3 runs a week. Much better.

I would drive my kid. It is hard for kids to get job ATM.

I would not even let DH cycle on narrow country lanes, let alone my kid!

It's just as bad as a mopped.

I would drive without a doubt.

Imagine letting the poor kid cycle on dark country lanes to avoid getting your arse out of bed 20 minutes earlier 🙄

I’d take her. It wouldn’t feel any different to school run or after school activities to me. I used to do it at least twice a day, sometimes more.
It won’t be for ever. It gives her employment opportunities.