AIBU for only wanting a TV in the living room?

[MsHardy]

My DH has talked about wanting a TV in our bedroom and in the kitchen since we met years ago. In our old house it wasn't possible (kitchen too small) and I said no to having one in our bedroom as I like our bedroom being an intimate space.

DH's beloved TV started to break a few years ago and he began to talk about getting a new 4K one. So as a birthday gift I bought him a new one- incredibly expensive and a model I knew he wanted. As far as I was concerned, we were just replacing our one and only TV with a better one and that was it.

We are 4 months into decorating our new house, about to finish, and tonight he has suddenly produced the old TV and wants it in either the kitchen or our spare bedroom. (He kept it because it is 3D-enabled, so he will use it to watch 3D films, despite the screen being messed up, hence me buying the original replacement!)

I really don't want more than one TV in our small house because I feel it's unnecessary - our kitchen/living room is sort of open plan so feels weird to have two and a 60 inch TV in a small bedroom feels weird. I don't know why it bothers me so much - I guess I feel our intimacy will suffer?

AIBU?

I like having a small TV in the kitchen, but I’d never want one in our bedroom.
We do have a small one in a guest bedroom but I honestly don’t think anyone ever uses it. Pre COVID the room was used a lot by 2 teen nieces from abroad on weekends/half terms from their boarding schools, but they would watch Netflix etc. for half the night on their laptops, and surface around 11.30-12. 😀

When I was quite ill a couple of years ago I got a tv put in the bedroom. I haven’t used it since, but it was defo useful at the time so have kept it.

I’d probably feel the same as you - but as it’s his house too, couldn’t it go in the spare room?

Why would a TV in the bedroom affect your ‘intimacy’? Weird.
I’d object to a massive TV in the bedroom, we have a 36” one and its fine - doesn’t stop us having sex 🤣🤣
You share the house - surely he has as much say as you do? I love watching TV in bed, plus I also love encouraging DF to watch football in bed so I can watch something downstairs. Win win!

I think that’s the thing. The op can’t dictate to her husband and he can’t dictate to her. So they need to find a compromise. He wants them everywhere, she wants jist the living room. The spare room seems a good compromise to me.

DP has a TV in our bedroom and I don’t think I’ve slept properly in about three years. I do, absolutely hate it apart from on a Sunday morning.

But he lives here too, he claims it helps him sleep (it doesn’t), so I bought an eye mask and ear plugs for the nights he insists on watching some Tarantino gun filled dramas.

I long for it to have an accident, but he’d just replace it.

I flatly refuse to have a tv anywhere in the house other than the living room.

My ex had one in the bedroom and kitchen, we hardly spoke as he was constantly glued to the telly. Couldn't fall asleep without it on, I couldn't fall asleep
With it on. I think they are really anti social. My dc wouldn't come out of their bedrooms if they had a really up there too

YABU, it's his house too.

No idea what the intimacy problem is. You can have a TV in the bedroom and still have sex believe it or not. Unless there's some rule I am unaware of.

Usually someone comes along mentioning 'bedrooms are for sleeping' which presumably rules out any other activity in there whatsoever.

@Sparklingbrook indeed, can't say the TV has ever stopped us in the living room either...

Totally agree with you. Growing up we all had a TV in our bedrooms and sometimes we’d get sent to our rooms to watch TV in there while my Mum went to her room to watch something in there. So unhealthy and disjointed. She still has a TV in every room now including the kitchen and my DC’s bedrooms there...

We have one in the living room. It’s 32 inch and nothing fancy at all, we don’t need anything else.

[quote folloyourarro]@Sparklingbrook indeed, can't say the TV has ever stopped us in the living room either...[/quote]
Exactly, or in a hotel room. If the TV is a that much of a distraction maybe the sex needs working on.

