To not want partner having kids here when they're ill?

[Whereso]

Because I'm vulnerable, pregnant in my first trimester after two losses and feel like crap as it is.

They come for their tea twice a week and stay over every other weekend.

His ex had the decency to let him know in advance that they weren't well but he failed to mention that to me and brought them here anyway, they weren't due to stay over and were just coming for tea so he could've easily taken them to the park or picked up a McDonald's/burger king.

Low and behold I've caught whatever it is and have a temp so will need to be tested for covid now, if only to rule it out.

AIBU to be pissed off with him?

Your DH can’t just not see his children every time they unwell. He can’t “just see them outside” every time they aren’t well either

Where have I said that should be the case.

My OP is prompted by a very specific combination of circumstances which are unlikely to reoccur during any of the their childhoods.

@DropDTuning centre point.

(with my mum). Thanks for your concern.

If you were clinically vulnerable etc I'd be a but more understanding; but you're only pregnant. Grow up and be the step mum that you need to be.

Lovely comment aimed at a newly pregnant woman after multiple miscarriages. What a delight you are.

[quote DropDTuning]**@PatPattinson* She’s not though is she!! This is her first. If the step children had symptoms of covid (which can be life threatening) then why on earth would she put herself and her unborn child at risk!! Crazy*

It's not his first child, is it?[/quote]
Yes correct but they still have symptoms of covid! The OH shouldn’t even be seeing them if there’s a chance they have covid! Why do you think the virus is still spreading?? People keep saying ‘what would you do if you already had a child?’ She doesn’t so she doesn’t need to consider that!

Icanfly - and the one with the cough?

What are mum's plans mid pandemic exactly?

Oh you’re right. She clearly should just sit by the window for the entirety of the time her children spend with their father. Not like she could have work or be delivering shopping to a parent or be meeting a friend for a walk. Are you seriously asking that question?

It's not about "mum's plans", is it. It's about what's in the best interests of the children - all three of them (yes I include the unborn one). And travelling back and forth between homes whilst poorly is not in the best interests of any of the children as far as I can see.

Depends on the illness. A runny nose? A cough? No reason at all not to go to dads.

@Whereso

If she’s that worried, then the solution is for her to out of the house on those days. The kids shouldn’t be impacted.

I had no idea they were ill!

They’ll want to visit after you’ve given birth too you know op. I think you need to remember it’s their home too. So they have a right to be sick in their own home

They're more than welcome to visit after birth, obviously.

What if they have D&V though? Should they still come and cuddle the baby?

Where do you draw the line? Or isn't one?

To me, a large percentage of posters are of the opinion that it doesn't matter what SC are carrying or who's at risk, their right to be at the NRP house trumps the health and safety of all others.

Bonkers.

The NRP house 🙄 you mean their dads?

@TrustTheGeneGenie, not true. MN are often supportive .

In the real world you can't just not see your children because they are sick, no matter what they are sick with.

I hope your pregnancy goes well and that your dp continues to parent his children.

If being around poorly kids harmed unborn foetuses, there wouldn't be a child born.
We have immune systems, your child when it arrives will also be a germy child...they all are!

The kids have a right to see their dad.

@UhtredRagnarson

It's not about "mum's plans", is it. It's about what's in the best interests of the children - all three of them (yes I include the unborn one). And travelling back and forth between homes whilst poorly is not in the best interests of any of the children as far as I can see.

Depends on the illness. A runny nose? A cough? No reason at all not to go to dads.

During a pandemic, where a cough is a key symptom!!!

@RootyT00t supportive of what? Step parents?

They're not. They're really, really not.

Their mother is to blame here for not getting the one with a cough tested. If she had, this whole situation would have been avoided.

FWIW my DC had a new cough. Didn’t think it was persistent as such but didn’t want to take a chance and send them to school so got the test. It was positive.

I would have bet my house on it being negative and while we were waiting for the result I was cursing myself because the cough was so mild and went in no time at all.

@oakleaffy

If being around poorly kids harmed unborn foetuses, there wouldn't be a child born. We have immune systems, your child when it arrives will also be a germy child...they all are!

The kids have a right to see their dad.

I wonder how many pregnancy losses you've suffered. I'll guess none.

Doesnt matter if OP was the nicest woman in the world, people see the word step mum and feel its okay to attack based on that alone on this site. It is a major problem.

This can be flipped.

Take the word “step” out of the equation.

A pregnant mum doesn’t want her children around because one has a cold no temp and the other has a cough no temp.

We would all be a tad....

@Lastbonestanding

In the real world you can't just not see your children because they are sick, no matter what they are sick with.

I hope your pregnancy goes well and that your dp continues to parent his children.

Well, I hate to break it to you but you can when they have another parent and a different house. Anyone with half a brain doesn't send Ill children to the other parent to infect them too.

Well this has become quite boring.

Have a nice weekend.

[quote TrustTheGeneGenie]@RootyT00t supportive of what? Step parents?

They're not. They're really, really not.[/quote]
I quite often see threads where posters agree the ex is being unreasonable.

I've said many times I can see OPs motivation and I sympathise.

I just think she's wrong. Nothing to do with who she's married to

@Whereso

Well this has become quite boring.

Have a nice weekend.

Oh dear OP.

I presume boring meaning we didn't all agree with you .

www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/birthdefects/features/kf-birthdefects-maternal-fever-during-pregnancy.html

Getting covid can actually harm a baby why is everyone jumping on this woman?

@Lentillover1900

*Doesnt matter if OP was the nicest woman in the world, people see the word step mum and feel its okay to attack based on that alone on this site. It is a major problem.*

This can be flipped.

Take the word “step” out of the equation.

A pregnant mum doesn’t want her children around because one has a cold no temp and the other has a cough no temp.

We would all be a tad....

Maybe you would. I wouldn't.

A pregnant woman who has suffered multiple recent losses gets to be as anxious as she wants in my book.

Try having some empathy ffs.

[quote TrustTheGeneGenie]@RootyT00t supportive of what? Step parents?

They're not. They're really, really not.[/quote]

😂 fuck me.
MN Supportive of step parents.
I think I'm finally speechless.

Completely agree @MiaChia

Yabu his children are already here and the come first. They will likely be unwell again during your pregnancy. Though as a step mum, I know how you feel OP.