Page 26 | Not a stealth brag... Tips on raising an exceptionally beautiful child.

Trytrytryasimight · 2021-03-29T06:54:36+00:00

I know. I'm cringing at the thread title too. I'm absolutely average, so is her dad. She happens to have an aunt who is an outlier in their family that looks like Claudia schiffer, and seems to have inherited all of her looks from her. She's all rosy cheeks enormous green eyes and a mass of curly blond hair that never seems disheveled. She chooses her own clothes, keeps them nicely and puts them together so she looks fabulous every time. She is that child and this is through no effort of my own - I was more of an awkward indie kid through my tweens and teens. I can see other girls want to be her friend cause she's fun and kind but then look decidedly jeolous and irritated at dds clothes, hair, general oh wow look I'm so perfect and yet so pretty unspoken general vibe. She's 12 and we've noticed teachers, club leaders, family members do seem to give her some kind of preferential treatment and I think it's becuase she is very compliant to adults and also very pretty she is.she is also genuinely good hearted and we've never had any reason to think she is unkind to others. I want to guide her as best I can, as having an opposite experience of my looks growing up and generally being fairly invisible, I don't really know what you to help someone not place too much worth in their looks while acknowledging it's a lovely thing to be beautiful. Any advice on how to raise a particularly good looking child??

Anon778833 · 01/04/2021 15:44

People seem to boast more about their child’s academic ability than anything else ime

TableFlowerss · 01/04/2021 16:10

@DrManhattan

Doesn't every parent think their child is exceptional. Think its just a genetic response.

Exactly! This thread illustrates it perfectly

23PissOffAvenueWF · 01/04/2021 19:39

The OP is clearly talking about other people’s reactions and perceptions to her child, though.

Ginuwine · 01/04/2021 22:10

@23PissOffAvenueWF

The OP is clearly talking about other people’s reactions and perceptions to her child, though.

This!!

But unfortunately the OP dared to do it in a forum where sharing your lived experienced will always be denied by those itching to shout you down and tell you you can't have possibly experienced this because statistically most children aren't that beautiful etc etc

ForwardRanger · 01/04/2021 22:57

@DrManhattan

Doesn't every parent think their child is exceptional. Think its just a genetic response.

No. It is normal to love your children and see them through rosy tinted glasses but any sane person knows the difference between a good looking kid and one who is exceptionally beautiful.

TableFlowerss · 01/04/2021 23:42

**This!!

But unfortunately the OP dared to do it in a forum where sharing your lived experienced will always be denied by those itching to shout you down and tell you you can't have possibly experienced this because statistically most children aren't that beautiful etc etc hmm**

Or probably more to the point - that most teaches or people wouldn’t treat people differently, based on their appearance because they would be discrimination!

TableFlowerss · 01/04/2021 23:47

To add- the op’s daughter sounds like a lovely child, so teachers/club leaders are probably happy to have a compliant child with a pleasant disposition.

23PissOffAvenueWF · 02/04/2021 01:15

Or probably more to the point - that most teaches or people wouldn’t treat people differently, based on their appearance because they would be discrimination!

Well, yes, if you’re a teacher, or in the workplace, or trying to rent a flat, or something - it would be discrimination.

But day-to-day life? Of course people get treated differently, for one reason or another, all the time! It’s disingenuous to pretend otherwise.

TableFlowerss · 02/04/2021 10:17

@23PissOffAvenueWF

Or probably more to the point - that most teaches or people wouldn’t treat people differently, based on their appearance because they would be discrimination!

Well, yes, if you’re a teacher, or in the workplace, or trying to rent a flat, or something - it would be discrimination.

But day-to-day life? Of course people get treated differently, for one reason or another, all the time! It’s disingenuous to pretend otherwise.

I don’t disagree with you in some respects, but my point is, the OP is sure it’s because of how beautiful DD is and that’s the only reason she gets treated ‘differently’.

That may be the case, but equally it may be because she’s a lovely child and OP is so focused on the looks aspect that she thinks that must be the only reason....

TableFlowerss · 02/04/2021 10:19

To add - Other people might not be that in ‘awe’ of a person ‘beauty’.

