to be seething over dh rocking home wasted at 4 am ...

[lacarte]

again, having told me he was coming home at 9pm? I feel like I have not only two under threes (one just 5 months) but a teenager as well. Lay awake worrying until he got home. Then dd woke up at 5.30am. Total of 1.5hrs (not even) sleep. Far from the first time. No idea how to make him understand that sorry doesn't really make up for it. Should I relax about it or am I within my rights to be really, really fed up? Am having serious sulk.

Theres a difference between going out/being happy for partners to go out, and whoever has gone out being totally unreasonable as to times they go out, doing the opposite to what they say and putting their safety at risk.

I don't think age has anything to do with it, if anything I'd say at 46 they have worked bloody hard and are entitled to go let off steam once in a while, but they should be considerate with it.

"I am curious to know why a 46 yo man still wants to hit the town when town is full of 18 yo's?"

lolol

I don't know... WHAT could the attraction be?

SuzieSweep, you said "I do think that once men reach the age of 30 they should not do the going out til all hours and getting so drunk you can't remember where you are/end up etc, thing."
Ideally no-one should be doing that! I'd be more inclined to worry about a 19year old getting that hammered than a 30+year old!

I've been in a relationship in the past where this sort of thing occured regulary, I I didn't actually mind that xdp wanted to go out all night and get drunk, but it was all the lying that went with it.
When someone says they are just popping for a drink, and will be home by 11 say, its horrible to be sat in wating for them. In some cases my ex never came back until the next morning, and I was awake worrying/seething all night and would then have a shit saturday dealing with a bed ridden miserable drunk as well as two children. You feel like the person has no respect for you, and then you get moaned at for winging at them.
All I used to say to ex was to give me some advance, so I could make alternative plans, and to stick what he said, but he never got his head around it.

Same here gordie! I told exdp time and again I was happy for him to go out, and didnt mind times etc if he would just be honest, but he couldn't!

I think they treat us like we are their mums, it's the sort of thing I would have said to my mum when I was a teenager if I was going out, and at that age, you dont tend to think about other people worrying.
There doesn't seem to be any way to show them either, I did try to stay all night, but I wanted to do nice childreny stuff on a saturday and sont want to be too ill.

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VictorianSqualor
Ah-hah, he was a liar!

Mine is not.

Lol Haychee, as I said, if you're happy....
I'm sure my first post on the other thread said what a liar he was, I also said friends of his had stayed at mine many times, falling asleep with their last drink

But you could of probobly lived with it had he not lied?

cod, I was sat around waiting because I never knew if he was with another woman, in a fight, in a police cell or in hospital, he also found he never managed to open the door himself and would wake the kids. (Hence he is Xdp!)

However, he was the past, now if DP was to go out I know I can trust him so wouldnt be sat around waiting, I'd be asleep!

Dunno Haych, tbh there was more to his drinking than your dh's, I did say this before though!

Message withdrawn

My dp is like your new one, i trust him. I go to sleep too.

Sorry still feeling alot of anger from that last thread. Sometimes people dont hear what yoyr saying and it drives me nuts.

I dont need to dump my dp, i never will. He likes a drink, he does drink too much. But he doesnt cross that line, no lying, no bullying, no fights, no police or anything like that. Its tame, quiet and controlled.

Its nice.
Its fun.
Im very happy.

Don't be angry, there's no need, I'm sure you can see why people said that he may be slightly more dependant on alcohol than necessarily good for him, but as I said, I dont think he is an alcoholic or that you hitting him was DV