Double standards on mn.

[thatwasme22]

This week so far:

1. I have seen various posters defend Caroline Flack for having issues. Maybe she did but then the same argument would not be made on Chris Browne.

1. A thread on the physical attractiveness on male politicians. Imagine a male forum did this on females.

1. A thread with a woman hiding her inheritance from her husband and encouraged to do so by many posters and him being called financially abusive for being sensible over money. When men do this on mn it's all ltb.

Am I missing something? I call myself a feminist so am pro equality and that's how I raised my kids but why is this not being called out on mn?

That's an interesting point @MiddlesexGirl - the last thread I saw about a female politician was related to Priti Patel. I can't stand her politics but as far as I am concerned, that should be the only thing she is judged on.

Plenty of women ended up discussing her weight, her marriage etc and the thread was pulled.

Recently a thread about rishi sunak being dishy rishy etc and women on there stating 'never marry a short man' and other such bullshit.

Both threads were awful. I happily voiced my opinions on both. Only the Priti Patel thread was removed I think because the comments were showing a lot of internalised misogyny.

Non-political posts about politicians really should be avoided. People think they can rip into politicians, including their appearance, as much as they like and with people egging each other on it makes for horrible reading

@CandyLeBonBon

That's an interesting point *@MiddlesexGirl* - the last thread I saw about a female politician was related to Priti Patel. I can't stand her politics but as far as I am concerned, that should be the only thing she is judged on.

Plenty of women ended up discussing her weight, her marriage etc and the thread was pulled.

Recently a thread about rishi sunak being dishy rishy etc and women on there stating 'never marry a short man' and other such bullshit.

Both threads were awful. I happily voiced my opinions on both. Only the Priti Patel thread was removed I think because the comments were showing a lot of internalised misogyny.

Dishy rishy not envy

Agreed @JamesMiddletonsMarshmallows - I can't stand twee nicknames either @Butwasitherdriveway - I mean I have no strong feelings either way as far as Sunak is concerned but I really hate the red-tops' need to make everything so reductive. Rather like all their cringe-inducing headlines. I wonder if they're all falling over themselves with self-congratulation when they come up with their ridiculous guff.

😬

@CandyLeBonBon

Agreed *@JamesMiddletonsMarshmallows - I can't stand twee nicknames either @Butwasitherdriveway* - I mean I have no strong feelings either way as far as Sunak is concerned but I really hate the red-tops' need to make everything so reductive. Rather like all their cringe-inducing headlines. I wonder if they're all falling over themselves with self-congratulation when they come up with their ridiculous guff.

😬

Jacqueline jossa has done some fab things about them (sorry , slebs again).

She ridicules their DM headlines.

I shall take look

You are literally a 'sleb encyclopaedia!

@CandyLeBonBon

You are literally a 'sleb encyclopaedia!

I am.

Celebrities would be my mastermind subject.

''LOL comparing Caroline Flack to Chris Brown hospitalizing Rihanna and nearly killing her.''

eugh and that's everything wrong with dm, it's ALL wrong.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4209752-Teen-Sleepovers?pg=2

Here is a thread which is good example of double standards. The 15 yo son wants to have a sleepover with 2 16 yo girls and posters are saying it is fine. Can you imagine it was reverse gender??

Its not a double standard if its you saying 'can you imagine if the position was reversed. Thats just you ignoring the first 4 responses, cherry picking the others, and using your imagination.

@thatwasme22

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4209752-Teen-Sleepovers?pg=2

Here is a thread which is good example of double standards. The 15 yo son wants to have a sleepover with 2 16 yo girls and posters are saying it is fine. Can you imagine it was reverse gender??

I just looked at that. Only saw the first few comments but all of those were saying 'no'. So not really seeing how that supports your argument.

I'm actually more concerned about the double standard of referring to the year 11 girls as 'forward' when it comes to boys. I mean if that isn't a good old-fashioned sexist value judgement I don't know what is!

You're clutching OP. Both your pearls, and at straws!

''You're clutching OP. Both your pearls, and at straws!''

no read the full thread, many say it is ok as 15 yo boys will have sex anyway. I would love to see the reaction if on a men's forum or even on mn posters were dare to suggest a 15 yo girl can go for a sleep over with 2 16 yo boys. Or worse the reaction if a father was encoureged by other men on a forum to let his 15 yo daughter to sleep over with 2 older boys. All hell would break loose.

