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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

If you're still sticking to ALL the rules/guidance - why?

999 replies

RaspberryCoulis · 27/03/2021 10:50

Will start by saying I am not sticking to the covid rules any more. Obviously I can't go places which aren't open. But we have had people in the house, kids are going out with friends probably in larger numbers than are permitted, we're crossing local authority boundaries which is supposedly illegal in Scotland. Why? Because we've been in lockdown for a year, cases here are very low, and some things are more important than Covid.

But on every thread there are people claiming that they are sticking rigidly to every single rule and guideline, never breaking ANY rule. They would probably say I was a selfish covid-denier who was hellbent on murdering their granny.

So if you're sticking to all the guidelines and rules, without fail - why? People who are clinically extremely vulnerable (officially) I can understand in part if they're not vaccinated. But the rest of you? Is it because you're scared of Covid, or scared of your neighbours, or scared of breaking the law by mistake?

OP posts:
Nuitsdesetoiles · 27/03/2021 14:38

@Crankley

Why? Because:

I follow the rules
I don't want to catch Covid
I don't want to die or be the cause of someone else's death
I'm not a special snowflake and am capable of living with the current restrictions in place
I'm not hard of thinking

God you sound dreadful. No empathy. You know the use of the word "snowflake" does you no flavours?
RaspberryCoulis · 27/03/2021 14:38

@Fridget

This too will pass. There is light at the end of the tunnel. We've just got to hang in there

I believe a large part of the problem is that people have lost faith in that.

I agree. Three weeks to flatten the curve. A short, sharp pre-Christmas circuit breaker. Protect the NHS.

And here we are, a year later.

I also agree with the point made way back about "long covid" - I shared a flat with someone at Uni who got glandular fever at the start of 2nd year and had to drop out. Floored her - not just the initial infection but the ongoing effects of it. Post-viral complications are not new, so why give them a fancy name?

OP posts:
AlexaNeverListens · 27/03/2021 14:39

I'm not scared of Covid for myself. I've had it and my symptoms were mild. DP was quite poorly but thankfully ok now.

I'm following the rules because that's what I've been asked to do - to keep others safe.

It's called being responsible. People who blatantly ignore the rules really piss me off. Why should you meet up with friends when I can't? Imagine if we all behaved like you ....

user1471539324 · 27/03/2021 14:43

@RaspberryCoulis

So what’s your solution then? How would you minimise transmission to suppress mutations while we wait for the vaccine effort?

OnTheSafeSide · 27/03/2021 14:45

It is not new to have Post-viral complications, what is new is actually hundreds of throuands of them all happening at once, possibly a million or more, flooding in all within the space of a year. THAT is the new bit.

So adding even more pressure on the NHS. plus the effect that will have on the economy/education/NHS - previously heatlty working people who cannot work NHS staff, teachers (my GP friend etc) so there is a lot of loss and impact, not just a couple of people affected.

NeverTrustaRabbit · 27/03/2021 14:46

@Fridget .....depends! The COVID guidance is like the Highway Code. Where it says in guidance "you must/must not" then that is a plain English interpretation of the law.....so if you don't follow it you are breaking the law.

Subordinateclause · 27/03/2021 14:50

Haven't looked at all areas but cases in the Scottish Borders, which in places is a 20 minute drive from the outskirts of the Scottish capital, are now 3 per 100,000. If that is not low enough to start lifting restrictions, what is?

maturecheddar · 27/03/2021 14:52

Op I haven't either to be honest especially ever since when the most vulnerable and most over 50s have been vaccinated anyway which include my parents. People also need to be able to work to have food on the table and pay for a roof over their head. A lot of people have fallen through the net that was supposed to protect them financially. A lot of countries in the world have managed the pandemic much better than us and one thing they haven't restricted is household mixing obviously large household mixing is not allowed but having a friend or a family over for coffee or seeing a loved one in person to help you get through a job loss is also important and their governments understand this.

