aibu to suggest signet ring (dh's family) is a bit ...

[Stovetopespresso]

it needs resizing and he was just chatting about going to the jewelers when allowed. I said "or you could just not, maybe it's a sign of privilege and status which isn't very "now"? I meant I as a discussion but he got really hurt and said I'd upset him as it was a sentimental family tradition going back years and how much he is looking forward to giving one to dc when they turn 18. he said I was no better than those who want statues removed and history whitewashed. we are both quite left wing! i was thinking by this time maybe I do want statues chucked in the effing harbour but apologiesd for not taking in to account the sentimental value of his family, both sides of which are a tad colonial if relevant yabu= it's his decision yanabu = it's classist and outdated

Hopefully he realises what a bitch you are for mocking him and find someone better.

Tad dramatic!

I think you’re very rude, OP and controlling. If the sexes were reversed, there’d be hell on. Who are you to tell him what he should and shouldn’t wear?

@Stovetopespresso

no not racist particularly, I think the colonial suff happened after coat of arms was 'awarded', but isn't I a bit ooh look at me I'm posh, isn't it cooler just to tuck it away in a drawer?

God forbid one shouldn't be cool. [Hmm]

Inverted snobbery is just as annoying as the regular kind imo.

Unless he’s dipping it into wax and using it to seals his letters to British Gas, he probably has no idea about the roots of such rings. If it’s just jewellery to him, then I don’t really see the issue about privilege.

Huh?

Signet rings are viewed as common as muck where I'm from, also I very much doubt an 18 year old would be caught dead with one!

I wouldn't choose to wear one, aside from the connotations they have amongst the people I know, they are not the most flattering things. Richmond sausages spring to mind.

Oh God I’d die of embarrassment if my husband went around with a signet ring on his pinky!! 😂 Can you not try a different tack and just tell him he looks like a total bellend with it on? I wouldn’t even let my husband get a wedding ring - I can’t stand the look of jewellery on men (save a nice watch of course!).

Well this has been enlightening. My df who grew up in a council house as the son of a coal miner is an upper class, old boys network Eastender.
DH who actually is technically an aristocrat, isn't.

I feel I need to stand up for you OP! YANBU. The amount of people who don’t understand the type of ring you mean and the connotations of it has surprised me. I would feel the same as you if it was my husband.

@Stovetopespresso

no not racist particularly, I think the colonial suff happened after coat of arms was 'awarded', but isn't I a bit ooh look at me I'm posh, isn't it cooler just to tuck it away in a drawer?

Posh? You have to be kidding, signet rings are incredibly tacky. I'd tuck it away in the bin rather than a drawer.

So he's proud of his family and it's traditions, but you're ashamed of them?

It is a "posh" upper class thing . I know nobody who wears one who wouldn't be seen as upper MC + / landowners / low level aristos /

I also know of many try hards who buy them .

It's not up to you to decide what is sentimental for someone else very "BU"

@RosieGuacamosie

YABU - it wasn’t very nice to rubbish his sentimental family jewellery.

By the way nobody will think someone wearing a signet ring is posh, I think they are generally seen as quite tacky (as in east Enders).

You're not talking about the same kind of rings ..

His decision entirely. I think OPs whole argument against is utter tosh & making a huge mountain out of a molehill (or somethng smaller than that even) for the sake of it.

mine is a family seal, coat of arms, and i got it for my 18th birthday.
i am hurt at the criticism.
a colleague criticised it saying they were old fashioned! i just ignored her. it is a family ring.

Have you got an engagement ring with a diamond in? Are you worried about who mines those and will you be disposing of any gemstone you may have because of it?
I mean, the very poor working in terrible conditions to get a lump of rock so the privileged can wear it on a finger as a sign of status.
Can see why your DH was cross tbh.

Absolutely agree with you op. You're not going to get much support here though because we're really the last western country in the world fostering a deeply ingrained class deference mentality. It's embarrassing. It never went away centuries ago but should have.

I have a signet ring with my family’s crest that was made for me then I was 18. I choose not to wear it as i feel it looks too chunky alongside my wedding and engagement rings.
I’m also unsure about wanting to wear cues that shout that my ancestors were nobility, not least since the titles ended a while back and my grandfather sold the family estate.
However I would be horrified and offended if my husband suggested that I shouldn’t wear it if I wanted to, particularly for the reasons total you gave. My ancestry is part of my heritage and who I am and the ring is a small reminder of that. I wouldn’t dream of thinking or telling my husband that he should be anything but proud and grateful for his forefathers, however humble or noble they were. Without them he wouldn’t be here today and I am grateful for that.
Of course we need to be mindful of equal rights and doing our best to promote equal opportunities regardless of class, race, gender, sexuality etc. But feeling embarrassed by your husband’s heritage and desire to wear his ring - wow. I feel sorry that you have so little understanding for him.
You really need to get off your high horse and apologise to him before your hurtful and self-righteous attitude damages your relationship.

@hereyehearye

Who gets this worked up so early in the day? Have some fiber, it will help.

@hereyehearye 😆 see I know it is hypocritical but that's why I wouldn't wear one however I don't have one to wear and i'm not English.

Lol this thread has been an education.

Everyone should be know to wear a signet ring has been very posh. On the other hand, their other class signifiers have been more noticeable. Look at it this way, I'd tell him to ditch the red trousers first...

I’m curious about whether you will be donating any evil ‘inherited wealth’ you receive to charity? And haven’t accepted any parental financial help so far. If not then putting the ring away is just a meaningless token of woke-ness. (Personally I wouldn’t do either.)

[quote Yellownotblue]@hereyehearye

Who gets this worked up so early in the day? Have some fiber, it will help.[/quote]
yes why would I be bothered by class inequality?

I should be worried about my husband's jewelry instead.

Love the condescension btw. Very "landed gentry".