To wonder if giving up the booze was really worth it?

[SnafuButGreyNow]

Last summer I stopped drinking. I'd been drinking too much and too regularly, was feeling crappy most days, etc etc, so I cut it out completely. I had two glasses of champagne on Christmas Day but apart from that, nada.

But...I'm not convinced it was worth it! I've lost no weight, my skin isn't clearer, my eyes aren't brighter, I don't really have any more energy. Ok, I don't wake up with a hangover any longer but due to a chronic pain issue I still need painkillers most mornings so I don't feel as if I've gained 'freedom' much there.

DH still has a couple of glasses of wine most days and tbh I miss sharing a bottle with him whilst we cook dinner. Summer is approaching and I feel a bit sad that I won't be mixing up the Aperol Spritz or making a lovely g&t with lots of ice and cucumber, or opening a fridge-cold bottle of Picpoul.

I find it hard to moderate and I don't like 'mocktails'. Alcohol-free 'booze' mainly tastes crappy. Part of me just thinks, fuck it, why bother, just drink if you want to. And to be really honest, whilst I completely understand the ridiculousness of our cultural obsession with equating drinking with having a good time, I do feel a bit boring and puritanical when I'm not drinking .

So AIBU to think, meh, what was the point?

@littleloopylou

If it helps, Sanbitter is the nonalcoholic aperitivo of choice in Italy, so you can feel elegant and continental while you drink it. Sometimes I add a dash of bitters to enhance the bitterness, plus it's nice with an orange slice.

I usually have Martini Vibrante with some lavender and rosemary tonic.

That does help, pathetically

If you're pathetic, so am I!

Honestly that doesn’t sound too much to me. One or two small glasses four or five nights a week and maybe a bottle at the weekend. Yes it’s over the guidelines, but it’s not that excessive in reality. Can you maybe knock the during the week drinking on the head and just a sat night or something?

I've been booze free since beginning of Jan - have lost weight and slept better - I don't want to stay off booze forever though - I'm really looking forward to a proper drink over Easter. I find alcohol free beers to be a good substitute.

@LyingWitchInTheWardrobe - yes, really good point about booze being 'ok' up to a point whereas smoking isn't on any level. And smoking has a social stigma now that alcohol doesn't.

OK, I'm going to buy some bitter drinks and stay sober for a bit longer!

Well done for a year off the booze. Your liver will have had a nice break. I've given up alcohol for Lent before and was disappointed that I lost no weight. But I realised I swapped booze for snacking so not surprising really

Don’t! Don’t start again!! You have a year under your belt and thinking you stopped once you can do it again is not always the case!!!

Don’t start again!

I think the main concern is that you can't moderate and depend on alcohol to de-stress when you drink. Those are signs that you don't have a healthy relationship with alcohol. Until you can change that, it wouldn't be a good idea to go back to drinking.

I don't think drinking, unless very heavy, impacts negatively on everyones appearance. Most people look may look a little better from abstaining, less weight, more hydrated, but there are a few exceptions where it seems to make little difference.
Also any positive impact of giving up drinking on appearance would likely be very subtle, and probably more preventative than restorative.
If you're concerned about your drinking though, could you maybe just drink socially (when its allowed!) rather than every night?

But I realised I swapped booze for snacking so not surprising really

Sadly I discovered over lockdown that I have a genuine talent for making incredibly rich and gooey chocolate brownies...with that and the bloody perimenopause I have no chance of losing any weight just by giving up wine!

Maybe you'd enjoy 0.0 % beer rather than sweeter soft drinks? There are some excellent ones around.

When I was a drinker I drank wine, not beer. But alcohol free beer hits a certain spot.

I think if you were drinking too much for a reason snd you just stop, it doesn't feel good because you haven't done anything about the reason you were drinking. That's why it's good to look at what you can add in to your life now that will fill that hole formerly filled by alcohol.

I'm sure you are healthier even if it's not obvious to you. Someone stopped me a few months in and said how shiny my hair looked-I hadn't noticed. I was too busy being disappointed that I hadn't lost weight.

I gave up about a year and a half ago. I do feel better for it, but also still miss drinking. I snack instead, do have put on weight 😟

So!

And as a PP said...you aren't waking up every day to regrets and possibly a hangover. You need never have another hangover!!

I was exactly like you OP. In fact me and DH would finish two bottles of red off a night. I'm pregnant now and have hurrendous nausea so I havent touched a drop. Before I got pregnant however I hadn't touched alcohol for around 7 months as, like you, cannot seem to do it in moderation. But my god I miss it. I want to try for a home birth this time round, is it wrong of me that I'm already envisaging having a glass of prosecco in bed with my new baby after giving birth? 🤣

(I used to be on your LCHF threads years ago and was a total evangelist for it. But I now eat A LOT of sugar and bake bread and cakes every single weekend. All or nothing grin)

I’m very much all or nothing and it takes a lot of work and mental effort to moderate, but I have learned to do so quite successfully.

Quoting the above because the first thing I thought when you said you hadn’t seen any benefits at all from no alcohol was, ‘That will be due to diet choices’. Perhaps cut back a bit on the sugar and baked goods and then you really will see a change!