The people on here that have said they haven't are either lying or don't have that closeness and intimacy with people and are quite content being on their own with their own immediate household. I have neighbours where I have never seen them ever have anyone visit them at normal times so these rules work perfectly well for them and they will stick to it because they are used to living like that at normal times. My house at normal times will always have friends and family around with their cars parked on my driveway and we will have bbqs in the summer because that's how I live. Of course I have stuck to the rules and haven't had bbqs and large gatherings but I have seen my parents, my siblings and a couple of friends since they were vaccinated. I see other neighbours where they have people come over and I say good on them because it's cruel to say no mixing. Everyone is different and everyone's risk assessment is different to their circumstances so therefore, no judgement from me.

StinkyWizzleteets · 27/03/2021 14:55

And we wonder why numbers are on the rise again in Scotland 😳

celiafforcandle · 27/03/2021 14:59

@RaspberryCoulisI see all around me, every day, that people are having people in their houses. Travelling for non-essential reasons. Going into supermarkets in groups. Meeting outside not just for exercise. Doing all sorts of things which are against laws/rules/guidance.
Validation or just goading
"Please Miss She did it first, she didn't get a detention"!

I'm off to find some paint to watch.

marabond · 27/03/2021 15:00

The people on here that have said they haven't are either lying or don't have that closeness and intimacy with people and are quite content being on their own with their own immediate household.

Tbf some of us have lost loved ones to covid so that has made me aware of sticking to the rules.

Crankley · 27/03/2021 15:02

Nuitsdesetoiles Oops, you appear to be under the misapprehension that I give a fuck.

BlowDryRat · 27/03/2021 15:04

@Fridget

This too will pass. There is light at the end of the tunnel. We've just got to hang in there

I believe a large part of the problem is that people have lost faith in that.

Quite. We're a year into this. I don't trust Boris et al to tell me the truth any more when they say 'one last push'.
kellehi · 27/03/2021 15:10

'Three weeks to save the NHS, here we are a year later and everyone is all 'I'm following the Covid rules, because I... eighteen pages of various examples equivalent to 'I am a good person and always follow the rules, whatever those rules are.' or 'The first lockdowns didn't work, not because lockdowns don't work, but because too many people were breaking the lockdown, so the lockdown needs to be harder and longer than the previous one.'

If the government tell you you have to 'follow the Covid rules' in 2022, 2023, 2024, etc, etc, because the vaccine is not as effective as the trial showed/new variants emerge will you do whatever the rules say?

If so, what's your limit? 2025? Later?

After all, as someone said on page one... "It’s just a tiny bit of life to be mildly inconvenienced for the good of society."

It's just...

It's just a mask
It's just for three weeks
It's just to save the NHS
It's just your non-keyworker job gone forever - maybe you can get a job at Tesco?
It's just a few people committing suicide
It's just pubs and non essential retail going bankrupt
It's just not being able to see your parents in their care home
It's just terminal cancer because the NHS was closed

I could go on...

19down · 27/03/2021 15:12

I stick to the rules because I work with covid patients and the way they die is heartbreaking. I don't judge people for not sticking to the rules but my sympathy if they got it would be zero.

Pregnant sil seems to think she's immune to it and goes out constantly whilst whinging that she doesn't want to go back to school and then when school was out she was whinging that she didn't want to teach from home. Her husband had it and she apparently didn't get it, but who knows if she had it asymptotically, but then again she'll probably catch it from seeing her friends which she does everyday, and if/ when she gets it, she's whinge/ worry about what the impact will be on her baby.. not interested anymore

Kimye4eva · 27/03/2021 15:16

The people on here that have said they haven't are either lying or don't have that closeness and intimacy with people

Well I’m only intimate with my husband, who’s in my household. But there are plenty of people I am close to, including family who I haven’t seen outside of the guidelines. Are you suggesting because I haven’t seen my Mum since I saw her outside in October that I don’t give a shit about her? I’d suggest it’s you that doesn’t care about your family if you’ve been willing to put them at risk.

All you are doing is justifying your own rule breaking by saying you have a better group of family or friends.

