To be annoyed that we have to have SC

[miltonkeeyno]

Every week dp has his dd for a few hours in the week (as well as every weekend) she is currently off school self isolating as someone in her class was positive. Her mum doesn't have to isolate unless she shows signs.
Tomorrow we are due to have her over but i assumed because she was self isolating we weren't. DP rang her mum to ask and she said she is working so we are.

Is it all fine and nothing to worry about?

Or are we getting screwed over because she has to work?

Maybe i dont understand the rules and its ok but seems to me like self isolating means.... to self isolate...

OK well according to the rules she probably should stay put, but you sound extremely unpleasant. Her mother is balancing work and childcare. Are you going to cover any missed wages for her because you don't want to be 'screwed over' by having your stepchild? Are you offering to support them in any other way? Remotely help with home learning for instance? Bloody hell.

It is absolutely against the rules for her to come to you when she should be isolating.

She is not allowed to come and your DH should tell her mum that.

I think we have had this before, and the answer was that a child with 2 homes can move between them despite self isolating.
I may be wrong though as I'm not in that position.

Sometimes people need to use common sense. Your oh barely has his child as it is and her mum needs to work. I’d say unless she’s tested positive or is showing symptoms, he needs to look after her. Perhaps he can stay with the mum for a couple weeks to help and they can isolate together?

OP some people on Mumsnet are not very kind to step parents.

I'm not sure what the rules are as I know generally children are allowed to see their parents regardless of other restrictions but it doesn't seem sensible for her to come to you if she is supposed to be self isolating and I can understand why you would be concerned.

I think she can come to you, but maybe in the circumstances it would make sense for her Dad to go and sit with her at her mums house so she doesn't move around and risk spreading Covid?

Your partner is a parent. Screwed over? FFS. Do everyone a favour and find a man without children.

I think we have had this before, and the answer was that a child with 2 homes can move between them despite self isolating.
I may be wrong though as I'm not in that position.

You are wrong.

Moving between your parents' houses is not a permitted reason to break isolation.

I also think that whilst the rules might say no, given that we are now in a much better position with the vaccine etc, if her mum is allowed to go to work, the dd should be able to come to you as split households have operated throughout as one household and children have been allowed to travel between. It would only make sense to say no if her mum and all the household members of everyone in the affected bubble also had to isolate.

I would imagine that both parents should be equally responsible for taking care of their child when she is self isolating. I am not sure why the responsibility should only fall to one parent. Also not sure why you are implying your partner should not be having his daughter every weekend and a few hours in the week. I assume he does want to see his child?

I think ideally the child should stay at her mums. If she really can’t then of course she should come to you. I do think anyone is “screwed over” though. The overwhelming chances are your dd doesn’t have it but make sure she doesn’t have any symptoms before she comes.

Well her mum needs to work so her dad needs to look after her

@Frazzled2207

I think ideally the child should stay at her mums. If she really can’t then of course she should come to you. I do think anyone is “screwed over” though. The overwhelming chances are your dd doesn’t have it but make sure she doesn’t have any symptoms before she comes.

I DON’T think

Do you and your partner work, and will this be affected if you have DSD whilst she is self isolating?

Re the isolating, as others have said surely she should stay with her mother. If she is asymptomatic surely it’s better for her to only potentially infect one of you as opposed to three?

I’m guessing there a back story for your feelings of “being screwed over”?

"However, with an increase in the use of track and trace and also testing, the latest report goes one step further and addresses the position in respect of children who are self-isolating. Parents are placed under an obligation under government regulations to ensure, so far as reasonably practicable, that any child who has had close contact with somebody who has tested positive for Coronavirus self-isolates for 10 days. The regulations require that anyone subject to the self-isolation requirement must not leave their home with immediate effect (save for specified exceptions such as to seek medical assistance). In contrast to the exception to the “stay at home” requirement outlined above, visiting a parent with whom the child does not usually live with is not listed as a reason why a person self-isolating may leave the house. That, of course, then impacts on any agreed arrangements (whether they are court-ordered or not)."

parissmith.co.uk/blog/child-arrangements-self-isolation/

It's not a question of being unkind to step parents.

I'd be angry at anyone considering themselves "Screwed over" and then being responsible for a child. Children are vulnerable and don't deserve being in the co.pany of people who actively resent their presence in their life. As the OP has a choice she can walk away removing the potential for years of harm to the child's self worth by making her unwelcome.

@HeckyPeck

It is absolutely against the rules for her to come to you when she should be isolating.

She is not allowed to come and your DH should tell her mum that.

Why do idiots like you insist on giving advice when it’s wrong?

I’ve just looked at the governments website and isolating children are allowed to live between their parents homes. ‘Parents are told to exercise reasonable judgments regarding chance of infection and the presence of any vulnerable people in the home’.

@HeckyPeck

I think we have had this before, and the answer was that a child with 2 homes can move between them despite self isolating. I may be wrong though as I'm not in that position.

You are wrong.

Moving between your parents' houses is not a permitted reason to break isolation.

Yes it is

@Insomnia5

Sometimes people need to use common sense. Your oh barely has his child as it is and her mum needs to work. I’d say unless she’s tested positive or is showing symptoms, he needs to look after her. Perhaps he can stay with the mum for a couple weeks to help and they can isolate together?

Touché.

I think that's a great solution actually. The dad can go and stay with his child and provide care there. How does that sound op? And to Elder this is not about ring horrible to a step parent. This is about a step parent suggesting that caring for their step child for a tiny chunk of time while the mother works is 'screwing them over'.

Depends - was she with her do within 48hours of the person in class testing positive?

commonslibrary.parliament.uk/research-briefings/cbp-8901/

"2.2 Children who are self-isolating (England)
Under The Health Protection (Coronavirus, Restrictions) (Self-Isolation) (England)
Regulations 2020, as amended, which came into force on 28 September 2020, if an adult
is notified (other than via the NHS Covid-19 smartphone app) that their child has had
close contact with somebody who has tested positive for coronavirus, the adult must
“secure, so far as reasonably practicable, that the child self-isolates” for ten days.
A person subject to the self-isolation requirement must not leave their home except for a
list of reasons specified in paragraph 2(3) of the regulations – e.g. where it is necessary to
seek medical assistance. Visiting a parent whom a child was not living with at the time
they were notified of the requirement to self-isolate is not specifically listed as a reason
why a child self-isolating may leave the house."

I would have thought that as she’s isolating as a close contact then she could move between her parents homes. To minimise the risk of her possibly having it and risking spreading it to you then her dad really needs to go and homeschool her while her mum is working. They are both her parents.

How would it be screwing you over?
Children are allowed to see their parents if they don't live together.