Another dog moan - aibu

[Cocothecat27]

I have a small terrier who is quite reactive to other dogs. He's mostly just very barky but he has been known to have a little snap at other dogs if they come up to him, not that he'd do any damage as he's tiny. He seems particularly reactive when he's on lead and other dogs approach him who aren't.

We are working on this, he's still very young. But for this reason he is always on a lead.

Three times this week we have been approached in public places by dogs off lead. The owners always say the same thing - it's ok he/she is fine. But my dog isn't always fine and if he snaps at yours and a fight happens it'll most likely be my very small, on the lead dog that comes off worse.

We had an incident yesterday where a huge dog came bounding over to us which is pretty scary as it is. My idiot dog started going crazy and I had to pick him up.

I tell people sorry he can be a bit snappy at times, as though it's my fault! but if their dog was on a lead too it wouldn't be a problem would it? I'm working on my dog being less reactive but it doesn't help when these things keeps happening. Aibu to find it really annoying?

No you're not but my advice is to not walk him in areas where most other dogs are off lead unless you know you're going to be a long way from other dogs.

Dog protocol is that you don't let your off lead dog approach on lead ones but unfortunately not all dogs and owners see, to do this. So all you can do is try and reduce the potential for it happening.

@Clymene it's hard to tell in our area, there are no designated areas where dogs have to be on leads. Even our local park doesn't stipulate one way or the other. It's down the owners and there seem to be a lot around here who just don't care.

I suppose I feel like because it's my dog who is the arsehole then it's kind of my fault if something were to happen, which is why I always try to shout a warning to other owners. But he's still learning and with him being so small he would definitely come off worst if anything happened.

He may be snappy because you're making him fearful by picking him up. Was he socialised properly as a pup?

Hell is other dog owners, don't despair you can help your dog be more confident. Assert yourself, tell other dog owners to call their dog and put them on a lead, responsible dog owners would do this anyway as soon as they see another dog on a lead.

Don't take the blame for their failure to be responsible, tell them you are training. Presumably as well as "it's OK my dogs friendly" you also hear "well mine will have to learn" if you say your dog might react badly to being approached, tell them their dog can learn with someone else's pet, not yours.

Your dog is young so can be easily trained. If you haven't employed a trainer then I would suggest finding one. A few one to one sessions will give you the techniques and confidence to deal with your dogs reactivity. The trainer will train you, not your dog. Find one that doesn't use aversive training methods.

Find someone else with a calm small dog and walk with them with both dogs on leads and separated from each other, your dog will quickly settle down. Picking your dog up reinforces that there is something to be scared of which increases reactivity, it's more useful to redirect their attention to you and walk away. A trainer will show you redirection techniques, follow their instructions to the letter and above all be consistent and persevere.

It is annoying but you can't control all the world's irresponsible dog owners so you have to navigate the world with them in it.

Good luck.

The issue us when the owner is not close enough to communicate with, so you can tell them your dog is reactive as their dog show sign to come your way and they can call it back.

Dogs should have good recall if off the lead. You certainly shouldn't apologise.

If you own a dog and it's off lead and you see ANY other dog coming your way, it should be recalled and put in a lead until you're safely past the other dog. I don't get why that is so hard to follow. (Talking about other people where OP not you)

I have 3 dogs all with excellent recall one is a JRT and has fear aggression. If we see another dog I can call her and put her on the lead.
And luckily she is small so I can pick her up easily but the amount of people who just let an uncontrolled dog bound up is amazing! Horrifies me. My JRT WILL snap and show her teeth. When someone shouts 'it's ok he's very friendly' I shout back 'yes but mines not, can you grab your dog please?'

Does my head in.

I could have written this myself. I have a 4 year old Jack Russell. She’s fine with dogs if they just walk by minding their own business or in the distance etc but if they come into her personal space she reacts by barking and comes across aggressive where she’s really just nervous - doesn’t help that she was actually bitten by a big dog in our garden (long story but big dog managed to dig its way in to our garden) She is always on a lead. It really infuriates me too op.

