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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU for only wanting a TV in the living room?

175 replies

MsHardy · 24/03/2021 21:45

My DH has talked about wanting a TV in our bedroom and in the kitchen since we met years ago. In our old house it wasn't possible (kitchen too small) and I said no to having one in our bedroom as I like our bedroom being an intimate space.

DH's beloved TV started to break a few years ago and he began to talk about getting a new 4K one. So as a birthday gift I bought him a new one- incredibly expensive and a model I knew he wanted. As far as I was concerned, we were just replacing our one and only TV with a better one and that was it.

We are 4 months into decorating our new house, about to finish, and tonight he has suddenly produced the old TV and wants it in either the kitchen or our spare bedroom. (He kept it because it is 3D-enabled, so he will use it to watch 3D films, despite the screen being messed up, hence me buying the original replacement!)

I really don't want more than one TV in our small house because I feel it's unnecessary - our kitchen/living room is sort of open plan so feels weird to have two and a 60 inch TV in a small bedroom feels weird. I don't know why it bothers me so much - I guess I feel our intimacy will suffer?

AIBU?

OP posts:
twilightcafe · 25/03/2021 10:03

I can't see a problem with a TV in a spare bedroom. We draw the line at tvs in kitchens, or ours and kids' bedrooms.

bridgetjones1 · 25/03/2021 10:03

I'm with you on no tv in the bedroom but would absolutely miss the tv in my kitchen especially when I'm batch cooking or preparing meals. Most nights we don't sit down in the living room until 8.30-9pm. Our DT's go to bed at 7pm and then we have the clear up and prep for the next day and having something on the tv as we do it is very nice and allows us to catch up on some programmes.

Daydreamsinglorioustechnicolor · 25/03/2021 10:07

I would not put one in the kitchen if it is completely open to the living room.
I don't mind TV in a bedroom as long as it fits nicely in the space, so probably not the old TV if it is overly large.
That said, tablets are fine for watching something in bed. I like breakfast news on whilst I get ready in the morning but use my tablet for that.

AmelieTaylor · 25/03/2021 10:14

@PferdeMerde

Why does anyone want a tv in kitchen?
I don't have one in the kitchen at this house, but if I had the space I might.

I HATE hate hate cooking

But I minded it a little less when I could distract myself with something interesting!

and the old house was a kitchen/diner so it was nice to have the option

I don't want one in the bedroom as I know we'd end up watching it instead of reading/talking/chilling out together etc

But very occasionally I would like to watch the end of something in bed. Though I am TRYING to just record it & watch 'the end' another time.

AmelieTaylor · 25/03/2021 10:16

@mars2

Why is a TV in the bedroom or kitchen bad but tablet ok?
It makes no bloody sense does it?

Tv's affect intimacy, but tablets are fine. Bonkers

LoveDrunk · 25/03/2021 10:18

Why does anyone want a tv in kitchen?

You do realise that everyone is different don’t you?

We have a big kitchen diner with sofas in as well. We spend lots of time in there and therefore it suits us to have a tv in there.

Robin233 · 25/03/2021 10:24

I'd love a tv in the kitchen when I'm cooking
Well I do have a dvd one but no Ariel and ive watched all my dvds now.
I end up trying to watch tv on my phone while doing tea Lol

folloyourarro · 25/03/2021 10:30

Why does anyone want a tv in kitchen?

Ours is a kitchen/diner/living area (not the only living or dining areas) I love cooking while watching TV, especially in the week watching the news, if I'm baking something or cooking something that doesn't need constantly watching I'm sat on the sofa watching tv 🤷‍♀️

BrumBoo · 25/03/2021 10:31

Why is a TV in the bedroom or kitchen bad but tablet ok?

It makes no bloody sense does it?

It makes sense to me, with young children. I don't want them to think a TV is something we have on in every room. Yes, I can have the tablet in the kitchen, however I don't use it every time I cook or clean, just like they know they can't have tablet time every day. Our bedroom TV is never on except when the children are asleep, I'm not sure they're even aware it works.

It just seems a bit hypocritical to say 'you can have x amount of TV or tablet time' to the kids, whilst the adults are watching something every time they change rooms.

We have young kids though, and this will inevitably change as they get older. Right now, personally, I'm trying to not give the idea that TV and screens in general are the 'must have' of every room.

WitchesBritchesPumpkinPants · 25/03/2021 10:48

Weirdest thing is why the OP thinks a TV in the spare room is going to cause intimacy problems?! Perhaps her DH will move into the spare room!

