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To not buy my children anything for Easter

179 replies

AmyandPhilipfan · 30/03/2021 00:51

I have 3 kids and I normally get them some kind of present at Easter - usually toys and/or clothes. But this year it seems like it would just be buying for the sake of buying something. Currently in our house we have 9 Easter eggs (3 each) from friends and family, plus a neighbour will be giving them a couple of small eggs each, and today they each received £10 from another relative.

The two oldest have had birthdays recently and the little one’s birthday is coming up so all have recently received or will receive loads of stuff (as they have lots of aunts and uncles who kindly all buy for them in addition to presents from us).

We’ve implemented a chore system for the 2 oldest in the last few weeks so if they choose to do all their chores they now each end up with over £20 a week to spend on what they want (normally wasted on Robux). And the little one gets things bought as and when really - just this week I’ve bought her a couple of jigsaws and a couple of books.

So I’d say they receive more than enough and I really think I shouldn’t buy them anything. The 3 year old won’t realise she’s missing a present from me but the 12 and 13 year olds will remember they have previously had quite substantial gifts. I don’t want to get them yet another egg as the 13 year old has become quite overweight so I don’t want him to have too much chocolate.

So, AIBU to buy them nothing?

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?


You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.

AdaThorne · 30/03/2021 10:40

We've given up on Easter eggs here too because MIL and GMIL buy so much that there's no point. We'll make some Easter nest chocolate cakes together (shredded wheat and mini eggs ahoy) and I've signed them up for a 5km run/walk thing which, when they complete, they'll get a little medal in the shape of a Lindor bunny with their name engraved on it. They'll be happy enough with that and it gives me a reason to get them out and about a bit and away from Minecraft during the holiday.

dropthedeadhorse · 30/03/2021 10:41

Hmm.. you’ve set a precedent now! I don’t intend on anything more than an egg hunt round the garden with some small Easter eggs (they get enough big ones from relatives) and a fun day painting and rolling eggs. DH’s parents will give them a bunch of clothes and toys which I always think is unnecessary but if they want to do it then great. DHs mum buys them lovely clothes from Next and always pays attention to the kind of clothes they usually wear so I’m just very grateful!

Lyricallie · 30/03/2021 10:44

When I was wee I would get a video as my mum thought we got enough chocolate from everyone else. However I didn't get presents randomly birthday and Christmas but my birthday was very close to Christmas so it was nice to get a present in spring time.

Also a new outfit for church. I thought that was pretty common, I'm pushing 30 so it's not a new thing it anything I thought it was older. Our family still got to church now so maybe if people aren't they might not connect a new outfit to that.

Procrastination4 · 30/03/2021 10:49

No need to buy anything at Easter except for an Easter egg for each of your children, if you wish to. If they are getting them from other people too, you don’t even need to do this. That’s the good thing about Easter- no matter how much the commercial sector try to push consumer spending at Easter, it hasn’t really taken off (or at least, it hasn’t in my country). What would be ideal from a commercial perspective is the ridiculous overspend of Christmas. Thankfully most people don’t bother. Don’t take any notice of what a few misguided people may be doing, buying new clothes and toys. Stick to what you want to do and don’t be pressurised.

AudTheDeepMinded · 30/03/2021 10:55

Just wait until Easter Eve boxes get invented (if they haven't already). People just invent excuses to spend money which heaps pressure on everyone else to conform and be a 'great parent'. Money does not equal love and never will. Our DC get an egg each from us and then from neighbours and GPs. We are awash with chocolate for weeks afterwards, They do not NEED more shite.

Pokercomic · 30/03/2021 10:59

£20 a week for chores....please don’t ever tell my children 🤣😂

Notaroadrunner · 30/03/2021 11:00

We just buy Easter eggs (3 for a fiver). Have never bought clothes or toys. They're unlikely to get any from other people this year because we won't see family. My near 20 year old is the most excited to get Easter eggs!
@AudTheDeepMinded don't even go there 😲 The mere mention of the other ones in December give me the rage.

