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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Daughters carer refused covid vaccine

267 replies

Nevic84 · 25/03/2021 20:20

My daughter 6 has multiple health needs mainly a tracheostomy but also a weakened immune system and minor heart defect.
She’s a happy and otherwise healthy child.
But she’s classed as clinically extremely vulnerable.
She has 1:1 carers as her condition is life threatening.
Her main carer has refused covid vaccine.
Not for any religious or health reasons she doesn’t want to be bullied into having it and if she gets it she’ll get it when she wants and not before (her words)
In her personal life she’s not following covid restrictions and having people over her house and going into other peoples house and visiting public places a lot only wearing mask when mandatory.
What’s peoples opinions and how would they deal with it?
Aibu to think if you work in care you would care enough to want to protect those who couldn’t be protected?
I worry about my daughter everyday I feel scared for her.
As an employer I can’t force her to have it.

OP posts:
YellowPurple · 28/03/2021 00:03

I would of got rid of her along time ago

She is putting your daughter at risk

pabloescobarselasticband · 28/03/2021 00:06

I would have had her out of the door quicker than you can say vaccine!

Fuckitfuckit · 28/03/2021 00:13

I would say that your safest option is to get a new carer who a-will get the vaccine and b will take risks in line with the fact that they are working with a very ill child who will face very severe consequences if their carer should become ill, or should happen to pass on covid.

I do want to ask however, is DDs GP able to arrange for her to have the vaccine? I understand that children who are at additional risk are able to be offered, I understand it is a very very small amount of children who are offered at this point, but it may be worthwhile asking.

I would definitely get rid of the irresponsible carer though.

On a slightly different note, my dad has a friend who informally cares for him, his friend is a higher risk individual-on and off of heroin and is not distancing himself from people, part of the circles he runs in. My dad believes that having had the vaccine, he is safe to resume life. He will not be seeing DD until she has been vaccinated because the risk of his friend, which means Dad could be carrying Covid and not even know it, then pass it on to DD DD is pretty healthy, but its not a risk worth taking.

Cokie3 · 28/03/2021 00:19

[quote Lavanderrose]@Nevic84 I think you need to weigh up the pros and cons. She’s great at her job, she has a good relationship with your daughter, is she reliable? Do you see her leaving anytime soon? I just think that on balance, it would be better not to get rid of her right now. Recruitment is not easy for these type of jobs. Who knows, perhaps in the future she will get the vaccine. Especially if the government start introducing these vaccine passports.[/quote]
@Lavanderrose The 'carer' is NOT great at what she does. She is negligent at what she does and irresponsible. Most people would suggest she gets rid this minute. Yesterday. Most people on this thread are sensible people with a sense of duty of care and maternal instinct, but there are a few who simply do not grasp the seriousness of the situation at all, and it's no wonder the UK has such a dire number of deaths with people going about not seeing this as the life and death situation it truly is, especially for innocent children like the OP's daughter who will almost 100% die if she contracts this. What will it take for people to wake up?

orangebay · 28/03/2021 04:09

100% going to die? How can it be certain death for someone and a third of people have it without knowing. I didn't know Covid has ever been a certain death for anyone.

Cokie3 · 28/03/2021 05:02

@orangebay

100% going to die? How can it be certain death for someone and a third of people have it without knowing. I didn't know Covid has ever been a certain death for anyone.
@orangebay Have you not read any of the OP's posts? Her daughter can't breathe properly. She has a Tracheostomy, that greatly increases her risk of respiratory infection. I cannot believe you even need to have this explained to you. Go ask your GP or a paramedic to explain it to you.
orangebay · 28/03/2021 05:23

Don't need to make me feel bad or stupid. I know it kills some people but didn't know anyone was told they had no chance of survival at all. I thought there was always a possibility of getting over it

Cokie3 · 28/03/2021 05:26

@orangebay I never said they had 'no chance at survival at all'. I never said that at all.

orangebay · 28/03/2021 05:32

Ah that makes me feel better. Still scary there's very little chance of surviving though for some people. Suppose any slight cold or sickness bug could be deadly then 😔

Parkerwhereareyou · 28/03/2021 06:25

@Nevic84

I employ direct with direct payments. 1 pcr test a week. I do like her but it’s so difficult when it’s your child it’s like Russian roulette I’ve had my vaccine as an unpaid carer and it felt like the happiest day or my life (other than having my children) Everyone has different opinions on it. I half expect one day she’ll turn round and say she’ll have it just because she’s chosen the time, she likes to travel so I guess she’ll need it in the end somehow.
She sounds like an absolute bugger. Switch her out. Find someone less selfish.