A good one this morning

A gent posted a long, heartfelt post about the lack of affection in his marriage.

Comment two 'have you ever thought why she doesn't want to have sex with you' and a few comments along the lines of we'll put up and shut up.

If a woman posted that?

@Butwasitherdriveway

A good one this morning

A gent posted a long, heartfelt post about the lack of affection in his marriage.

Comment two 'have you ever thought why she doesn't want to have sex with you' and a few comments along the lines of we'll put up and shut up.

If a woman posted that?

Got a link?

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/4211715-She-is-not-interested pumper

Thanks @Butwasitherdriveway

I’m not sure that’s a good example of a double standard though - you have no idea if that poster would say differently to a woman.

And I know we’re not supposed to discuss other threads in great detail but I’d say there’s massively more misogyny on that thread than anything else - did you miss the poster who said his wife should be having sex because he’s the wage earner?

I also see you’ve derailed that thread quite a bit with your insistence that the OP would have got different responses if he’d been female, which seems to be a chip on your shoulder for some reason. But you also say on the thread that the way the OP has behaved - withholding affection and sulking - is off putting. I can’t know for certain but I’m fairly sure the responses would be the same if the OP was female, because that’s horrible, unsexy behaviour.

@Pumperthepumper

Thanks *@Butwasitherdriveway*

I’m not sure that’s a good example of a double standard though - you have no idea if that poster would say differently to a woman.

And I know we’re not supposed to discuss other threads in great detail but I’d say there’s massively more misogyny on that thread than anything else - did you miss the poster who said his wife should be having sex because he’s the wage earner?

I also see you’ve derailed that thread quite a bit with your insistence that the OP would have got different responses if he’d been female, which seems to be a chip on your shoulder for some reason. But you also say on the thread that the way the OP has behaved - withholding affection and sulking - is off putting. I can’t know for certain but I’m fairly sure the responses would be the same if the OP was female, because that’s horrible, unsexy behaviour.

Derailed?

No.

God that word haunts me. Derailed on MN means had a different opinion.

It's not a chip on my shoulder. It's a fact that really let's the site down.

No. The responses would be sympathetic. You are a regular enough user to know that pumper.

You can genuinely say with a straight face that if a woman posted about missing sex and affection with her husband people would comment and say no wonder he doesn't want to have sex with you?

You're either naive, or being deliberately obtuse.

@Butwasitherdriveway

You can genuinely say with a straight face that if a woman posted about missing sex and affection with her husband people would comment and say no wonder he doesn't want to have sex with you?

You're either naive, or being deliberately obtuse.

Yes I do think a woman behaving like that would get the same response. That’s not healthy behaviour in a relationship, it’s horrible to be guilt tripped into sex but also denied basic affection. It’s toxic.

I don’t really know what you’re hoping for with your insistence that mumsnet - a female-dominated forum - is biased towards women and that’s a massive issue. If that OP (did he return to the thread?) wanted advice, why choose mumsnet if it’s so unfair to men?

And derailed doesn’t mean a different opinion, it means haranguing other posters about mythical situations (what if the OP was female?!) instead of dealing with the issue in the OP. What difference does it make to that man if you think people would have given different responses to a woman? Do you think he cares?

Yes, because after the pounding he's took, I think it's helpful to remind posters of that.

I don't answer to you

@Butwasitherdriveway

Yes, because after the pounding he's took, I think it's helpful to remind posters of that.

I don't answer to you

What does ‘I don’t answer to you mean?’ You don’t want to answer what difference it makes?

No, I don't have to justify to you why I'm choosing to say the things I want to on a different thread

@Butwasitherdriveway

No, I don't have to justify to you why I'm choosing to say the things I want to on a different thread

Ok, seems strange you’d bring that thread to this one then but fine, we don’t have to talk about it.

Generally then, why is it so important to you that we always consider the sex of the poster before giving advice?

@Butwasitherdriveway

You can genuinely say with a straight face that if a woman posted about missing sex and affection with her husband people would comment and say no wonder he doesn't want to have sex with you?

You're either naive, or being deliberately obtuse.

Women do post about it, the advice is usually overwhelmingly to leave and find someone who will meet their needs. That thread is depressing, and of course the responses are different as it's a bloke.