CounsellorTroi · 02/04/2021 10:21

@TableFlowerss

**This!!

But unfortunately the OP dared to do it in a forum where sharing your lived experienced will always be denied by those itching to shout you down and tell you you can't have possibly experienced this because statistically most children aren't that beautiful etc etc hmm**

Or probably more to the point - that most teaches or people wouldn’t treat people differently, based on their appearance because they would be discrimination!

Have you heard of unconscious bias?

Totallyfedup1979 · 02/04/2021 10:36

Hi op

My son is extremely handsome and that has come with it’s fair share of problems.

On the one hand I am super proud, he is 15; 6’2” tall; has perfect light tan skin; naturally highlighted thick hair; full lips; big green eyes; white straight teeth; strong jaw line, not too big; thick brows and long lashes. He also does a lot of exercise so is in great physical shape. He has been physically blessed and all of his life I’ve had people stop me to tell me what a good looking young man he is or to ask me if he would model.

On the other hand, his looks have caused him to be bullied relentlessly; he’s been called names like ‘gay, arrogant, full of yourself etc’. Despite being utterly gorgeous, he has the lowest self esteem and is very critical of himself. Girls pay attention to him, which draws further negative attention from lads. He’s been punched in the face and had it filmed. He’s had a boy threaten to stab him when the boys girlfriend followed my son on Instagram. He even grew his hair out so it hung in front of his face.

So cute; good looking; beautiful children have it as hard as any other teenager really.

I will caveat all this by saying, there was a girl in my year group at school who was stunning. Exotically beautiful. She seemed perfect at the age of 16/17.
Her beauty did not translate well into adulthood. Meanwhile, I was a complete ugly ducking at school...I was gangly, bug eyed and goofy - I can’t even bear to look at my school photos. But by the age of 20 I was very pleased with how I looked and at 40, I know I’m pretty hot .

SmellsLikeWineIGuess · 02/04/2021 10:41

What do you want us to say @Totallyfedup1979?

Fall at your feet because you ended up so much better looking than your pretty 16YO friend? Be in awe of your good looking son?

This thread really is not bringing out the best in people.

KarensChoppyBob · 02/04/2021 10:43

I'm cringing badly for everyone on this anonymous forum.

TableFlowerss · 02/04/2021 10:48

To me, my DD is particularly lovely looking. I’ve had numerous people say in the past how beautiful she is. Big eyes, full lips and other things that are generally associated with beauty, very symmetrical face...

Several people have said she should be a child model over the years and I quite agree I wouldn’t pursue that though.

She also happens to be clever - predicted all A* at GCSE and was always really popular at school, but she is a lovely child.

I know teachers favour her, she was picked as school representative from over 100 kids, main part in the school plays etc...but it’s because she’s a lovely kid and gets on with work etc...and I sometimes feel like the parents of others kids in the past have been a bit off because she does seem to have it all.

So I can relate to having an attractive child but thankfully I can focus on her academic achievements. With the right make up many people can look more attractive so to me it’s ‘mehhhh’, beauty isn’t everything.

She knows she’s lovely looking, but I say that’s not enough to relay on to get you through life. It’s got benefits, but it has negatives as well. She needs to keep focus and continue to work hard at school and continue being the lovely girl she is and that’s what counts!

Letsallscreamatthesistene · 02/04/2021 10:50

@Totallyfedup1979

Hi op

My son is extremely handsome and that has come with it’s fair share of problems.

On the one hand I am super proud, he is 15; 6’2” tall; has perfect light tan skin; naturally highlighted thick hair; full lips; big green eyes; white straight teeth; strong jaw line, not too big; thick brows and long lashes. He also does a lot of exercise so is in great physical shape. He has been physically blessed and all of his life I’ve had people stop me to tell me what a good looking young man he is or to ask me if he would model.

On the other hand, his looks have caused him to be bullied relentlessly; he’s been called names like ‘gay, arrogant, full of yourself etc’. Despite being utterly gorgeous, he has the lowest self esteem and is very critical of himself. Girls pay attention to him, which draws further negative attention from lads. He’s been punched in the face and had it filmed. He’s had a boy threaten to stab him when the boys girlfriend followed my son on Instagram. He even grew his hair out so it hung in front of his face.