She's dominating you because you're vulnerable and grateful to her. I bet it's not just the Covid vaccine. I bet she rules the roost in other ways too. ?

RampantIvy · 28/03/2021 06:51

@orangebay

100% going to die? How can it be certain death for someone and a third of people have it without knowing. I didn't know Covid has ever been a certain death for anyone.
Do you even know what a tracheostomy is? When DD had a trachy even a cold would land her in hospital.

Please go and educate yourself.

MrsMackesy · 28/03/2021 12:48

This reply has been deleted

Post references deleted post Talk Guidelines.

MrsMackesy · 28/03/2021 12:52

Thank you MNHQ Flowers

Lavanderrose · 28/03/2021 13:28

The 'carer' is NOT great at what she does. She is negligent at what she does and irresponsible. Most people would suggest she gets rid this minute. Yesterday. Most people on this thread are sensible people with a sense of duty of care and maternal instinct, but there are a few who simply do not grasp the seriousness of the situation at all, and it's no wonder the UK has such a dire number of deaths with people going about not seeing this as the life and death situation it truly is, especially for innocent children like the OP's daughter who will almost 100% die if she contracts this. What will it take for people to wake up?

Oh, do calm down @Cokie3 your being very hysterical. Yes maybe the carer should get the vaccination, but if not it doesn’t mean that she’s bad at the job or shouldn’t be a carer or that she’s irresponsible. We don’t even know how much the vaccine can reduce the rate of transmission and that’s a FACT. Don’t forget this is a carer who has put her own health on line to tend to the ops daughter throughout the pandemic. Please don’t fever forget that we cannot event reduce the risk of catching to covid 0%.

Cokie3 · 28/03/2021 14:53

Oh for goodness sake @Lavanderrose don't be so ignorant of the facts. A vaccine exists because it reduces transmission. FACT. And you conveniently miss that she mixes AGAINST THE LAW, AND refuses to wear a mask. What is it, about that, that you struggle to understand?

She is a careless and negligent person, in the eyes of any reasonable person. Please use common sense and logic.

YellowPurple · 28/03/2021 20:41

@orangebay

I think people know there own / families health

A cold can put me in hospital for afew days...
I havent got a Trac

But i have got other medical issues.
I can almost certainly say if i got Covid, i would most likely die

ginoclocksomewhere · 05/04/2021 17:04

@Lavanderrose

*The 'carer' is NOT great at what she does. She is negligent at what she does and irresponsible. Most people would suggest she gets rid this minute. Yesterday. Most people on this thread are sensible people with a sense of duty of care and maternal instinct, but there are a few who simply do not grasp the seriousness of the situation at all, and it's no wonder the UK has such a dire number of deaths with people going about not seeing this as the life and death situation it truly is, especially for innocent children like the OP's daughter who will almost 100% die if she contracts this. What will it take for people to wake up?*

Oh, do calm down @Cokie3 your being very hysterical. Yes maybe the carer should get the vaccination, but if not it doesn’t mean that she’s bad at the job or shouldn’t be a carer or that she’s irresponsible. We don’t even know how much the vaccine can reduce the rate of transmission and that’s a FACT. Don’t forget this is a carer who has put her own health on line to tend to the ops daughter throughout the pandemic. Please don’t fever forget that we cannot event reduce the risk of catching to covid 0%.

Are you serious? She actively puts her Px at risk and you're trying to convince people she isn't bad at her job?! Give me strength.
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