To wonder if giving up the booze was really worth it?

[SnafuButGreyNow]

Last summer I stopped drinking. I'd been drinking too much and too regularly, was feeling crappy most days, etc etc, so I cut it out completely. I had two glasses of champagne on Christmas Day but apart from that, nada.

But...I'm not convinced it was worth it! I've lost no weight, my skin isn't clearer, my eyes aren't brighter, I don't really have any more energy. Ok, I don't wake up with a hangover any longer but due to a chronic pain issue I still need painkillers most mornings so I don't feel as if I've gained 'freedom' much there.

DH still has a couple of glasses of wine most days and tbh I miss sharing a bottle with him whilst we cook dinner. Summer is approaching and I feel a bit sad that I won't be mixing up the Aperol Spritz or making a lovely g&t with lots of ice and cucumber, or opening a fridge-cold bottle of Picpoul.

I find it hard to moderate and I don't like 'mocktails'. Alcohol-free 'booze' mainly tastes crappy. Part of me just thinks, fuck it, why bother, just drink if you want to. And to be really honest, whilst I completely understand the ridiculousness of our cultural obsession with equating drinking with having a good time, I do feel a bit boring and puritanical when I'm not drinking .

So AIBU to think, meh, what was the point?

I try to keep drinking to two nights - half a bottle max and under 14 units. I think this works well but I don’t keep booze in the house just buy what we want each week.

That's the thing, Leftturnright, I don't have to talk about it, why would I? There are other things to talk about. Talking about drinking or not drinking would be a really short conversation, what's to say about it?

You sound very defensive but nobody's attacking you or judging you so yes, I'm definitely missing whatever your point was.

Sorry to be annoying but I have found the opposite , weight dropped off n skin is clear and totally line free Now . I was drinking a lot tho . Waking up without a hangover ever is awesome

I'm also a big drinker. Could easily get in the habit of a bottle of wine per night to myself & was on this amount from December on.

I attempted dry Jan as another drinking friend was trying it. I ended up doing dry Jan & dry Feb & now trying to limit myself to weekends though if there's wine leftover in a Monday, I won't waste it!

I had a couple of small glasses on Paddy's day so having (attempting), a dry weekend this weekend.

I'm trying to lose weight also but there's very little to look forward to atm without eating & drinking. I'm hoping to smooth it out when society starts again.

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I have never really drunk alcohol as just a tiny amount can have me dancing on the table. A teaspoon can have the room spinning.

So I gave up many years ago.
I found it wasn’t about the alcohol that made a good time but the people. I think it took about 10 years to find the people I now have as friends. None of us drink but it doesn’t stop us having a good time. I mean proper belly laughing can’t move or catch your breath type laughing every time we are out. We probably only saw each other 4 times per year but it was a day and night we all looked forward to.
I just found going out with friends who drank quite boring.
It took me a bit of time to realise that it wasn’t me who was boring without alcohol but the company I was keeping.
I have friends who drink with are still interesting and funny people but sometimes once you stop drinking you realise the only reason you are “friends” with someone is because your relationship is about drinking alcohol. Take the alcohol away and you have nothing in common

I felt loads better not drinking and haven't looked back. I didn't get the sudden skin improvements but I think people maybe make too much of that sort of thing and expect miracles.

Bythemillpond
I found the same with some work friends. The social nights were good fun, but once I stopped drinking I realised we didn't have that much in common.

I identify with this. I used to LOVE drinking. Arguably too much, although I was very much a weekend boozer but I’d get on it. Then I got with my now DH who doesn’t really drink, I developed a chronic pain/auto immune issue and we had kids so I tend not to drink anymore really. Do I feel better? No, not really. Still wake with a headache or pain a lot so haven’t won there. And I do miss it. But I don’t miss the worry that I’m spiralling into problem boozing and I don’t miss worrying I was embarrassing the next day.

I drink moderately sometimes, more in the summer. There’s probably a middle ground for you too. But I sympathise.

OP I saw it mentioned inthread but have you read this naked mind by Annie Grace?
The reason why I ask is she unpicks all the reasons why we think we want to drink, and lays them out for what they are - advertising and association, rather than the actual booze itself.
The things you say you're missing remind me a lot about how alcohol is shown in TV adverts etc - sure we all want to have balmy summer evenings in gardens with friends, but would it actually make that much difference if what was in our glass was alcoholic or non alcoholic?

I used to have a glass or 2 every night but I decided to give it up completely Mon-Thurs and it means I look forward to Friday evening and the weekend so much more...I haven’t lost any weight but I never do when I give up alcohol (I only drink white wine and champagne) but it has made the weekends much more enjoyable 😀

@Theshoepeople

OP I saw it mentioned inthread but have you read this naked mind by Annie Grace? The reason why I ask is she unpicks all the reasons why we think we want to drink, and lays them out for what they are - advertising and association, rather than the actual booze itself. The things you say you're missing remind me a lot about how alcohol is shown in TV adverts etc - sure we all want to have balmy summer evenings in gardens with friends, but would it actually make that much difference if what was in our glass was alcoholic or non alcoholic?

This is such a good point, and I gota lot from that book too. I absolutely love the thought of evenings with friends, summer lunches, laughing and talking for hours, but I realised it's not the booze I want, it's the rest! None of it relies on what's in my glass. Friends don't care whether I'm drinking or not.

It's an astonishing marketing triumph - soooooo many things from birthday cards to pyjamas have messages that good times = alcohol

The other thing I like about not drinking is that it's just fewer decisions to make! Fewer things to be moderating and keeping an eye on, I have enough to think about with sugar/carbs/water/vegetables and every other bloody thing we're supposed to do more or less of! Was easier to make the booze decision once rather than every drinking opportunity

Well I totally agree with this:

It's an astonishing marketing triumph - soooooo many things from birthday cards to pyjamas have messages that good times = alcohol

But...I'm not sure I agree with the idea that my evening in the garden with DH (or a night out with friends) is actually completely unaffected by whether there's an alcoholic drink in my glass or not.

I'm absolutely not saying 'with booze' is always automatically a better experience than 'without booze' - but it is different. And the point is that sometimes it's a different that I'm ok with and sometimes...I'm not ok with it.

@SnafuButGreyNow

Well I totally agree with this:

It's an astonishing marketing triumph - soooooo many things from birthday cards to pyjamas have messages that good times = alcohol

But...I'm not sure I agree with the idea that my evening in the garden with DH (or a night out with friends) is actually completely unaffected by whether there's an alcoholic drink in my glass or not.

I'm absolutely not saying 'with booze' is always automatically a better experience than 'without booze' - but it is different. And the point is that sometimes it's a different that I'm ok with and sometimes...I'm not ok with it.

Maybe that’s where your moderation boundary lies - can you value and treasure those precious times heightened by alcohol with family and friends - so it’s always specific celebrations or social situations .......but it doesn’t cross into it being yet another week night slobbering on the sofa half cut if that’s not where you want to be?

And have you tried to do something like this before - separate out all of the drinking opportunities?

Another good product! I have tried the red Aecorn booze sub before and enjoyed it, and opened a bottle of the green kind yesterday. It's very dry and aggressively herbal. I had it with tonic and it really hit the spot.