So cute; good looking; beautiful children have it as hard as any other teenager really.

I will caveat all this by saying, there was a girl in my year group at school who was stunning. Exotically beautiful. She seemed perfect at the age of 16/17.
Her beauty did not translate well into adulthood. Meanwhile, I was a complete ugly ducking at school...I was gangly, bug eyed and goofy - I can’t even bear to look at my school photos. But by the age of 20 I was very pleased with how I looked and at 40, I know I’m pretty hot .

What a lovely post, filled to the brim with humilty.

Totallyfedup1979 · 02/04/2021 10:52

@SmellsLikeWineIGuess

What do you want us to say *@Totallyfedup1979*?

Fall at your feet because you ended up so much better looking than your pretty 16YO friend? Be in awe of your good looking son?

This thread really is not bringing out the best in people.

Well that would be nice thank you.

TableFlowerss · 02/04/2021 10:52

That was for the benefit of those saying “people are just jealous” I can assure you, I know I’m lucky and my DC had looks and brains... I’ll focus on the latter as I still think looks are subjective’

Totallyfedup1979 · 02/04/2021 10:53

@Letsallscreamatthesistene

Perhaps it how you read it.

SmidgenofaPigeon · 02/04/2021 10:54

I’m cringing a lot too.

It’s perfectly normal to think your child is beautiful.

My friend posts endless photos of her 7 month old girl on Facebook. With descriptions like ‘lips and eyes to die for!’ Along with the little emojis. I find it really gross. She’s a baby. Why are you fetishising her facial features?! Constant posts about how gorgeous the baby is, how pretty, how pouty her lips are etc....

And actually after giving it some thought I suspect it’s because she herself was never the ‘pretty one’ or celebrated for her looks so ages going to do her damndest to make sure her daughter is. Which is really quite sad.

TableFlowerss · 02/04/2021 11:00

@SmidgenofaPigeon

I’m cringing a lot too.

It’s perfectly normal to think your child is beautiful.

My friend posts endless photos of her 7 month old girl on Facebook. With descriptions like ‘lips and eyes to die for!’ Along with the little emojis. I find it really gross. She’s a baby. Why are you fetishising her facial features?! Constant posts about how gorgeous the baby is, how pretty, how pouty her lips are etc....

And actually after giving it some thought I suspect it’s because she herself was never the ‘pretty one’ or celebrated for her looks so ages going to do her damndest to make sure her daughter is. Which is really quite sad.

Exactly- everyone thinks their own child is beautiful so the parents judgement alone has to be taken with a pinch of salt

Totallyfedup1979 · 02/04/2021 11:01

@SmidgenofaPigeon

I’m cringing a lot too.

It’s perfectly normal to think your child is beautiful.

My friend posts endless photos of her 7 month old girl on Facebook. With descriptions like ‘lips and eyes to die for!’ Along with the little emojis. I find it really gross. She’s a baby. Why are you fetishising her facial features?! Constant posts about how gorgeous the baby is, how pretty, how pouty her lips are etc....

And actually after giving it some thought I suspect it’s because she herself was never the ‘pretty one’ or celebrated for her looks so ages going to do her damndest to make sure her daughter is. Which is really quite sad.

You are probably right.

As I say, in school I was a horror and made to feel that way. Even my own mother used to despair that I was so ugly, I was often punished for it and I was always compared to my cute cousins. I remember my paternal Nan saying I’d never be what they were to my mother and other relatives insinuating there was no point trying to polish a turd.

So today, I probably put more emphasis on looks than the average person.

TableFlowerss · 02/04/2021 11:01

Have you heard of unconscious bias

Quite but equally a mother’s bias is some accolade too...

KarensChoppyBob · 02/04/2021 11:07

Besides people being convinced their dc are outstandingly beautiful , which I get is human nature, flagging up her "compliance" with adults as a positive trait in a young girl really troubles me.

I don't think I need to explain there?

Salarymallory · 02/04/2021 11:08

@TableFlowerss

*Have you heard of unconscious bias*

Quite but equally a mother’s bias is some accolade too...

What do you mean? That doesn’t make sense