Neighbour's afternoon nap

[hollytrees25]

Hi, we are a family of 4, two DS under 10. We live in a small semi, next door lives a lady, 66, by herself. We get on quite well. Till recently she complained she got woken up from her afternoon naps by the boys. She has nap everyday 2-5pm. Apparently her bedroom is at the front of the house facing front garden on ground floor.

Last week after school the boys' friend down the road came to play with a basketball. Two of them patted and bounced the ball on our drive. This must be quite loud and woke her up from her nap.

She came out to tell me that my son's friend played basketball on the drive and woke her up, (ie not my boys but their friend, think she was being nice) when I got home from work that day. I said sorry I will ask them not to bounce the ball.

This afternoon was good weather the friend came around with the basketball again, I asked the boys to play on the green across the road, they did, but got carried away and the friend bounced the ball on the street a few times, opposite the house, coupled with children's laughters and chattering, which are just high pitched. The lady came out and told the boys calmly 'You woke me up' to which DS said sorry immediately.

DH believes bending over backwards to get on with neighbors, he thinks we should bake her some cakes/cookies to make up. Part of me agree with him, however part of me thinks it's our front garden on a Saturday afternoon, the children were not being particularly disruptive, WWYD?

She sounds like a grumpy miserable old sod, who’s probably forgot she was once a child herself.
Just let your kids and their friends enjoy their outdoor games. They are entitled to exercise and fresh air.. and enjoying life!

Have you recently moved in and upset the status quo? We had a load of problems with a neighbour over parking because the previous owner only had one car and we had 2 which we dated to park outside our own house they were totally unreasonable and over entitled.
If not and you say you have always got on then I would suggest it is the basket ball bouncing that is the issue. I’m assuming your children have always played outside and made the usual noises kids do. If she has never complained before then it probably is down to the very annoying thump of the ball. So in which case I don’t think she’s so unreasonable as it might first look

Is she disabled with a condition you can't see? Unable to get upstairs? suffering fatigue ?

I am all for getting on with neighbours but seriously tell the old bat to fuck off and that the whole street can't dance to the tune of her afternoon naps, buy her some ear plugs and buy your husband a back bone whilst your shopping

If it was late at night or early in the morning then fair enough but expecting you to keep your kids quiet or not let them play out between 2-5 pm is unreasonable! If you give in to this OP I guarantee you she will get more and more demanding, tell the miserable cow to invest in some ear plugs they don't cost much!

I would love considerate neighbours like you OP I've had many nightmare neighbours over the years the worst being the upstairs neighbour blaring loud music all night long until about 6 or 7am when he went to sleep all day and I was working shifts at the time, I politely asked them if they could turn it down at night and they agreed before ignoring me and turning it up even louder! After months of sleepless nights, oversleeping resulting in me being late for work a few times (thankfully my manager was aware of it and very understanding), endless complaints to the housing who did sweet FA I called environmental health out on them and thats when the gloves came off the husband had the utter cheek to bang my door down at 11pm at night pissed and stoned out of his brains (you could smell the booze and weed a mile away) to tell me he didn't appreciate me "grassing us up to the authorities" and I should have spoke to him first! I was so pissed off I told him rather rudely that I did ask nicely and his response was to turn it up louder and if they continue then he better expect environmental health to pay him a visit and then I slammed the door in his face! This went on for months and envirommental health just told them turn it down and they did for an hour before starting up again. My friend then told me to give them a taste of their own medicine so I did. I bought a cheesy pop songs CD, put it on early afternoon time full blast on repeat and I went out all day and didn't return until about half 9 that night and turned it off when I got in. My NDN knocked and I apologised to her but explained why I did it and she burst out laughing and told me that whilst it annoyed her it had pissed off upstairs neighbour that he had come down and knocked on my door funnily enough a few more times of doing this and he finally got the message and stopped! They moved out a little while after and the new tenants are just as noisy they stomp around like a herd of elephants all hours of the day and night its driven me nuts through lockdown I can tell you! Sorry to cheekily hijack your thread OP didn't mean to go into a fill blown rant feel free to tell me to sod off lol