Not being judgy or puritanical, btw. I love food and I love wine...If it were possible to have lots of everything I love all the time and still be in a good place physically and mentally, I’d do it!

In answer to your musings on alcohol...welllll...if you can say to your husband that since he is able to moderate, you need him to be your pacer and you will try to have the one bottle between you of a spring or summer evening, then personally I would say there’s nothing wrong with trying. But only you know if you’ll be able to stop again if that turns into drinking more than is healthy every evening.

You might have to dip your toe in and see what happens. And if you find it becomes a problem again then I would say you’re better off quitting altogether, for good.

I can't have no booze AND no cake, come on, I'm not trying to be Gwyneth bloody Paltrow here

I don't understand why you cant have a G & T in the summer and still not drink 3x glasses of wine a night? Occasional drinking is fine (moderation) but why does it have to be all or nothing?

If I could find an alcohol free wine that tastes like a very nice red wine, then I would give up alcohol. My trouble is I really like the taste of wine. A really deep red like Malbec or Rioja, or a nice crisp Chardonnay are my top go tos.
I try not to drink mid week, but will occasionally have a g&t. The weekends I do drink too much, and I do hate feeling so rubbish the next day.
A soft drink I do like is apple and mango squash with soda water, over ice with a sprig of fresh mint. It's not sharp but it's not too sweet like mock tails can be. Or I have a no g&t, so tonic water over ice with a squeeze of lime.

If you don't think you'd be able to stick to x nights a week or not buying more than y bottles a week then IMO it's worth staying sober for your long term health. Even if you don't feel better you don't know what damage you were doing to your liver. You managed just a couple of glasses at Christmas so maybe you can do Christmas and birthdays and any other meaningful dates?

I've given up booze and sugar for lent and I'm enjoying tonic water with ice and lime in the evenings and trying some of the different Fevertree flavours.

I haven't had any alcohol since 1st January - I always intended to continue for 100 days and that's still my plan. I haven't really missed alcohol, but also have no intention of giving it up for ever... I definitely don't want to go back to drinking every Friday, Saturday and Sunday night though. I agree that it's not at all like smoking, which I gave up 15 years ago and will never go back to, as there is so much social expectation around alcohol.

How did you manage to stick to a couple of glasses of champagne at Xmas? Can you not use the same mindset that you used then?

I'm not a big drinker, so I'm no help, I tend to only drink socially these days, so not much at all this last year! But yes, I'll enjoy an Aperol Spritz or whatever in the summer, but don't want more than 2. But then, I wouldn't want more than 2 of ANY drink on an evening. I also sleep horrifically if I go over the magic 2 glasses, and often get a mild allergic reaction to alcohol too (stuffy nose), so that naturally puts me off. Plus I exercise most days, so would be annoyed with myself if I woke up feeling a bit shit and tired and couldn't bring myself to do a workout (I struggle enough to motivate myself at the best of times!!).

@SnafuButGreyNow

More than 1 or 2 small glasses *@Bluntness100*. Say, half a bottle of red maybe 4-5 nights a week, maybe more at the weekends. On a sunny summer's evening DH and I could easily polish off a couple of bottles of cold white wine. Definitely way over the guidelines most weeks. Enough to make me realise I needed to do something about it.

Stopping was easy. It's staying stopped that's hard.

That's quite a lot in a week really.

Funnily enough, DB and SIL drink wine most evenings - maybe half a bottle or a whole bottle of white between them but they don't see it as proper drinking and when they have spirits they think they're stronger.

If I've had double gins one night as was the case recently - it must be age but I felt it the next day, don't sleep as well etc. Pity because I love gin!

I'm similar to you though - if I did drink before - maybe twice a week - if I gave it up I didn't notice vast changes in health, weight etc - so didn't give it up then - but did prefer to drink when out, rather than at home.

I drank more than I 'should', undoubtedly, but not to the extent written about in those books.
Yet. I feel like the only word missing from that sentence is "yet".
I might be wrong, but I could never really moderate very well either, and it went, oh so gradually, from being "a bit much" to "I can't stop and I am killing myself with it"
SOME people can moderate. Some of us find something we like,, and we like it a little more than it likes us.
I quit drinking and didn't lose a single pound, although I did sleep much better and felt MUCH less anxious.
The main thing I learned is that you can't just quit 1 thing, that actually was a huge part of your life, and not replace it with anything. Annoyingly, many people choose running as a replacement, which is why sober threads are always full of running bores. You don't have to give up cake, or run, but you do have to re-assign your passion to something else, whatever it may be. Something that gives you joy and excitement and breaks up the monotony.
Also, you probably don't actually quite realise how much better you feel (and probably look), because it's gradual, but I guarantee if you start boozing again you will soon remember how much worse you could feel (and look).
I'm not anti alcohol, and some people genuinely can take it or leave it, but if you are not one of them then think very hard about starting again.

@SnafuButGreyNow

I can't have no booze AND no cake, come on, I'm not trying to be Gwyneth bloody Paltrow here

Hahaha! Wasn’t at all suggesting you give everything up...

Just saying if you want your skin to be clear and so on and so forth so that not having alcohol is more ‘worth it’ to you, then that would be the way to do it.