Neighbour's afternoon nap

[hollytrees25]

Hi, we are a family of 4, two DS under 10. We live in a small semi, next door lives a lady, 66, by herself. We get on quite well. Till recently she complained she got woken up from her afternoon naps by the boys. She has nap everyday 2-5pm. Apparently her bedroom is at the front of the house facing front garden on ground floor.

Last week after school the boys' friend down the road came to play with a basketball. Two of them patted and bounced the ball on our drive. This must be quite loud and woke her up from her nap.

She came out to tell me that my son's friend played basketball on the drive and woke her up, (ie not my boys but their friend, think she was being nice) when I got home from work that day. I said sorry I will ask them not to bounce the ball.

This afternoon was good weather the friend came around with the basketball again, I asked the boys to play on the green across the road, they did, but got carried away and the friend bounced the ball on the street a few times, opposite the house, coupled with children's laughters and chattering, which are just high pitched. The lady came out and told the boys calmly 'You woke me up' to which DS said sorry immediately.

DH believes bending over backwards to get on with neighbors, he thinks we should bake her some cakes/cookies to make up. Part of me agree with him, however part of me thinks it's our front garden on a Saturday afternoon, the children were not being particularly disruptive, WWYD?

@dontdisturbmenow

Two of them patted and bounced the ball on our drive This is the absolute worse sound and I too would go crazy with this right next to my house.

Scooters on tarmac right outside my window too, the noise just seems to vibrate through me. Our previous neighbour used to bounce a ball on his living room floor, and it would come through on our floor too.

Buy her some earplugs and a note to tell her that the children need to be able to play outside after being at school all day

She’s being extremely unreasonable.she can’t expect everyone to be quiet because she chooses to nap in the day time. I do shift work and if I’ve been on nights I put ear plugs in I don’t expect my neighbours kids to stay quiet!

Why not let the children play at the back of your house in the yard/garden?
I assume that you're in the US.

Has he baked the cookies yet?

Just let your kids get on with being kids. Suggest that your neighbour naps with the radio on so it isn’t so distracting.
But, sod the whinging!

Bake her cakes? Noone respects a licky arse. She will have the upper hand and use it full force. Tell her weekends there are going to be kids round. But during week we will try and observe nap time. Is she unwell@hollytrees25? Why the old person naps?

I can well understand the frustration of balls being continually bounced, sometimes when the person is just talking and not playing. It's a mind-numbing repetitive nuisance same as motorcycles when switched on BEFORE the rider takes 15 minutes to put on helmet and gloves and keeps talking loudly over the noise.
My answer when they don't turn off the engine after a polite request, is to fill a large jug with water and throw it right over them.

You are not doing anything wrong. If the lady wants an afternoon nap and finds it difficult to do so because of the noise (any noise not just your boys) she should buy herself some ear plugs, or turn on some music to drown out the background sounds.
It is both unrealistic and unfair to expect your boys to creep around for her benefit. This should be explained to her as calmly but firmly as possible.
If the noise was happening late at night it would be different - we have a right to peace at nighttime, but not during the day.
Hope this can all be resolved amicably. I like the idea of baking cakes for her.

I'm currently on a round of chemo and whilst younger than her am napping during the day.

Nothing would wake me. She needs to get a hold of herself.

She needs earplugs.

If she chooses to have a nap during the day in order to stay up later that is her prerogative. The kids have no choice as to what time they go to bed.

Let them play.

I’d explain kids will make noise and that unfortunately once they are home from school it’s unfortunate.

@Dontwanttolivewithmylover

I can well understand the frustration of balls being continually bounced, sometimes when the person is just talking and not playing. It's a mind-numbing repetitive nuisance same as motorcycles when switched on BEFORE the rider takes 15 minutes to put on helmet and gloves and keeps talking loudly over the noise. My answer when they don't turn off the engine after a polite request, is to fill a large jug with water and throw it right over them.

Great advice 🙄

She is selfish and totally up her own a**e. And 66 is hardly ‘an old lady.’
Totally unreasonable.

SIBU and needs to buy earplugs. My initial thought was good for her , I’d love to be able to have a nap in the afternoon!

It's reasonable for kids to be allowed to play in the daytime. Your neighbour's being unreasonable. A neighbour of my parents once asked them to stop mowing their lawn on a Sunday afternoon as her husband was sleeping in the day having worked a night shift. Totally unreasonable!!

@hollytrees25 God she’s lucky she has a nice, forgiving family living next door to her. Selfish old bag. She’s never going to be happy. If they were inside on the PS all day, she’d probably tell you they need fresh air (and they were being too noisy). I’m all for having good relationships with neighbours but not at the expense of children having fun and doing what children do. Oh my god! Young children make noise? Start posting flyers for over 50s communities through her letter box (I’m over 50 but kid noise doesn’t bother me. It’s the sound of life). FFS.

You’re not ‘required’ to do anything but consideration for others is a good thing and may just be rewarded in the future??

YANBU! Your children and their friends have every right to play in your garden at 5pm in the afternoon!

Tell her to use a white noise app. She's taking the piss.

Sorry, I haven't read the whole thread. Firstly, I'm surprised she needs a 3 hour nap at 66! She shouldn't complain about kids playing but the bouncing ball would drive me insane too - anything repetitive is hard to bear whether you're asleep or awake.

@Dontwanttolivewithmylover

I can well understand the frustration of balls being continually bounced, sometimes when the person is just talking and not playing. It's a mind-numbing repetitive nuisance same as motorcycles when switched on BEFORE the rider takes 15 minutes to put on helmet and gloves and keeps talking loudly over the noise. My answer when they don't turn off the engine after a polite request, is to fill a large jug with water and throw it right over them.

It's actually crucial to the engine to warm it up before riding and as for your suggestion, I believe that would see you being charged for assault, not that a biker would call the police...

You buy her some ear plugs and just say, ‘I’m so sorry your afternoon naps are being interrupted, but it’s impossible for me to guarantee my children will be silent for hours during day time. Use these, and try sleeping in another room. I’m afraid those are the only solutions I can come up with, but you might be able to think of some others. Have a lovely day’.

Your neighbour is BVU. And so is your DH. Kids are allowed to play in the day. The world doesn't need to stop for her naps, geez. She needs to get a grip. You need to convey this to her in a polite but firm manner.

You're not being unreasonable. She should buy earplugs. Your boys can't be the only daytime noises for God's sake. They sound like they're playing nicely during the day. And a 3 hour nap? If it were a specific 30mins, you could possibly accommodate.