Biscoffontoast · 30/03/2021 11:08

I normally buy an Easter egg from us (parents), an egg each from my parents who live abroad and some crafty bits such as a colouring book, activity to do etc. We also put on an egg hunt in the garden. I think buying proper presents is silly as it’s not Christmas or a birthday, however it is nice to indulge them a little.

MeadowHay · 30/03/2021 11:12

We often got a small present at Easter but that's because my DPs didn't buy us an egg. I always thought a present was in lieu of an egg really. We got eggs from other relatives and they didn't see the need for us to have even more chocolate to gorge on. Our DC is a toddler and will receive eggs from relatives and I don't want her to eat even more chocolate so we have bought her a couple of books instead of an egg. I've got our niece a small egg and a small present. We used to just buy a present but now she's nearly 6 I think she will be unimpressed by the practical gifts we tend to buy and we don't want to be super boring relatives that don't get her an Easter egg so we are compromising Grin

AmyandPhilipfan · 30/03/2021 11:15

Sorry I disappeared. Went to bed and been spending time with the kids this morning.

I do appreciate that they do get a lot of pocket money now but it is a new thing that has been introduced for a variety of reasons I won’t go into and there are certain conditions that must be met before it’s received. The idea is that they will soon learn (once things hopefully open again) that now they’re getting older and will be wanting to go to the cinema with friends, McDonald’s, arcades, buying certain trainers etc they will need money. And this will be it. If they don’t have money to get a burger with their mates that will be their problem and they can’t go. Last few years we’ve gone away to a caravan site once a year and have given them money for the arcades but won’t anymore because it’s up to them to save this. And the chores are quite extensive and include cooking family meals so although it is a lot they are doing a lot to get it. In other ways I think I spend a lot less on them than some families - no Christmas Eve boxes, no mounds of presents on Christmas Day just a main gift and a stocking, the one present they’ve asked for on birthdays etc. And when I gave presents for Easter before it was generally summer clothes that I would have given anyway but wrapped up to look a bit more special and a ball or something but this year I really don’t think they need new clothes plus they now have their own money to buy some if they want.

But thanks for all the responses. I will tell them not to expect anything from us.

OP posts:
SerialSpringCleaner · 30/03/2021 11:23

2 Easter Eggs each and a lamb roast on Easter Sunday. That's us and that's it. No one is invited.

Some people get really get up about Easter even though they spend the rest of the year breaking most Christian commandments.

I deliberately play down Easter so I don't get lumbered with all the wifey work as I do at Christmas but that has stopped too

Dowser · 30/03/2021 11:24

Cor my kids got a chocolate egg each
Now the 6 grandkids get a chocolate egg and a tenner each.
They don’t have a lot of relatives left tnough

merryhouse · 30/03/2021 11:24

From page 1: oooh, a packet of seeds! Brilliant idea. Get sunflowers and see which one is the tallest.

Bbq1 · 30/03/2021 11:24


Bbq1 you are right. Easter is the most important Christian celebration, the whole point of Christianity tbh. But really is there anything going on outside of a church in Northern Europe? You don´t get the feel of Easter like you do in Southern Europe. Oh well...

Well, we attend church regularly but yes people over here don't celebrate Easter the way they do in traditionally Catholic countries like Spain.
Bbq1 · 30/03/2021 11:28

I like Easter eggs and a nice meal on Easter Sunday toobut for so many people it's all about the eggs, presents etc without giving a passing thought to the meaning or history of Easter either Christianity or even Germanic. Sad really. Without meaning behind it, surely it becomes a bit meaningless?

Jessica60 · 30/03/2021 11:29

£20 each a week, is that a typo?

CuthbertDibbleandGrubb · 30/03/2021 11:34

You have decided to give them money which is earned, instead of choosing for them. I think your approach is spot on and also that you are going to tell them now not wait until Sunday.