We have 3 in a house of 5 people.
Lounge, then conservatory has a tv, small sofa and all the games consoles so the kids can sit in there, espcially now that are hitting teen years and staying up later so not hogging the main tv. We also have a small tv in the study which since we’ve moved hasn’t been used

We have a TV in the bedroom, it was/is great when we had babies. Could stick on a boxset during those long nights without messing with a tablet/paying much attention, sitting in bed in winter watching a film when the kids are asleep, spare video game TV - I will always have a TV in the adult bedroom. I hate eating in bed though, maybe a sneaky tub of ice cream away from the children but absolutely no crisps/toast/anything crumbly.

No tv for the kitchen from me though - I use my Surface tab if I want to watch something whilst cooking. It's great to move with me to different counters but also easy to switch off if the children run though (and catch some naughty Lucifer action ). The our dining room is and always will be a TV free zone, and the children won't have any electronics in their rooms for a long, long time. So I think there's room for compromise but not in a space that will affect you getting sleep or having a part of the house that is screen free for relaxation.

I agree! Bedroom is for many things, but TV isn't one of them

I’m happy with just one TV, but we do all watch on tablets elsewhere

We have a TV in the living room, snug and bedroom. I love the set up.

TV in the bedroom is lovely if you are ill and want to lounge in bed, snug is useful for when rugby or cricket is on so I don’t have to watch it 🤣

@KingdomScrolls
Lol he's up at 5.30, 20 min commute and then a physical job, home for about 5.50.

So 12 hour days and he falls asleep like a toddler.
He's rarely ill but if he feels a cold coming on he'll just sleep it off. He is amazing

Not RTFT but huge YABU. It’s his house too.
If this was a reverse and a woman came on here saying she really wanted something but her husband was refusing, he’d be called every name under the sun (abusive, controlling).

But somehow, this is ok?

I’m surprised your husband has been this patient. By now I would have put the TV in the kitchen as a a bare minimum. You don’t get to outright refuse a perfectly reasonable request just because you don’t want it. Super selfish.

he claims it helps him sleep (it doesn’t), so I bought an eye mask and ear plugs for the nights he insists on watching some Tarantino gun filled dramas

So you haven't slept properly for three years because he's a selfish knob who could quite easily go and watch his shit in the living room before going to bed so you could sleep in peace.

No TV's in bedrooms here because my bedroom isn't somewhere I go and sit to watch it and need dark and quiet to sleep.

We have 2 tv's downstairs. Handy for when we don't want to watch the same things (or sport) and one is connected to games console.

We have a TV in the kitchen for the first time and I love it. It's up on the wall so not taking up bench space and it means we spend a lot more time in there because no one is rushing off to relax in front of the telly. It's pretty boring being stuck in the kitchen cooking or tidying up, having the TV there livens it up a bit. And you don't have to put it on during mealtimes if you don't want it although I quite like having the news on at dinner time, it stimulates discussion about what's going on outside our own four walls.

@sassbott

Not RTFT but huge YABU. It’s his house too. If this was a reverse and a woman came on here saying she really wanted something but her husband was refusing, he’d be called every name under the sun (abusive, controlling).

But somehow, this is ok?

I’m surprised your husband has been this patient. By now I would have put the TV in the kitchen as a a bare minimum. You don’t get to outright refuse a perfectly reasonable request just because you don’t want it. Super selfish.

I think you're overreacting just a little bit! Many people don't agree with TVs in certain rooms (rather redundant with modern phones and tablets, but still) - to bring in 'abuse' as an argument is ridiculous and offensive. There is nothing 'selfish' here, just a difference of opinion.

Why is a TV in the kitchen 'the bare minimum'? Perhaps if the ops husband does the majority of the cooking/kitchen work then his opinion matters more but we don't know that.

Of course you’re being unreasonable. He wants a TV in the spare room, not your room. It’s a good compromise. You can’t have it all your way.

We have TV’s in every room in the house. If you want to get intimate, the TV shouldn’t stop you. If he’d rather watch TV then that’s a bigger problem!

Why is a TV in the bedroom or kitchen bad but tablet ok?

We have lots of TVs but none of us own a tablet. DP and I have laptops, mine is permanently docked in the spare room where I WFH, and he only uses his for work purposes, not for TV. I can't imagine faffing about watching stuff on a tablet though, I'd rather just use a TV!