So much speculation: I thought I would just clarify a few things:
Our children do not know daddy was drunk or that he was arrested. They know daddy was naughty. Easter certainly has not been ruined for them.
They have never seen either myself or DP pissed.
He hasn't done this in a very long time. I just have a very good memory and whenever he gets together with this group and he is not driving, I automatically get on edge.
He's done it about 3 times in all. When I say this I mean he's stopped out all night without letting me know, the last time was probably when our 1st child was a baby, he rolled in early morning (like 6am or so) So he's not done it for at least 8 years!
I also know what he's like when drinking. He's a happy drunk, the party must never end drunk. Again we are not big drinkers now and we don't go out much, but we lived together throughout our party years (in our 20's) so i do remember what he was like!
I really thought he would had grown out of it now or at least would call or text if his plans changed. I wrongly assumed because this was a somber gathering that they would behave themselves. Although part of me knew they wouldn't, iyswim.
When I wrote my post in the morning I was fuming so apologies if I wasn't detailed enough.
I must add though the feeling was exactly the same as the years before. Utterly pissed off and worried at the same time, knowing he's probably got drunk but sad he wasn't thinking about me or the kids, along with the real possibility he was lying in a ditch somewhere. It makes you feel sick. I remember arguing my case all those years ago.
As it happens it's been a very quiet weekend. He's stayed awake on Saturday and got us a takeaway. A nice treat these days.
He is absolutely ashamed of himself. I've said my piece. He knows what a prick he's been. I really don't believe he will ever do it again.
He will beat himself up enough about this, (which is good) he doesn't need me to as well. Although I'm still angry and he knows it, we try not to let it rub off on the kids.
30 years for better or worse. I'm certainly not kicking him out. We all make mistakes.
Forgiveness is a strength some may say.
That will come in time I hope!
Finally If this was a weekly thing we wouldn't be together today and we wouldn't have kids.