Kottbullar · 30/03/2021 11:35

My anti-sugar parents always bought a book for Easter and my devout Catholic Grandma bought us a fancy outfit, my other Grandma bought us a luxury egg which was the only one we'd be allowed to eat. There would be an elaborate treasure hunt to find our gifts.

Now my parents buy my children a book, PIL buy them an outfit and we do them an egg hunt.

UserTwice · 30/03/2021 11:46

£20 a week would be a lot for even older teens that are paying for their own socialising etc. My older teens get half that and seem to manage perfectly well. And we don't pay them for chores because helping with the cleaning and cooking dinner is part of their contribution to living in the house.

In response to your question OP - I think parents that go all out on holidays generally do so because their children don't get much the rest of the time. In your case, your children are getting more money than they know what to do with (if they are mostly spending it on Robux) so clearly don't actually want for anything.

Norwaydidnthappen · 30/03/2021 11:57

It can get silly, I agree. I always buy my DC an egg each and usually a chocolate bunny and a book each too. They don’t get many from family so we’re rarely inundated with chocolate but if they were, I probably would only buy the books.

Bbq1 · 30/03/2021 12:18


I've cut back this Easter, due to lockdown they have clothes that they had for Christmas that have never been put on their backs and multiple pairs of trainers that have never hit the tarmac so I won't be buying outfits this year. They are older so tend not to play with toys so I won't be buying those this year either. I have got them a few eggs for an egg hunt but instead of presents we sat together and arranged an Easter Funday (which we will probably spread out over the weekend). We have set up a little movie corner in the living room, planned snacks, put up decorations and printed out tickets, the kids have picked out a movie they all agree on (a miracle in itself!). They have picked out a 'special' dinner - of all the things they could have had they have decided on hotdogs/ burgers, fries and milkshake. We've arranged a sports day with races, egg and spoon, hopping race etc - I purchased wooden spoons that they can decorate with crafty stuff before the race if they wish, an air horn, marking cones and an inexpensive trophy for the winner from Amazon - this will now be up for grabs on family games nights etc.
We have a paint fight arranged, I purchased coveralls, goggles, seat protecters for the car, super soakers and kid friendly paint, we are going to fill the pistols up, hit a quiet open space and let them go crazy and cover eachother (and us Confused ). Just thinking maybe this could be an option instead of traditional gifts, making it more about time together than 'stuff' and buying for the sake of buying.

This is cutting down?! How old are your kids, @coffee mocha? I'm assuming you have a large secluded garden for 'sports day' or your neighbours are going to hate hearing an air horn being used every few minutes? You point out your paint is 'kid friendly' but more to the point is it environmentally friendly? The thought of a family going wild spraying paint all over a local beauty spot is appalling. Why not just use water? Sorry, but also exactly how does does spray painting the outdoors link in to Easter?
Shikamiri · 30/03/2021 13:21

I dont even buy my kids easter eggs. they normally get one from somewhere or another, it goes in the cupboard, gets smashed up and I get to clear up the bits and bin it. Presents????

Coffeemocha · 30/03/2021 13:44

We are a family that collects rubbish to be put in the bin when out and about, we always take a bag and have made it a game to collect stray coffee cups, plastic etc my children do this now without thinking, we like to leave a place a bit better than when we arrived. The paint is the non toxic, child friendly, finger paint type paint that will be watered down and is easily washed away, the goal is for the kids to 'splat' each other not their surroundings but I have considered the environment. The place we plan to go is a gravelled patch of waste land not the woods, beach or a country park. I would love to have a garden big enough to be able to do this at home. As always, any mess we make will be taken care of before we leave.

Flowers24 · 30/03/2021 13:49

I buy eggs and also money. When younger they had egg and a toy or clothes, grandparents always used to buy them new outfits for Easter

SionnachRua · 30/03/2021 14:00

Genuinely didn't know that people bought kids presents at Easter (other than chocolate) before MN. I'm still not completely sure if it's an MN myth like living off one chicken for a week tbh.

Anyway, live and let live. I'd have said 3 eggs each is plenty though! Wouldn't feel a shred of guilt at not doing any extras.

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