Not my dog - she was at home but I was at the beach with Dd the other day and a large bouncy dog off lead approached a dog who was sat on a lead with their owners. Dog who was sat nicely beforehand looked really scared and the large dog was terrorising it imo. The owner of the bouncy dog was miles away and then she finally came over she said ‘it’s okay she’s friendly’. Well the other dog clearly doesn’t like the dog in their space so bleddy recall it.

It’s go to the point I will not take my dog to the beach unless it’s like 6-7am! She loves the beach and it’s only 5 minutes away but going in the day there is too many dogs about.

They often approach my children too! My kids are fine with dogs but still don’t like strange dogs approaching my children.

I always try to put my dog on a lead if I see someone coming with a dog on a lead. But occasionally mine doesn't come back when called (we're working on it!) and will run up to a dog on a lead. I only have him off lead in places that are quiet.

Our local parks all say that dogs need to be kept on a lead so I'm sure you can find somewhere where dogs are all on leads.

I did see a dog with a harness the other day which said "please don't approach" which I thought was a good idea.

Sorry, I meant to add that YANBU.

Dog protocol is that you don't let your off lead dog approach on lead ones but unfortunately not all dogs and owners see, to do this. So all you can do is try and reduce the potential for it happening.
I was going to say the same thing.

It might also be worth speaking to a decent dog trainer or dog behaviourist as at times owner behaviours can promote reactive behaviour by unintentional reinforcing a fear response. It's best to get in early whilst puppies are still young

I have a reactive dog too. Honestly, what you're doing is making it worse.
You shouldn't be taking your dog to places where there are off lead dogs. Yes they should have better recall, of course they should, but you know the situation isn't suitable for your dog. Every time your dog reacts, your dog becomes more reactive. Especially with you picking him up.
Stick to paths where others have to keep their dogs on leads, watch your dog for signs of being uncomfortable and divert away from situations that your dog will react to. And get a trainer involved asap.

People who know their dog is reactive but walk straight towards us pisses me off more than people who have friendly dogs that they don't keep on a lead.

Dogs who don't recall should be on a lead. My dog is walked mostly off lead but has brilliant recall and really has zero interest in other people or dogs. It pisses me off when we are minding our own business and other dogs come bowling over just because he is off his lead. He doesnt want to play with other dogs. He wants to keep to himself and play with his ball!

I can empathise . I have a small extremely cute looking dog who dislikes other dogs so he stays on the lead unless we are somewhere deserted. Iff lead dogs approach him and the owners always tell me how friendly they are but he just isn’t and size is no deterrent to him. No matter what I say they don’t move their dogs until he snaps at them . He was surrounded by three chihuahuas one day so I made the mistake of picking him up and they were jumping up and snapping at my hands. I just wish owners would listen .

Dogs who don't recall should be on a lead. My dog is walked mostly off lead but has brilliant recall and really has zero interest in other people or dogs. It pisses me off when we are minding our own business and other dogs come bowling over just because he is off his lead. He doesnt want to play with other dogs. He wants to keep to himself and play with his ball!

My dog is mostly off lead. He's a big softy. But even I get very annoyed when he is on lead and other dogs just bound up to him. He's on lead a lot more as he gets older because, for some reason in the past year, he's been attacked a number of times on our walks. I don't know it it's his age that's pissing off younger dogs or if there are just more dogs out there because of lockdown, so the chances of 'altercations' are now higher than before. Who knows? But I do understand your frustrations completely.

Have you considered getting one of those hi-vis 'nervous'/'anxious' leads or collars, OP? There are a couple of local dogs around and one of them has the 'nervous' collar and the other is on a 'nervous' lead. It does really help.

Its really hard to find places where dogs are not off lead. We do daily walks in our local area due to work and school runs and there are some lovely walking spots. Most dogs are on their leads but a significant amount aren't. And I can't predict where and when I'm going to bump into an irresponsible dog walker.

I know picking him yesterday was completely the wrong thing to do but honestly in that moment I acted on instinct and was really scared as the dog that approached us was massive, some sort of German shepherd cross I think. Never seen a dog as big as that and I just panicked.

