Easter lunch - who is right him or me?

[Itsalonghaul]

We were lucky to have a family invite for Easter lunch yesterday.
We arrived and BIL and SIL were clearly tipsy and in high spirits already. Music is blaring, everyone was drinking wine. It was sunny and lovely outside, and none of us have been out for four months with 'other people'. Drinks were flowing. Everyone laughing all good.

Dh barely drinks so is always happy to drive. SIL and family and I are having a blast, and to be fair we were having a great time. I have two teens. We left around 3 and a half hours later. Given it takes nearly two hours to get there - it is always usually an afternoon.

On the way home Dh tells me I was too loud. Teens then join in and to be fair they consider any kind of drinking 'sad' and for 'old people' and so were not impressed, they apparently were bored and wanted to leave earlier, and told me I have 'lost my filter' I actually felt like I was being told off on the way home, like a naughty child - I am nearly 50!

My view is that its our first day out after lockdown, a few drinks is to be expected and I think it was fun, what is the problem?!

Both dh and dc are quite open about being introverted, I am the opposite, and live for friends and family and I have really missed laughing with others. Honestly it has been endless this winter for me.
They are not keen on the lockdown ending and all three socialise reluctantly. I am usually mindful of this, and respect our differences, but they seem to look down on me, as if wanting to be with other people is some kind of weakness or sin.

Should I have stuck to one drink and left early as they would have preferred? Or right to enjoy what short time I had having fun whilst I could? I am feeling bad this morning, when actually all I did was relax and have a few drinks in the sunshine (at no point was I actually drunk or anything!)

Culturally almost no one in my family drinks alcohol and never to excess we are Chinese and most definitely not in to English drinking culture. I married a white guy who is the most massive lightweight and rarely drinks. His sister however is a big drinker and part of that is the industry she works in . It’s a very work hard play hard industry with lots of networking and entertaining and also drug taking is quite common, think city boys doing coke. So the extremes for me are far wider. I know she thinks we are boring.

It is incredibly hard being a couple that hardly touch alcohol as it is such a big part of English culture. The way you describe your teens op as heavily in to sport and academic that is exactly how DH and I were when young and still are. It does mean your dating pool is quite limited.

Our DS is heavily in to sport but also likes a beer I can see quite clearly how he is accepted far more easily in to peer groups.

Even being the way I am I don’t see your behaviour being especially shocking. It also wasn’t that long. It sounds like they resented being made to go and wanted to punish you as a sort of petty revenge.

It is perfectly fine for your children to have to go to occasional family gatherings and not whinge about it. That’s life. And in a few years time they may learn that life isn’t as black and white, good and bad as they think it is.

Your DH is old enough to get on with it and not be so bloody rude.

Just reply.... Thanks for sharing...... And leave it there

@powershowerforanhour

Also, if the horsey child retains this interest into adulthood and is embarrassed by other people partying and having a few drinks, she's going to spend a large chunk of her life mortified.

Omg, so much yes to this!! Horse people love a party and a drink! (Yes, I'm well aware that's a huge generalisation, but after 40 years around equestrian types, it's accurate in my experience! And I speak as someone who barely drinks - I was always designated driver!)

It is perfectly fine for your children to have to go to occasional family gatherings and not whinge about it. That’s life.

It really is. Yes - people will make allowances for teenagers being a bit bored or whatever - but it’s not unreasonable to expect them to go and visit family once in a while. And if they’re generally uncomfortable with social gatherings, then it’s actually good practice in that context; as adults they will be expected to do it sometimes (maybe even in a work context) and act with good grace. (My DH sounds a little like the OP’s by temperament - but he accepts that sometimes he does need to go to weddings, funerals, family parties etc and makes a big effort, even though he finds it awkward.)