Bluntness100 · 25/03/2021 10:49

Yes, I can have the tablet in the kitchen, however I don't use it every time I cook or clean

This doesn’t make any sense, because a tv can also be switched off. Logically it makes no difference what device you watch tv on. You can equally have a tv in the kitchen and not switch it on.

Personally I think two TVs are a great idea. Particularly as kids get older, to habe space to watch their programs or game, whilst others watch what they wish to watch, but this doesn’t mean it needs to be all the time.

mars2 · 25/03/2021 10:50

It makes sense to me, with young children. I don't want them to think a TV is something we have on in every room

but you have one in the bedroom?

mars2 · 25/03/2021 10:52

This doesn’t make any sense, because a tv can also be switched off. Logically it makes no difference what device you watch tv on. You can equally have a tv in the kitchen and not switch it on

Exactly all have an off switch. What I personally dislike about tablets is the temptation to hold them & look down, not great for neck/posture

skirk64 · 25/03/2021 10:56

Never had a TV in my bedroom since I could afford to live in a place that wasn't a houseshare or a studio. The concept reminds me of being a child, where bedroom was also the place where I lived/studied/relaxed/ate.

For an adult, the bedroom should be for the bed, a wardrobe and that's about it.

I can see the argument for having a small TV in the kitchen if there is the space and you spend a lot of time cooking. It's not really different to having a radio or music playing on your Echo.

JackieTheFart · 25/03/2021 10:58

YANBU but he’s also NBU.

I think a suitable compromise is having it in the spare room. You don’t have to see it but he gets to keep it.

NerrSnerr · 25/03/2021 11:08

For an adult, the bedroom should be for the bed, a wardrobe and that's about it.

@skirk64 why should it? If that's what you want then that's fine but other people are different. Unless there are some bedroom laws that I have never heard of?

Original poster
MsHardy · 25/03/2021 11:25

@WitchesBritchesPumpkinPants haha that is it! My partner watches about 5-6 of film/TV a day at the moment (he has a shorter working day than average) and he loves staying up late and watching TV. I can see how tempted he would be to sit in the spare bedroom til the early hours watching movies. But I'm sure it's something we can keep communicating about.

Having slept on it - if its very important to him, then a TV in the spare bedroom is not the end of the world

OP posts:
LilMidge01 · 25/03/2021 11:27

I'm with you on this- hate the thought of a TV in the bedroom. Now he's got his fancy new TV in the living room, it seems like a decent compromise (no TV in bedroom, but we;ve upgraded to a fancy new one in living room to make up for it).

Robin233 · 25/03/2021 11:32

You cannot beat being snuggled up in bed with your loved one watching a good program / film.
After a long day working, then cooking tea and washing up, doing dh pack up I can't think of anything better.

LibertyMole · 25/03/2021 11:35

I would far rather have a tv in the bedroom than everyone crouched over a tablet.

bobsandbits · 25/03/2021 11:39

I think you are being unreasonable.

Why will it spoil intimacy in the spare bedroom ?

You said he kept it to watch 3D stuff on which I assume you can't on the other one.

I'd say spare bedroom is a compromise.

Yuppie20 · 25/03/2021 12:00

Yikes, I have tvs in the house.
I have one wall mounted in the kitchen, love watching my documentaries while cooking or painting another piece of furniture:) one in the bedroom wall mounted too, I like so e evenings to cosy up and watch something, especially if DP is wanting to watch something I don't. Then we have one upstairs in the attic conversion, like being to put so.ething on when I've paperwork to do or work stuff. So yeah Im With your DH, sorry Confused

123sunshine · 25/03/2021 12:01

I'm partly with you. I have a TV in living room and one in my bedroom, none in kitchen dining area. Can't stand the though of everyone eating their dinner glued to the TV. I don't watch TV in bed very often, but sometimes its nice to go to bed early get comfy and watch TV in bed. I like a radio in the kitchen for music whiIst I cook.

JokeTheCoalman · 25/03/2021 12:17

@Robin233

You cannot beat being snuggled up in bed with your loved one watching a good program / film. After a long day working, then cooking tea and washing up, doing dh pack up I can't think of anything better.
Amen!
Kottbullar · 25/03/2021 12:48

@Robin233

You cannot beat being snuggled up in bed with your loved one watching a good program / film. After a long day working, then cooking tea and washing up, doing dh pack up I can't think of anything better.
Not for me. DH it seems is incapable of lying down and watching TV without falling asleep where as I cannot sleep when there's a television on. One of us always ends up annoyed!
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