He would probably be much better off his lead. He can't get away if he needs to so he is being defensive. Maybe practise his recall off lead and see how he goes. You could use a soft muzzle at first if your unsure how he will be

Tell the other dog owners to recall their dogs. Do it assertively but not rudely. They should have their dogs under control and not pestering other dogs without invitation.
Don’t start believing it’s your dog. Many don’t like being pawed over and sniffed. Allowing an uninvited approach is just rude. The responsibility sits with the other dog owners.

Yanbu we sometimes walk our ddog off lead and we’ve trained him to seek permission before greeting another ddog (which gives us time to establish if we A. Want ddog to great that ddog and B. Check if other dog is on a lead as we’d then keep him away. he’s be great at this for months but he’s now currently back on the long lead as he saw a dog he want to play with and went, ignoring recall. He’s 9 months and I have this is normal. On that occasion he was put straight back on the lead and we apologised to the other dog owner.

Ddog does great greeting as in he gets near and lays down so wasn’t jumping on the dog but I still know I need to gain more control. It’s hard training as you do have to take risks sometimes and many dogs aren’t really suited to a leaded walk around the block - especially gun dogs. Owners need to be much more aware though!

What is your ddog actually doing? Because snapping/growling at another dog that's too close and they've taken a dislike to... that's pretty normal dog behaviour. Just laying out the boundaries - 'back off, mate'. Especially when on lead, as dogs feel more in control of themselves off lead with another off lead dog.

Or is your dog really going for the other dog, trying to do some damage? Because aggression is a worry.

Also, does your dog react this way to every other dog? Or just a select few? Most well-socialised dogs like to have a play (if both off lead) or at least enjoy a butt-sniff before wandering off in indifference.

Well, I just read your update. You need to just get an 'anxious' lead and be done with it. You're can't change the way dog owners behave or the types of dogs you're meeting, but you can help your own dog by making others as aware as possible in advance about his reactive nature. Help him out by getting a collar or lead that alerts other owners.

[quote Cocothecat27]@Clymene it's hard to tell in our area, there are no designated areas where dogs have to be on leads. Even our local park doesn't stipulate one way or the other. It's down the owners and there seem to be a lot around here who just don't care.

I suppose I feel like because it's my dog who is the arsehole then it's kind of my fault if something were to happen, which is why I always try to shout a warning to other owners. But he's still learning and with him being so small he would definitely come off worst if anything happened. [/quote]
He is only learning to be more scared and defensive with you telling people. It to approach that in itself will make the problem much worse and your anxiety will make it much worse too

We had quite a long chat on this over in the dog house OP, might find some useful tips www.mumsnet.com/Talk/the_doghouse/4209351-wwyd-if-you-saw-a-huge-dog-running-straight

YANBU at all. We have a reactive rescue who is getting better but it's unpredictable when she will have a go. I will put her on the lead if she can't escape as she's worse if she feels trapped. I am pissed off with the number of owners who let their dog come over when they see I've put her on the lead with a "it's OK, they're friendly". Yeah well mine isn't and she's getting stressed. I suppose you could just try shouting at them to keep their dog away, but they probably won't.

I had a similar issue with my last dog who was a large Belgian shepherd mix. We got her at 6 months from a private family (you could tell if we didn't take they'd dump her at the side of the road) and it became clear pretty quickly she'd been hit, tormented by their children and not socialised. She was a lovely girl but had anxiety surrounding children and introductions with dogs. She was dominant with other dogs during introductions and went into stalk mode with some dogs as they were approaching. We never managed to train it out of her, I suspect whatever went on during those first 6 months had such a significant impact on her. To deal with this we made sure she had an excellent recall and would move off the path to let other dogs passed. It was a massive shame though as once the introduction was over she was great, it was just getting over the introduction.

I also suggest you try a trainer/behaviourist 1 to 1 then maybe progress to group classes so he meets more dogs in a controlled environment. Also don't be afraid to tell approaching dogs "no" in the same way you'd tell your own. Also try not to panic as other dogs approach, your dog will be picking up any anxiety you have.