aibu to suggest signet ring (dh's family) is a bit ...

[Stovetopespresso]

it needs resizing and he was just chatting about going to the jewelers when allowed. I said "or you could just not, maybe it's a sign of privilege and status which isn't very "now"? I meant I as a discussion but he got really hurt and said I'd upset him as it was a sentimental family tradition going back years and how much he is looking forward to giving one to dc when they turn 18. he said I was no better than those who want statues removed and history whitewashed. we are both quite left wing! i was thinking by this time maybe I do want statues chucked in the effing harbour but apologiesd for not taking in to account the sentimental value of his family, both sides of which are a tad colonial if relevant yabu= it's his decision yanabu = it's classist and outdated

My Dad wears a signet ring and is definitely not posh.

In our circle of family and friends,

😂😂

this thread keeps on giving. Reverse snobs, humble brag..
this is classic.

Completely agree with you OP. I work in City finance and the pinky finger signet ring is definitely an upper class inherited wealth old boys club signifier.
Not sure the other posters really get where you’re coming from.

@PlumpAndDeliciousFatcat

That is as harmful and as odd as pretending that you didn’t grow up in a council house.

Is there a “Grew Up in a Council House” crest? I wasn’t aware.

You can own your heritage without seeking special treatment by flashing your status around. I find that completely distasteful.

I assume the problem is one of these:

‘Literally never talking about’ your heritage is not ‘owning it’.

[quote Yellownotblue]@PlumpAndDeliciousFatcat

That is as harmful and as odd as pretending that you didn’t grow up in a council house.

Is there a “Grew Up in a Council House” crest? I wasn’t aware.

You can own your heritage without seeking special treatment by flashing your status around. I find that completely distasteful.[/quote]
Maybe he doesn't find it distasteful. Maybe he doesn't give a toss and isn't seeking special treatment. Maybe he just likes it.

Yabu - whatever your feelings about it, its important to him and seems like you just disparaged him and his family. Surely being with him being you accept whats important to him?

Your later posts have just loaded, I withdraw my comment :)

Perhaps it comes down to whether you're the kind of person who tries to 'check your privilege' to avoid trampling others or the type who is proud of it and wants everyone to know. I don't pretend I'm not privileged but I don't wear a coat of arms to make sure everyone knows either.

@Aliensrus

Completely agree with you OP. I work in City finance and the pinky finger signet ring is definitely an upper class inherited wealth old boys club signifier. Not sure the other posters really get where you’re coming from.

You do know that women wear signet rings too, don't you... Not everything is about "old boys club".

@Joysexrenovation

Perhaps it comes down to whether you're the kind of person who tries to 'check your privilege' to avoid trampling others or the type who is proud of it and wants everyone to know. I don't pretend I'm not privileged but I don't wear a coat of arms to make sure everyone knows either.

Trampling others? How conceited! 99.9% don't register it and/or do not care.

I thought it was the done thing to play down ones privilege? 😆

You can own your heritage without seeking special treatment by flashing your status around. I find that completely distasteful.

do tell us what special treatment a signet ring gets you, we can all order one right now

Trampling others? How conceited! 99.9% don't register it and/or do not care.

Why do you think people wear them? When the Middletons were awarded a coat of arms why do you think they had rings made if 99.9% of people don't care or register?

DB works for a MC law firm, he sees them a lot but then thats law for you.

@diwrnachoflleyn are you saying 99.9% of people don't recognise when others are privileged? Or that they don't get the significance of the ring? If the latter then I agree entirely.

Why do you think people wear them? When the Middletons were awarded a coat of arms why do you think they had rings made if 99.9% of people don't care or register?

do you think that's how the Middleton get recognised? Because of their new coat of arm?

Do you think it would an ounce of difference if they hadn't bother with one? (as it is, they did get mocked for how "recent" it was... "

WTF?

We're in the middle of a pandemic and you're worrying about someone else's costume jewellery ring?

@Stovetopespresso

no not racist particularly, I think the colonial suff happened after coat of arms was 'awarded', but isn't I a bit ooh look at me I'm posh, isn't it cooler just to tuck it away in a drawer?

No. A signet ring is fine for a guy to wear.

Tedious OP 🥱

Do you really give a shit that much about what people think?

You sound exhausting and the sort of person i give a wide berth to.

do you think that's how the Middleton get recognised? Because of their new coat of arm?

eh?

I asked why do you think they bothered to get rings?

I think that you are way overthinking it. Do you do this with everything in your life? must be very hard work....................

My uncle has passed his down to my youngest DS as it's a letter one and was worn by my grandfather before him (they all share the same name). I think it's bloody horrible, but I will give it to DS when he's older (right now he'd lose it in his pirate chest) because it's his.

You're entitled to your opinion, but leave your DH be, it's sentimental to him and he's bound to be defensive.