Not to let anyone see our newborn

[Grumpylate20s]

I am wondering whether or not it would be selfish to not let anyone see or have a cuddle with our newborn, my wife is adamant that no one is to see him for at least a couple of months... It's my grans bday soon so I would love for her to see him but she is saying no way.. covid sucks and the immediate family has pretty much been vaccinated but my wife won't be able to get it as she's breastfeeding, so she's worried for her and the baby which I totally understand but to not allow anyone seeing him kinda seems unfair, I dunno what do you think?

I've let mine and DHs mums hold our newborn but I've had covid while I was pregnant and I'm breastfeeding so she will be immune. Anyone else who's met her has had to social distance for now. Two months is a bit dramatic but shes probably just anxious and hormonal so give her a couple of weeks then bring it up gently and see if shes feeling calmer about it

Could there not be more to it? Maybe she wants time to bond with baby, establish breastfeeding etc (sorry wasn't sure if baby was born yet reading post) I don't think there's any harm not seeing anyone for a while, maybe a couple of months is excessive but it's nice to just suck up that newborn bubble with no visitors, interruptions etc

So what happens after the few months is up? Presumably she'll still be BF and still wont have had the vaccine, so the situation wont have changed. So will the time frame be extended until she's had the vaccine and not BF?

The logic makes no sense.

If the baby is yours then you have 50% consideration don’t you. Your wife shouldn’t just lay the law down with no discussion

Unless in a place with no restrictions it’s been the law not to mix until this last week when you can meet outdoors with SD.

She's being way over the top. Depriving your family members of meeting your baby is just cruel IMO.

It's not so much seeing family, it's more letting them hold and cuddle, my grandparents have had their vaccines, our parents have had theirs and I've had mine.. I guess for her it's the fact that shes been pretty much inside all of her pregnancy apart from the walks and the grocery shop that she feels very protective. I think the warmer weather will help in the summer but it's deceiving and we wouldn't want a door step meet for a newborn.

Maybe had covid never been a thing we'd get his jabs done and feel better, I wouldn't mind it for people to see him after my paternity leave and then to actually cuddle him when we can go inside relatives homes.

I mentioned wearing masks, sanitize etc etc. But no such luck

The short answer is;
She’s the mum and this is her parenting preference right now.

I’ve had the vaccine happy knowing I was giving my babies protection 👍

In October when ours were born I only allowed MIL round because we simply couldn’t afford for any of us to get sick. No one met them apart from her till 8 weeks after their first vaccinations

@IceCreamAndCandyfloss

If the baby is yours then you have 50% consideration don’t you. Your wife shouldn’t just lay the law down with no discussion

Unless in a place with no restrictions it’s been the law not to mix until this last week when you can meet outdoors with SD.

Ahh there's been lots of discussion but never hurts to get others advice. Taking it with a pinch of salt

She needs to get the vaccine. Buy some quick tests (assuming you have them there) and let your gran come. She's being ludicrous.

I think she is being OTT. Also, it is not only a decision for the mother to make. The OP is allowed to speak up too

@Letsallscreamatthesistene

So what happens after the few months is up? Presumably she'll still be BF and still wont have had the vaccine, so the situation wont have changed. So will the time frame be extended until she's had the vaccine and not BF?

The logic makes no sense.

Breastfeeding will go on indefinitely. When she will get the vaccine is another thing, it'll be when she gets the call I'd imagine... It's cos nobody has actually said to her that the vaccine is fine for BF

It's not so much seeing family, it's more letting them hold and cuddle

Yep this is what I meant. So she's not stopping people from seeing the baby. She's stopping people breaking the rules by cuddling when we should be social distancing. People saying she can have the vaccine, you saying everyone else has had the vaccine. No one's really taking into account this woman's choices about her body.

She doesn't feel comfortable with people cuddling her baby when it's against advice. She's right to feel that way. Stop pressuring her to do something with her baby She's not comfortable with.

I have had the vaccine and am breastfeeding a newborn. We are both fine. Maybe encourage the view that newborns are a joy to share and celebrate with those you love and who love you, rather than hoard and ration?

@Haha fair play, tests aren't easy to get hold of.. not that I know of anyway. Haha could you imagine. Everyone you have to do a test when get to ours or no cigar

What does she think will have changed in a couple of months? Or is she just saying that, knowing that she’ll keep pushing the meeting date further away.

COVID is not going anywhere, your families have been vaccinated, you are both young so won’t be vaccinated for a while. Are your families expected to wait forever?

@Tinydinosaur

It's not so much seeing family, it's more letting them hold and cuddle

Yep this is what I meant. So she's not stopping people from seeing the baby. She's stopping people breaking the rules by cuddling when we should be social distancing. People saying she can have the vaccine, you saying everyone else has had the vaccine. No one's really taking into account this woman's choices about her body.

