To think boarding school is cruel?

[MinnieMous3]

I really can’t understand why anyone would send a child under 16 to boarding school (unless, say, they had such challenging behaviour the family could no longer manage it).

I feel like even if the child enjoys it, it won’t sit right with them in future that their parents were happy to optionally spend so little time with them.

There were also a lot of interesting posts on the previous thread from partners of people who went to boarding school, and how it impacts their lives today.

@Anne1958

Do wives in these "army families" have to move with their husbands? Why can't they stay with the kids? Why can't the kids move with them?

For some families the marriage is all about the wants of the husband and wife coming first. We’re an ex military family. We did 30 years and being around those who chose boarding for their children had very interesting dynamics going.

No they don't have to move (I don't know who posted that bit).

We have lived 15 years separately to my husband / kids dad.

No they don't have to move (I don't know who posted that bit)

Sorry. Yes I knew that but the highlighted part of my post that was a question from a previous poster wasn’t highlighted.

What makes you qualified to judge parents and their choices?

I find your post goady and unnecessary, and another example why parents especially mothers suffer from so many insecurities over fear of being judged.

For what it's worth I personally wouldn't send my child either but I would never judge someone who did - everyone's parent style is different and as long as their child is safe then you do not have the right to judge others parental choices.

@lovevlyt what does goady mean?

[quote MinnieMous3]@lovevlyt what does goady mean?[/quote]
Wind up

No, genuine question. Does it mean I’ve asked a controversial question?

Yes. But also that your asked it in a way that provokes offence. You could have said 'I find it hard to imagine why capable, happy parents would use a boarding school. Can someone explain their choice please'. That would be a non goady way to do it. Instead you have repeatedly said that you think it lazy, cruel, damaging ec and refused to accept the many positive stories people haw taken time to post.

@MinnieMous3

No, genuine question. Does it mean I’ve asked a controversial question?

I think that question is probably the definition of goady 😆😆

Although I've never used the word and I've only ever heard it on here. I think they just like to sound fancy. 😆😆

@HugeAckmansWife

Yes. But also that your asked it in a way that provokes offence. You could have said 'I find it hard to imagine why capable, happy parents would use a boarding school. Can someone explain their choice please'. That would be a non goady way to do it. Instead you have repeatedly said that you think it lazy, cruel, damaging ec and refused to accept the many positive stories people haw taken time to post.

Well what if i do think it’s lazy? Do I not get to share my opinion on a thread I created? Or must it be watered right down?

Yes! It's not what you've asked it's HOW you asked it - you've basically said in so many words that parents sending kids to boarding school are shit parents which is wrong and ignorant.

What if I started the same post you have about working and non working mothers or breastfeeding vs non breastfeeding parents. Can you see how it could sound judgemental and mean spirited to judge the opposition that doesn't conform to what YOU think is right or wrong in how to parent?

Some kids would probably excel at boarding, some wouldn't and vice Versa - just some some kids are better with a stay at home mom some aren't - because it depends on the family and their circumstances there isn't a one size fits all to parenting.

you've basically said in so many words that parents sending kids to boarding school are shit parents which is wrong and ignorant.

I didn’t say that, so it’s quite ironic you warning me how I ‘word’ things.

@MinnieMous3 you may aswell have - you said you think it's lazy - don't imply something and then back track. Own your words.

[quote lovevlyt]@MinnieMous3 you may aswell have - you said you think it's lazy - don't imply something and then back track. Own your words. [/quote]
I did say lazy, I didn’t say shit. It’s you that said that, if you read it into what I said that’s your projection.

Was the documentary only filmed last year?

It seemed very dated. I'm assumed late 90s early 2000. I know just because it was uploaded last year it doesn't mean it was filmed then.

I was going to say it would be interesting to hear how Amber got on and whether they took her out of the school.

Do any of the army families know anyone that was on it?

Which documentary @RevolvingPivot? I can think of 3

@NeedaLittleNap Hi sorry I meant the one posted at the start of the thread.

I'll tell you the funniest part of all this. That OP, the perfect parent, has been online for a full 24 HOURS goading on this thread for reasons unknown.... Who has been looking after your DD ?!

This sums the whole thread up! She's come on here to wind people up.

*THEY'VE DONE NOTHING GOOD SINCE WW2 BUT COMMIT ATROSICITIES!'

Well, that’s my opinion. *

What would you have done with the Yazidi people on Mt Sinjar? Let all the women and children be raped and killed by ISIS? Run out of food and medical supplies?

That's barbaric.

OP if you're so bored to start silly threads why don't you spend your spare time parenting - that thing you do so much better than everyone else 🙄

A full 24 hours 😂 you mean I’ve posted over the course of 24 hours? Like you, and some others? Not really so unusual given I started the thread?

@CourchevelCornichon

*THEY'VE DONE NOTHING GOOD SINCE WW2 BUT COMMIT ATROSICITIES!'

Well, that’s my opinion. *

What would you have done with the Yazidi people on Mt Sinjar? Let all the women and children be raped and killed by ISIS? Run out of food and medical supplies?

That's barbaric.

My personal belief is that it is our endless meddling which has caused the Middle East to become such an unstable and dangerous place.

@lovevlyt

OP if you're so bored to start silly threads why don't you spend your spare time parenting - that thing you do so much better than everyone else 🙄

You’re getting silly now.

@revolvingpilot sorry, I knew there would be a link somewhere in the last 39 pages but I wasn't going to go through them all again. Yup those little girls "getting over their homesickness" and being coached to keep busy, throw themselves into school life and try not to think about mummy.

There's another about boys at Sunningdale you might find interesting.

You didn't answer my question Op.

In that specific situation, you'd let them all die?

Regardless of what people think of the op's wording, I would say that this has actually been a thought provoking thread- with a variety of opinions from ex-boarders, spouses of ex-boarders, parents with children currently boarding and those who have strong opinions for and against boarding.

So even though it has been a bit of a bum fight at times, I for one have really welcomed reading the range and breadth of experiences on here.