Robin233 · 27/03/2021 15:17

@StinkyWizzleteets

And we wonder why numbers are on the rise again in Scotland 😳

^^^^^
AGREE
it's like taking to the wall....
It's as if people just don't get how this virus spreads .......

I know it's hard.

I've seeing people chatting in the street - no mask - closer than 12 inches.

People in the supermarket waring a Mask under their nose ( cause only the virus comes out their mouth ).

NoBetterthanSheShouldBe · 27/03/2021 15:17

Because I’m not a selfish twat
Because I don’t think the law only applies to other people
Because I believe in the power of a good example

In short, because my self esteem requires to behave better than Dominic Cummings.

fizbosshoes · 27/03/2021 15:19

I dont remember anyone promising the first lockdown was "just for 3 weeks".
A lot of people have quoted this but it was always the premise that they were going to review the lockdown in 3 weeks, not that it would end in 3 weeks. (And anyone looking at Italy or China could have guessed 3 weeks was unrealistically optimistic)

However I do remember BJ saying they would "turn the tide in 12 weeks" and "normality by christmas" and I thought both were BS but I'm not sure I really imagined how long we would be living like this.
Chris Whitty did say last April he expected the next year - 18 months to be a series of washing then tightening restrictions, which appears to have happened...

fizbosshoes · 27/03/2021 15:19

*washing = easing

HopingForOurRainbowBaby · 27/03/2021 15:21

Cos I'm not a selfish twat that's why!! The end of the day it'll be those who are breaking the rules now who'll be the first to moan when we're back in full lockdown again

Ofallthethings · 27/03/2021 15:21

Ultimately the higher the infection rates are the more likely covid is to mutate , to a variant that the vaccines can't handle. Then we are back to square one, people start dying in large numbers again back to lockdown again, vaccines have to start from scratch all over again.. We can get back to normal faster if we are all sensible and this should be a joint effort not oh well it doesn't apply to me because of xyz, you are coming across as self absorbed OP.
Also long covid worries me - I guess I am low risk to die from covid but if I got long covid and was unable to work we would lose our home I have no doubt. And long covid, at 10% of those infected is quite common and is a real problem for the working age population, and their livelihoods going forwards. Try and consider the bigger picture mot just your own situation OP

EvilPea · 27/03/2021 15:21

Because I don’t want to be responsible for anyone else’s death or illness.

TinyRebel · 27/03/2021 15:23

Not really broken the rules, but only because I really can't be arsed with being sociable anymore! Lockdown has been interesting. I've noticed that loads of people I thought of as friends are forming really strong alliances with each other and splitting up with their spouses (three so far and counting).
Meanwhile I've enjoyed hanging out with DH and the kids. He's been working at home, I've been going into work as usual.
Thankfully am fully vaccinated now, but I'd really worry if DH caught it as he's mid 40s and of a 'larger' build.
We see one family member in a support/childcare bubble as they're on their own, but that's it.
The kids do play in the playground with their classmates outside of school though - I suppose that's not really allowed.
I can't get particularly het up about others, unless they were particularly holier than thou to begin with (I'm looking at you Jill, swanning off with your mate, maskless in the car, having been particularly acerbic about everyone else).
I'll admit to having a cup of tea in a friend's garden the other day. I'd been helping with some leafleting for him and was absolutely desperate for a wee, so popped over to theirs afterwards, ran in to use the loo and then sat in the sunshine for half an hour. Both of us had had the first vaccine dose at that point and we sat very far apart.
That's the full extent of my rebelliousness!

kellehi · 27/03/2021 15:24

@NoBetterthanSheShouldBe

Because I’m not a selfish twat Because I don’t think the law only applies to other people Because I believe in the power of a good example

In short, because my self esteem requires to behave better than Dominic Cummings.

Why Dominic Cummings?

Why not all those other public figures who broke the rules? Stephen Kinnock? That Manchester MP who nobody can remember his name but went to a wedding with hundreds of people? Jeremy Corbyn who went to dinner with eight other people?

Kevan Jones? Bet you have to go on Google to figure out what he did...