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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think oral sex is unpleasant?

382 replies

barnabybarbie · 31/03/2021 21:43

Name changed for obvious reasons.

I should specify - I mean receiving oral sex, not giving it. Giving it I don't mind either way, but receiving really gives me the ick for some reason (even hypothetically from someone I'm otherwise attracted to).

Am I alone in this?

OP posts:
Colouringaddict · 01/04/2021 21:32

@Namechange1991x

Horrible.. especially to think when you kiss your oh his mouth has been on another ladies area....😳
I’d like to think he had washed since then!
WalkersAreNotTheOnlyCrisps · 01/04/2021 21:36

Gross! If you are straight that is

Well it’s either gross or not isn’t it?

I always think I’d be able to perform cunnilingus well 🤔

CorianderBee · 01/04/2021 21:37

@fucksat50

I am also surprised about how many do not enjoy receiving it.

I wonder if for those who don't enjoy it whether they have some difficulty letting themselves go in the moment?

For me, I've always enjoyed it as DH is professional at it.

Nah, their tongue just can't go fast enough for my personal O trigger.
jamaisjedors · 01/04/2021 21:41

Same as other posters, couldn't see what the fuss was about with exh.

With current DP i have discovered that fingers plus tongue can equal multiple orgasms (not so stealth boast Grin), again after years of struggling to come even once.

Very happy and unexpected side effect of divorce!!!

Woolybear · 01/04/2021 21:42

Love love love it. Giving and receiving

Oblomov21 · 01/04/2021 21:46

Love giving and receiving.

DropDTuning · 01/04/2021 21:52

@BirdsCustardPowder

It doesn't do it for me really, I feel a bit... lonely when he's disappeared down there. I'd rather be held, and kiss and run hands around.

This is precisely my issue. I feel cold and alone. I don't want his head miles away from mine. I can make myself come in minutes if that's the aim. Sex is about whole body intimacy and closeness imo.

BurbageBrook · 01/04/2021 22:10

I always hold my DP's head in my hands softly and touch his hair, or we hold hands, or sometimes if we're being more raunchy I'll wrap my thighs around his head Blush, or he reaches up and holds my breasts while doing it, which makes for a great orgasm - I find it hard to imagine feeling cold and alone during oral as it's not like only the tongue and the clit can make contact! But hey we are all very different clearly :D I think it's heaven on earth!

GillBungalow · 01/04/2021 23:22

@fucksat50

I am also surprised about how many do not enjoy receiving it.

I wonder if for those who don't enjoy it whether they have some difficulty letting themselves go in the moment?

For me, I've always enjoyed it as DH is professional at it.

Well no. Never ever had a problem 'letting myself go' unless of course, it's with something I don't particularly enjoy.

I do for example, regularly enjoy simultaneously coming with my husband through PIV, or manual stimulation. Fully let myself myself go BIG TIME then.

Can we please just accept that someone could be the World Champion Cunnilinguist three years running, but it still wouldn't mean diddly squat if the recipient didn't like oral. FFS people, it's not that hard to comprehend, surely?

SinisterBumFacedCat · 02/04/2021 00:55

@Namechange1991x

Horrible.. especially to think when you kiss your oh his mouth has been on another ladies area....😳
Are you swingers?
Dimsummummy · 02/04/2021 01:13

I adore giving/receiving oral sex.
Ime men are already more hyped by the idea of it being oral stimulation rather than any other (and the fact they can tell they’re with someone who genuinely enjoys pleasuring them) and for me all other forms of orgasm can be self stimulated (without the intimacy) through masturbation of some variety, but oral sex can’t! Therefore the sensation is the unicorn?
That said, I’ve always been a very sexual being, but wasn’t confident enough to truly follow/explore all my desires/needs until my early 30s and imagine id have felt ‘exposed’ in a way I couldn’t have handled until I’d truly reached
My sexual acceptance.

JackieTheFart · 02/04/2021 01:16

For me, I've always enjoyed it as DH is professional at it

Excuse me, @fucksat50, what qualifications does he have exactly? DH out of work, might as well send him on a useful course Wink

AnotherSunrise · 02/04/2021 01:23

[quote DropDTuning]@BirdsCustardPowder

It doesn't do it for me really, I feel a bit... lonely when he's disappeared down there. I'd rather be held, and kiss and run hands around.

This is precisely my issue. I feel cold and alone. I don't want his head miles away from mine. I can make myself come in minutes if that's the aim. Sex is about whole body intimacy and closeness imo.[/quote]
But this is the most intimate act ever! If you don't enjoy you are missing out big time

SmokedDuck · 02/04/2021 01:25

Honestly these days I find most foreplay a bit too much.

TheVamoosh · 02/04/2021 02:52

It does nothing for me. I don't care why, I just don't like it and I'm not interested in trying any new techniques to see if the experience can be slightly improved upon. Even when I've orgasmed like that, it has still not been very good. I know what I like and this is not it.

TheVamoosh · 02/04/2021 03:02

If you don't enjoy you are missing out big time

That's such a weird attitude and I've seen this a lot with oral sex. I don't watch football either but I've never been told by a football fan that I'm "missing out". Most people just accept that people like different things.

TeaAndWaffles · 02/04/2021 03:21

I love receiving it. I love giving it to women too but when it comes to men, most around my age group seem to expect you to take them down your throat which is a hard 'no' from me.

StarlightLady · 02/04/2021 03:38

For me sex without oral is incomplete. Every so often, l enjoy oral only sessions too.

@LizHardwood - l’ve gone beyond the secretly. There is a certain wonder when 2 identical bodies come together. The “body knowledge” can make it all feel extra special.

@WalkersAreNotTheOnlyCrisps - That extra understanding of exactly where the buttons are and how to press them can make rainbows.

🌈

Allabouttheangles · 02/04/2021 05:37

@dotdashdashdash of course it makes a difference. Maybe you still will not like it regardless but there are many of us here saying that we enjoy it - only if the person is good. So plenty of us thought we didn’t enjoy it. Until we did! That’s not to say everyone has to enjoy it.

Rowofducks · 02/04/2021 07:11

To whoever asked about body confidence I have no hang ups about my body I just don’t like it then again I don’t like the feeling of orgasms either they freak me out and make me feel ill. So now I’m single I just leave that whole area alone. Envy

sammylady37 · 02/04/2021 07:22

*jessstan2

LizHardwood
I absolutely love it. I secretly would love to give it to another woman too
Gross! If you are straight that is*

What an appalling response, and a perfect example of the type of post I was talking about earlier.
What’s ‘gross’ about what Liz posted? Why are you calling her sexual desire gross? Can you not just accept that she clearly desires something different to you and leave it at that without the primary school style response?

Namechangednorth · 02/04/2021 07:46

I love receiving and also giving it. Is such a lovely intimate thing to do and receive. My DH is great at it. I have my first boyfriend who was older than me and experienced to thank for teaching me though...I was lucky to have such memorable first experiences and that was one of them when we first DTD he spent ages relaxing, massaging and then giving me oral which made me orgasm incredibly intensely

BurbageBrook · 02/04/2021 07:51

Completely agree @sammylady37. What a ridiculously pearl-clutching response to someone expressing sexual desire! Also adding ‘if you’re straight’ didn’t make the tone of the comment much less homophobic...

Meowchickameowmeow · 02/04/2021 07:52

I love it personally but each to their own in all matters in life.

georgarina · 02/04/2021 08:14

Hate it both ways, dp was the opposite. Don't get me wrong, other things are good! But just don't like that.

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