I would say "I'm sorry kids make noise , and no matter how much I like you , they live here too. So as long as it isn't at 11pm at night or unreasonable hours, I'm sorry but they will play when and where they like , within reason and whilst I don't want to fall out with you , I'm not being unreasonable here. "

I'm 51 and I love an afternoon nap. Indeed I had one this afternoon and I reckon it was around 3 hours. I don't expect the world to tiptoe around me though - except ddog. I did tell him to shut up his barking. He did and soon snuggled up with me on the sofa. He loves a good nap too! I can sleep through anything. Basketballs can be a bit heavy and loud however. Earplugs might not help. It might be the banging they make - like music with a heavy bass. That you can't escape from and that could drive someone batty. Especially bouncing on concrete and walls. Only you know (and her 🤔) how bad it actually was.

A ball bouncing repeatedly is a bit torturous. It drove me nuts when my neighbours kid went through that stage and my kids were the same age as hers.
Just to be nice I’d limit the kids to a couple of hours a day of repeated ball bouncing and late night noise, but otherwise I’d not give in to any of her unreasonable demands.
She’s living next to a family. Normal decent neighbourly consideration but other than that you need to live your lives.

Whilst I've got ebery sympathy for lonely der people, mental health issues (me being one of them ) I would try and accommodate her but it isn't unreasonable to be able to expect kids to be able to play on their own street .

Every*

SIBU. Kids will be kids and it’s the middle of the daytime. Maybe politely suggest she buys a white noise machine to drown out the noise?

Bake some cookies with a wrapped present of ear plugs attached with a note, politely explaining that while you sympathise with her demands there is no legal requirement to tell your children to not live just because she needs to nap. X

Laughing at all the 66 is not old protestations. Yes it’s old. Get over it

@HeelsHandbagPerfumeCoffee

Laughing at all the 66 is not old protestations. Yes it’s old. Get over it

No it isn't old get over yourself

Get over yer self 66 it’s old. Fact. It’s not pejorative or incorrect 66 is old
So if 66 is not old what is it then?youthful?middle aged? 66 is referral to older adult team age

@HeelsHandbagPerfumeCoffee

Get over yer self 66 it’s old. Fact. It’s not pejorative or incorrect 66 is old So if 66 is not old what is it then?youthful?middle aged? 66 is referral to older adult team age

86 is old not 66. It's late middle age

66 you can refer to an older adult team. It’s not Middle Age
Old isn’t a pejorative thing but pretending 66 is not old, is that vanity an affectation?

@HeelsHandbagPerfumeCoffee

66 you can refer to an older adult team. It’s not Middle Age Old isn’t a pejorative thing but pretending 66 is not old, is that vanity an affectation?

What's the older adult team? It's not vanity or affectation it's fact 66 is not old

66 it’s old. In health, in social care that the age group of older adult teams clients
Older adult (⬅️clue is in the title)

Me given half a chance Sadly I am usually woken by the noise from kids at the park near my house, people walking past the house or by cars driving past, after about 2 hours or my partner & my own kid wake me

Lazy old sod napping in the midlldle of the day! I know plenty of people her age who are either still working or have more energy than 40 year olds. If she chooses to nap, rhen that is her problem, but don't turn it into your problem. Gift her some earplugs and spell it out for her.

Bake the cookies, build relationship.
After a while she will probably mellow. If she is having afternoon nap maybe she has health problems and bouncing balls can be annoying when you are awake let alone asleep but I get it’s part of growing up

For goodness sake! Of course it's preferable to get on with neighbours. But not one who thinks you should tiptoe about in mid afternoon! She has two children next door for gods sake. Very, very selfish of her. Suggest she has triple glazing etc. I would say to her I am sorry if our children playing wakes you up. But mid afternoon that's what they should be doing. If they were waking her at 11pm that would be very different. It's not your fault she has a 3 hour sleep in the daytime! She must have a deficiency of some kind. My father's 94 and doesn't sleep for 3 hours in a afternoon.

Shouldn't need a 3hour nap!! Go to Dr's get blood test

Older adult does not ="old" adult