She doesn't feel comfortable with people cuddling her baby when it's against advice. She's right to feel that way. Stop pressuring her to do something with her baby She's not comfortable with.

Nah yeah I completely understand, thank you

Our granddaughter was born in October. We met her once before the November lockdown and both had a cuddle. It was absolutely lovely. We’re seeing her again next week for the first time in five months and have already been told we can hold her.

Breastfeeding isn't a contraindication for the vaccine. I've had it and I'm breastfeeding. I think your wife is being a little overprotective but I can understand where she's coming from. She's bound to be protective of a newborn, covid or not. Personally, I wouldn't have an issue with other people cuddling my baby because I think the risk is minimal, but I also think it does children good to mix with others as much as possible to build their immune systems up.

@HelloDulling

What does she think will have changed in a couple of months? Or is she just saying that, knowing that she’ll keep pushing the meeting date further away.

COVID is not going anywhere, your families have been vaccinated, you are both young so won’t be vaccinated for a while. Are your families expected to wait forever?

Yeah we've all been vaccinated apart from her cos she hasn't had a call to say so

A few weeks with newborn at home alone just you 3 after yhe birth is fine & I'm sure people understand that...but a walk outdoors on a nice warm day with baby well wrapped should be ok. I wouldn't be up for the cuddlng myself at min....virus is still out there & you don't want anyone in your home ill & coping with a new baby as well..if indoors, then hand sanitisers at the ready & masks on. I guess it depends on how understanding relations will be of rules & respect boundaries. But not even a sight of baby in the garden seems a little OTT. Ask your health advisor or GP what is/is not safe in your circumstances where elderly gran is vaccinated. I don't know about brestfeeding Mothers getting the jab....but some on here say they've had it so ask about that for your wife too.

I get it, but the vaccine just lowers the severity of the illness. It doesnt stop you getting it. COVID will be with us for a long time I suspect. So, with her logic, then nobody will ever get to see the baby??

Im being a bit blunt, I know, but the time frame of 'for a few months' makes no sense at all.

@Tinydinosaur

It's not so much seeing family, it's more letting them hold and cuddle

Yep this is what I meant. So she's not stopping people from seeing the baby. She's stopping people breaking the rules by cuddling when we should be social distancing. People saying she can have the vaccine, you saying everyone else has had the vaccine. No one's really taking into account this woman's choices about her body.

She doesn't feel comfortable with people cuddling her baby when it's against advice. She's right to feel that way. Stop pressuring her to do something with her baby She's not comfortable with.

Anyone with a child under 1 can form a support bubble with another household. No need to socially distance, so it wouldn’t be against the rules. No that that means she has to, it’s still a choice for the couple to make, but it’s not against the advice.

I know a midwife who’s breastfeeding and she’s had both vaccines, so I’m sure if there was risks she would know about them.
I’ve had a baby very recently and I’ve allowed cuddles with family/friends.
I decided as my baby will likely not get the vaccine for potentially years I’m not going to keep him hidden from everyone now as if i was to “fully protect” him from Covid I’d have to be keeping him from people indefinitely.
I also have 2 friends who had babies during lockdown one and they said they both regret following the rules at the time and keeping everyone away as their babies are now terrified of anyone other than their parents. One screams the house down when her grandma holds her (who is meant to now be her main childcare so creating big problems), and the other one screams bloody murder when she’s left alone with anyone other than her mum or if anyone else looks/touches her.
It’s a joint decision between the two of you but personally I think she’s creating long term issues for you both.
It might just be general anxiety, I said to my partner I wanted to keep everyone but grandparents away (and them limited visits) for the first two weeks so we could find our feet and then we slowly phased others in when I felt ready to be more social.

I'm going to go against the grain here a little. My youngest was born last summer and we were very careful about cuddles while he was tiny.

Fast forward to early March and my DD bought Covid home from her dads house. DH, myself and 2.5y DS have had terrible symptoms. DH is still horribly unwell. 8m old DS2 had it more mildly. So he was at less risk HOWEVER caring for DH, DS1 and a baby with silly high temps and a cough whilst struggling to get my head off the pillow has been frankly fucking awful.

So maybe your DS is not at huge risk, but it makes sense to avoid it as much as possible. It's not so bad for everyone, but who wants that while dealing with newborn fog & recovery? I'd be five with visits but still social distance. Btw, the vac is fine for BFers but I'm still waiting on mine too.

She needs to go and speak with a doctor about her fears over breastfeeding and the vaccine. They will help. I spoke with a consultant as part of my routine pregnancy care and mentioned that I would be having my vaccine as soon as I'd given birth (I'm group 6) and she said that evidence is showing the vaccine may pass some
Immunity through breastmilk so it's a fanatic thing to do while breastfeeding.